Am I being too Old Fashioned, or is it something else ??

Question

I have always had old fashioned ways, and I hate when a man does not have a car and wants me to drive him around, or pick him up and bring him to my house. I find this kind of embarrassing.
So dont you think I'm way to old school, or do other woman feel this way ??
( please no rude answers, it's just a question )

Answer 1

I don't think it is being too old fashioned. It has become the trend that some guys have nothing for themselves and want some successful woman to come along and wisk them out of their reality into a fantasy world. If you have worked for all the things you have and continue each day to do so then it reasonable to expect any potential mate to at least be on the same level.


It has been my experience that men who lack those things probably lack a job and the motivation to get out and get one....so you are better off not opening yourself up to become a victim of Mr. Gets by On My Charm.

So in summation you are not the only one who feels this way. I struggle with it daily which is probably why I am dateless because I have and adhere to my standards. I don't mean them to rude or ugly but given my previous dating history there are some things I simply WILL NOT tolerate. At the top of the list is a man without his own. It doesn't have to be the best and I will work with a guy who is trying to make it like me, but to simply have nothing and feel no shame or injury to one's pride well that says that person doesn't care about himself and might be incapable of caring about you.

Answer 2

Sounds like it's just a preference you have.

Does he know how you feel about it? You can always say, "sorry, wanna see me, hitch up a horse!" and I for one would understand. How he reacts, though, is up to him.....


If you resent a situation,it's better to acknowledge it and be honest with yourself so you can determine the true causes of any dissatisfaction you may have.

If a "wheel-less" guy has "pluses" that outweigh this "minus," you can always decide to compromise.

A lot of big-city guys may not have cars even if they can afford them because they usually use public transport (or limousines or private jets, lol). Other folks have other reasons, ranging from sensible (thriftiness) to criminal! I guess the lack of auto is merely an outward sign of characteristics you may or may not find to be compatible with what you want at present.

If it's the gallantry you want rather than proof of automobile ownership (I mean note or lease) then he should appreciate that enough to make transportation arrangements.

Answer 3

I understand how you feel--and I've lived it, so to speak. My husband was assertive and positive and made good money when we first got married. Unfortunately, he hasn't had the best of luck through the years career-wise, and that, coupled with some poor decisions and a "victim's mentality," has placed him in a different situation now--some of it is his fault and some of it isn't--it is what it is, I guess.

I'm the breadwinner in my family; my income sustains us. I wasn't raised this way; I don't like it and it's upsetting because this isn't the man I married; this isn't what I envisioned at all.

HOWEVER, I've learned to look at the picture as a whole. He loves me, he is good to me, he is a wonderful father and he isn't a leech--there is a big difference between a poor man and a man who is using you for money.

I believe in giving a person a chance...but just be on guard. You don't want to be taken for granted! Also, remember that not all nice guys have money and not all guys who have money are nice.

Answer 4

I think that you could be missing out on a very nice man. Just because he does not have a car or even have a lot of money does not mean he is not a good man and will make a great husband. You don't want someone unemployed either but you should give guys with out cars a chance. He won't be like that forever.

Answer 5

Yes, I think you're being old-fashioned. You're still expecting people to live up to the old gender roles.

I guess there is nothing wrong with that, but I most definitely don't feel the same way.

Answer 6

I am old fashioned myself then.I think it would be embarrassing as well.Also I can't stand that when you date them,they think your food is their food.I dated a guy and he would help himself to my fridge.I also have paid for my own meal.He stated that he had forgotten him wallet on the way to dinner,I looked over and ask him how was he going to eat then?He just smiled and said nothing,I paid for my bill,only.His check book was in his truck.Live and learn.I sure found out that dates are not the same.They want every thing free.

Answer 7

I think its a bit outdated but if thats who you are thats ok. But I think it should be fine for you to drive a man around. And if he doesn't have a car you're being kind by helping him out. You shouldn't feel embarassed because in all honesty whats the big deal between the drivers seat and the passengers seat.

Answer 8

Hell yes I feel the same way you do. In fact I hate asking people for rides, I like being independent, but at the same time I like men being gentlemen; having class and having money. I am not anyone's babysitter except for my pets.

Answer 9

I hate that too. No car, no date! Not having a car usually means one of the following:

- he doesn't have a job
- he can't handle his finances
- he has a bad driving record and lost his license
- he's only dating you because you drive him around
- he's lazy
- he can't take care of himself
- he expects things in life to be handed to him
- he has no shame

Answer 10

It's very personal. If you don't like doing it, don't date him. The most important thing is to know what you want or like out of life.