And today my mom wanted me go to church. I don't feel like church serves me any purpose. So I told her I don't believe in God. And she freaked out and said....
"How could you do this? You've been going to church all your life, how could you not believe in God? Do you understand you can't go to heaven if you don't believe?"
And when I try to explain myself they block me out. I told them I refuse to have these ideas planted in my head, and I want to find what I believe in on my own terms. Who knows, I might someday find God, but not right now. I am still thinking and exploring all the possibilities. But they are so intolerable and make everything so difficult.
So I guess what I am asking is...
Why do they think I have to believe in their beliefs?
Is this right for them criticize to me?
What can I do to make them understand?
And why is it when I question them on their own beliefs they get angry?
2007-10-09 11:23:58 · 15 answers · asked by Well, Hello There! 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Read my profile and you will see that my family is a little "unconventional". All you can do is follow your own heart and path, where ever it leads you.
2007-10-09 11:28:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I will answer you by each question you asked since I went through similar circumstances ...
Why do they think I have to believe in their beliefs? It is due to the fact that they have invested so much time in you with this message.
Is this right for them to criticize me? Indeed, get used to it. People will criticize you on many different fronts, your parents are no different.
What can I do to make them understand? At the very least respect your parents, you can give them that much. When it comes to the topic of church or religion simply answer them in as kind a manner as possible. If they become belligerent point this out.
And why is it when I question them on their own beliefs they get angry? Usually the intolerant will do this because they have never exercised anything then a presumed or forced acceptance of their beliefs. As well, your family probably never thought one of their own would "turn" on them. What they did not anticipate was your own freedom of thought blossoming into what it is.
Take care and stand strong.
2007-10-09 18:43:08 · answer #2 · answered by fierce beard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all let me say congratualtions for taking a stand and recognizing you have a CHOICE.
My family had to go through the same thing with me. It was difficult and it took years before they understood and accepted my right to choose what I believe. Parents look out for their kids, they want what is best for them and that involves what they felt was best for them. The reality is that we are not them, we are not their puppets, we have a right to explore what we've been told is truth our whole lives.
It is not right for them to criticize you, they really should accept that you have a right to CHOOSE and you put it just right when you said: Who knows, I might someday find God, but not right now. I am still thinking and exploring all the possibilities.
Help them understand by pointing out that God has given humankind free will and that it says quite plainly in the bible that those who seek shall find. Maybe even try to pull the "If everyone jumped off a brige should I do it too without knowing if I'll live?"
People who get angry when you question them about beliefs make me sad. What is so hard about explaining it and having a friendly discussion about it?
Be patient. Respect what they believe and continue to see reason for your own beliefs. There is no wrong is educating yourself in other beliefs. We should never just take what is handed to us as truth we should discover it for ourselves.
2007-10-09 18:32:48 · answer #3 · answered by JD 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The funny thing is your mom doesn't have a proper idea of what it is to be saved herself, so she probably doesn't realize she may not be. You have to 1) 2) Confess with your mouth that you do 3) take up your cross and live for Him. Evil spirits believe in God obviously but there's no hope for them. Church serves a purpose if you are looking to understand God's word more or trying to connect with other believers and the reason you would want to understand the Bible better is to understand how it relates practically to your everyday life, so you can see the power inherent in the word, how it changes and transforms things. Your mom freaked out cause it makes sense....no one wants their kid going to hell(if they believe hell exists). Tell them to let you make your own choices and if God wants to speak to you, He will, otherwise you are a big girl. I grew up in a Christian family too....I like mine and they are wonderful parents but some Christian parents can be super-oppressive and freaky. I wouldnt let that scare you about Christianity, its more some people worry a lot and want to be in control. The thing about Christianity is relinquishing control though, to God. Have an intelligent coversation with them and tell them they planted a seed and if God wants to, he'll do the work, not them. Their job is finished.
2007-10-09 18:52:44 · answer #4 · answered by Sinister-6000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) because your lack of belief makes them worry about their belief. And because their priest says so.
2) No.
3) Probably nothing.
4) See 1.
Religions are built on dogma. They are true because they say that they are true. Once you step out of that blind loop religion (IMHO) looks ridiculous. Deep down they know this and do not want to leave the thing that they have believed in for so long and tells them how wonderful they are and how they are better than all the other people who do not believe what they believe.
2007-10-09 18:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by Simon T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people are sensitive about there religion especially in thinking they are right. it might be hard for your family to accept that you are at an age now where you feel ready to make your own choices about the world and where we came from and our purposes ect. maybe they feel as if they have failed in guiding you through life in the way they think is correct if they are very religious?
stick to what you believe, explain to them you dont mean to disrespect there choices and find your own way. you can go to church and not believe what they are saying but your waisting your time.
2007-10-09 18:34:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to answer the first question, they just really want you to believe in what they believe so you can all go to heaven as one big happy family.
second question:
No they aren't suppose to but they are your parents and u do live under their roof.
Third Questuin:
Explain why you don't believe
Fourth Question:
Every body is very defensive about their own religions. U wouldnt want anybody to talk bad about your religion would u??
2007-10-09 18:31:31 · answer #7 · answered by R.E.A.L.I.S.T. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that your mom's reaction made you more certain that you are making the right decision. But you should always be respectful to your parents and explain why you believe this way. I am not Christian but think that you should still have a religion cause it will save you from many dangers later on in life... I probably sound like I am sixty-five, but I am fourteen!
2007-10-09 18:30:18 · answer #8 · answered by Bahar01 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
1) Misguided care
2) They are attacking. Criticizing requires reasoned argument, and they have none.
3) Understanding has nothing to do with blind faith
4) See 2
2007-10-09 18:35:00 · answer #9 · answered by neil s 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents spend many years raising us in their likeness about everything.....food, religion, morals, etc.
When we start to make our own choices it's sometimes hard for them to let go and trust us....and it's very understandable.
I'm an Atheist in a family of Christians....at first it was hard for them.....but now it doesn't matter to them at all.
I go to church with them for special occasions.....to make them happy...otherwise we're fine.
Respect where they're coming from.....give them time.....and they will eventually come around.
2007-10-09 18:31:23 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋