My dad is an ***! My dad still hasn't adopted my step-sister after 3 yrs! And my half sister is turning 2! What should i tell them about dad! i mean i can't lie to them! He even dranks in front of them! And the worest part is i can't be there 24, 7 because they live in NEBRASKA!!! He hates my step-sister! What should i do?!
2007-10-09 11:04:46 · 5 answers · asked by Yoap 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
talk to your dad
2007-10-09 11:11:46 · answer #1 · answered by sweetart993 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your job is to be a supportive brother or sister, not an apologist for your dad. You don't need to tell them anything about your dad. The little ones are too young to understand and an older one is living in the situation.
Tell them that you love them, and try to be a mature role model. When they are old enough to e-mail or call you, try to set a regular time that is THEIR time to talk to you and focus on just them.
If you are able to travel to see them, do so and take them out for "mental health" breaks--doing normal, fun things. You will be making happy childhood memories for them, perhaps the only ones they will have. You have no idea how valuable these times will be--whether it is in person or on the phone or computer.
As they get older, if they need to vent about how things are at home, listen, but don't judge. Remind them that we all leave home, and get to spend the rest of our lives as we see fit. Life is about the choices one makes, not about what happened in this one period of their lives.
Do not put your dad down to them. If they invite you to express an opinion, tell them you would rather talk about positive things.
And to you, anger only hurts you. If your dad is like you say he is, your words will have no impact on his behavior anyway. Use the experience and turn it into something good. Promise yourself you will not be the type of parent he was. You have to let the anger go and make positive choices for yourself, your life, and your siblings.
2007-10-09 18:18:31 · answer #2 · answered by smallbizperson 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry about whats going on with your family first off, what does your mother say? Try talking to someone else, maybe to him personally, get him when hes not drunk or upset and have a mature talk about these things and decide where to go from there.
2007-10-09 18:12:03 · answer #3 · answered by Gabriela D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hates your step sister then it is better that he doesn't adopt her. Besides he sounds as though he has big issues and she doesn't need him as a legal adoptive parent. Your concern is very commendable but it is not your problem to "fix". If they directly ask you for your opinion of your father, then give it to them honestly and directly; if not, then butt out. I am sure your step sister must see him for who he really is.
2007-10-09 18:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by ceegt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing.
stop making yourself the parent in this situation.
live your own life and leave yourself out of it..
2007-10-09 19:42:14 · answer #5 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋