Can you make up the best story, joke, riddle, ect...ever!!!???!!!?

Question

Ok, here's the deal, you need to make a story, joke, riddle, or anything else you can think of that's in that cadagory. Nothing iniprpreot! Include these things:
1."Ding, dong, the pigish type thing is alive?"
2.Name a chicken "Dingdat"
3.Have a cow swing.

Good luck!

Answer 1

I decided to have a 'Nature Day' down on the farm where would eat only farm produce that I could find there.

The farmer, although a bit strange, agreed to my wish and told me that I could do what I liked but I would have to kill any animal I wanted to eat and pick my own vegetables. He gave me a shotgun and a bell to ring when I had made a kill so that he could come and butcher the carcase for me.

Firstly I felt like a pork chop so made for the pigsty. There was only one pig there so I pointed the gun at it and pulled the trigger. The gun went off with a bang and I rang the bell loudly. Just as the farmer arrived the pig charged towards me as I had obviously missed it and I shouted 'Ding Dong. the pigish thing is still alive.'


The farmer wasn't amused and grabbed me by the collar and dragged me over to the chicken pen. "Right." He hissed, "You're a complete Dingdat and to punish you and prove that your brain is now bigger than a chicken's you're going to pick one of these and name a chicken Dingdat so that everyone will know it's as smart as you." As he was a big man and quite angry I looked at the nearest chicken and named it as requested. This seemed to pacify him but he still hadn't finished. He dragged me to the shippon and tied me up in a sort of leather cradle affair. "This is what we use to lift the cows onto the truck when they go to market." He explained and began to push me until I was dizzy. "Have a cow swing." He said. Eventually he let me out and took me to the farmhouse.

"Right lad." He said "No supper for you. You're going to bed but as there's only two bedrooms, and one's mine, you'll have to get in with my daughter."

At last my luck had changed. Next day at seven o'clock sharp I came downstairs to find that he had prepared breakfast for me.

"This is very kind." I began, "But I've got to tell you. Your daughter's bedroom was quite cold so I had to cuddle up to her during the night and, as you can imagine, one thing led to another but, you know, she was awfully cold too."

"Yeah." He replied, a little sadly. "We bury her today!"

Answer 2

Here are some jokes: Two cannibals are sitting together and sharing a clown for lunch. Suddenly, the one canniball turns to the other and asks, "Does this taste funny to you??" Yo' mama so fat it took the train conductor 2 hours to say "All Aboard"! Chuck Norris actually passed away five years ago but God is afraid to tell him !! One afternoon a blonde was in the middle of mowing her lawn when the family cat accidentally got in the way and OUCH! it's tail got caught in the lawn mower and was sliced clean off. The blonde, near hysteria, grabs both the cat and severed tail and drives like a maniac to the nearest Super Walmart. Why WALMART and not the veterinarian? The blonde had heard someone say that Super Walmarts are the largest and biggest RE-TAIL-ERS in the world !! Q: What has four legs and an arm? A: A pitbull !! Q: Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men? A: It changes their blood type.

Answer 3

"Ding, dong, the pigish type thing is alive?" I asked, panicked. "No, of course.... nevermind, YES!!!!" Dingdat, my talking chicken, answered. "But we cannot destroy him ourselves and that means we will never reach the gold behind him!" I replied, my palms beginning to sweat uncontrolably. Whipping my head rapidly in all directions, I looked for another way past this monster. Surfacing the area, all I saw was the hard, flat ground, the strange pig thing, and far off to the left of this cold, empty, cave, a cow swing. It was hanging over a pool of lava, but after swinging over it, there was another entrance to the temple of gold. "I see another way!" I yelled to Dingdat over the squeling of the beast. "But it is a little dangerous." At my comment Dingdat got a worried look on his face but still followed my hurried steps.
Once we reached the swing, I, nervously, grabbed it and held on tight. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed, nearly slipping from my grip on the coarse rope. "Whoa..." I steadied my hand and reached the other side of the boiling lava. Once over my slip, I looked over at Dinddat who was now next to me, shivering with fear. "The worst is over." I assured him, walking toward the entrance to the temple of gold. But, unfortunatly, I was wrong...

Answer 4

Ding dong the piggish type thing is alive.
"Well, can we cook it and eat it?"
"No, I was referring to your mother."

Answer 5

Good luck to you on this....