Have you ever had a best friend or boy friend overdose or die?

Question

One of my ex boy friends over dosed on herion I think it was like 2 months ago. Him and I had a really strong relationship in middle school and though jr. high, and it was like off and on. He wrote me tons of letters, and I saved them all. The last time I got to see him was 2 years ago at a football game, and he didn't look very good. And two months ago one of my friends was at a grocery store that he use to work at and they were saying his name and saying that he passed away. And she called me and let me know, and i just didn't feel like he was really gone, and i didn't cry until i knew it was true. And I found out it really was and his parents died in a car crash when he was like 2 or something. And I just cant get him out of my head! The reason why he killed himself because his best friend did. And I shared some letters with his gardian. And I just can't stop thinking about him I miss him so much and wish i got to talk to him. And i find myself talking about him to my bf.

How long will it take me to get over this? should i get rid of the letters?

Answer 1

To get over it? Probably never. You will never forget him, and you're not supposed to. You just learned about his passing two months ago, it's going to take a little longer than that for you to not think about it constantly.

My co-worker killed herself and I couldn't sleep for so long... I thought I would never be able to get her out of my head. I was more so mad at her for doing so-she had children, little ones too and now they were without their mom. I think it's super selfish, but a lot of people cannot escape anyother way, and it's sad.

You will come to closure eventually, just give it some time.

Answer 2

I would say keep the letters... it will help with the memories of him.. i was friends with this guy he was like my brother we did everything together.. i was in school one day and found out that he had killed himself over his ex girl.. this was about a year and a half ago i still to this day miss him i go see his grave atleast 3 times a week.. there is not a day that has gone by i dont think about him its one of those things you will never forget about it because you did care.. just surround yourself with people that love you i know its a hard thing to go thru i had to find out that it happened from a girl walking down the hallway.. everytime i closed my eyes for about a month after that i just saw him hanging there.. i cried every night.. all you do is just think about all the good times you had together and it will help.. it will take time but you will never loose the memory of him. if you need someone to talk to please email me i will lend my ear because i have been tru this is [e-mail]

Answer 3

I'm a 23 year old college senior in rural southern WV and I've known way, way too many people to die from an overdose. Let me guess - you say heroin, but I bet you meant oxycontin/prescription painkillers, right? That's what's been killing kids around here. Yes, I have known several young people to die from that, and one was a really close friend of myself and my family. It's natural to miss him, and it may never stop. I first lost a close friend 5 years ago, and I still talk about him with my brother and friends. I would hang on to the letters, but don't obsess over them. Read them for what they are - a portrait in time.
For me, the best way to deal with it was to count the many ways I loved my friend and the many good times we had together. Consider yourself lucky to have shared a relationship with him, because many people never had that chance. And be an advocate against those drugs to which he was hooked - it still pains me a whole lot to go back to my hometown because I see so many people still hooked on those drugs.

Answer 4

No don't get rid of the letters. Grieving is a process especially when it is a sudden death. Take your time and it will get better each day. As far as discussing w/your bf, if he get's mad let him know that this guy is not a threat because he is deceased, but I would talk about it to someone else instead. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. Living that type of life is a living dead - too bad he did not get treatment. Pray for his soul and that he made it to heaven. Let time heal you. Pray for healing and understanding if you believe in prayer.

Answer 5

Even though you haven't been that close lately, at one time he was very important in your life. It is only natural that you will be upset and feel a loss. I am also assuming that you are young and may not have that much experience with dealing with death. Not that it ever gets easier but we become more accustomed with how to get through it.
It is important that you grieve in your own way and try to remember the good person he was not he person who used drugs or hurt himself.
It is equally important that you realize although you may miss him, have some guilt and be sad, there is nothing you can do to change it and beating yourself up or being miserable won't help. You have to move forward with your own life. It will get easier every day.
I have a trick, I make myself think of a good thought or memory every time I am feeling sad or upset about that person.

Answer 6

Actually, looking at my high school yearbook (circa 1970s) is kind of depressing. Within a year or two of graduation fifty or more of my close friends and classmates were no longer eligible for the census (as they say). High potency drugs/hallucinogens were/are a major killer. Making them illegal hasn't slowed their use either. Truth is, people will do anything to get that maximum rush, regardless of the risks. Sorry to hear of your loss. Sadly, there is no expiration date on grieving. This is something that varies by the individual. Just don't get too depressed and move on with your own life!

Answer 7

I don't think you should get rid of the letters. I think maybe just put them away for a while.

Time will help you - it is hard though.

My best friend in San Diego was murdered in the Clothestime store we worked at shortly after I moved away. That was a long time ago, so now, it is nice to have those momentos of her.

Answer 8

No, you shouldn't get rid of something that makes you feel so much. Keep them but maybe it's time to put them away so that you can focus on moving on. When you talk with your boyfriend thank him for being understanding while you go through this. He may feel as if you still loved this guy in your heart and he may end up feeling slighted. Don't forget to reassure him of your feelings for him. People deal with loss differently and you need to just talk it out to understand it. The problem is, the situation is tragic and it's hard not to dwell on it. But you have to let it out and go forward with your current friends and your boyfriend.

Answer 9

you might never get over it :( but he chose to do what he did and you gotta know that. Obviously it is not your fault but that usually doesn't make people feel better and knowing it is not your fault doesn't change things he is still gone. i know what you mean by not crying at first not believing it. when my dad died i didn't cry and it must of mad me look heartless but i just couldn't because it didn't feel real. DONT get rid of the letters that is what you have left of him so keep them as memories but you got to move on, i mean he did die 2 months ago and you didn't know which probably makes u feel worse. i am not sure what the question is but no i have never had someone i know die of drug overdose though one of my best finds did drugs once i have had someone die though, but haven't we all?

Answer 10

I wouldn't get rid of the letters. It's normal to think of the past, but it's not healthy to dwell on it. Only thing that can heal you is time. Just kinda lets you know that any minute can be our last, so it's good to spend time catching up to people you care for. You'll never know if you'll ever get another cahnce!