Male/Female communication problems?

Question

8 months ago, I started going out with this girl, and it turns out that she has a lot in her past, and on top of that, is having a ton of problems concerning her dysfunctional family. When we were dating, she frequently lied to me about important issues (eg. sex, background, family) as well as other issues. I chose to stick it out, for a few reasons. #1 she was astray in her life + i really cared about her. #2 she had an abusive family and had nobody else #3 i loved her, #4 she was very fun to make out with. She lied to me, and we always had trouble communicating our feelings and pretty much anything. I ended it because it was hurting me. I dont have this problem with anyone else. Why am I having this problem with her? I recently tried calling her to get some coffee, again, it ended in an argument, because she couldn't express how she felt. What is the problem? What can I do to fix this? Why is it so much trouble? How can I show her a more effective mode of communication?

Answer 1

Religion, science, politics, what are her views? Thats were you attack, sorry to say it well most likly be EXTREMELY hard for you to get her views.... truthfully out of her. But her perception of this world is whats the biggest barror your dealing with. Getting a better idea of how she see's it well help you know were to attack.... short of that, you can use the history she has kept from you to, sort of educate her on her ignorance, its hard thing to do because it amounts to actually RAISING her, just like her dad should of instead of beating her or being neglectful, whatever the case will be. But thats pretty much what happens.... you need to be almost like a father, I know sounds perverse, but its the truth.... been there, down that, could of done more, but its not like you are her athourity on right or wrong as much as your there to help her understand herself better.... its not easy! Thats actually why we have counsellors, which is the role your really going to take.