I get my son every other weekend and every tuesday and thursday after school and thursday he sleeps over and i bring him to school the next day. His mom has him when i don't. We have beening doing for 5 yrs and it works out great but now that his in school i wonder if this is the best for him. What i mean would it be better to have his mom keep him during the week so he can have the same routine for school nights and i could get him every weekend?At my house he has to sleep on the couch in the living room at his moms he has his oun room. On tuesday when he goes home at 8 it only gives us 2 hours by the time his homework is done and we eat its time to bring him home to his moms. I would miss not seeing him all week and he would miss me too I just feel hes being shuffled around from one place to anouther. My ex is fine with ether way.
2007-10-09 09:17:47 · 12 answers · asked by pete L 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I would think that would be a good idea...you could have him on the weekends and maybe on certain holidays....but you and your ex would have to figure that out, its good that you are wanting to spend time with your son. Best of luck!!!!
2007-10-09 09:25:14 · answer #1 · answered by writersbestfriend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you are going to be able to determine what is right for your son so here's some things to think about. How does your child handle the rotating schedule now? Is it impacting his grades, social development, etc? If not then I would say that the schedule you have now is alright to keep the way it is. Kids are resilient and can go with the flow as long as it's consistent. Consistency is extremely important particularly to younger children. It's also very important that he has this bond with you and missing out on that time might just have more of an impact on him than bedtime consistency at his home. Kids are more interested in getting your attention even if it's doing homework and dinner. They just want your time. You should take pride that you are providing this kind of stability for him and not cramming down activity after activity to make up for lost moments. It's your presence on a regular basis that will mean more to him when he's older not whether you took him every where or made sure he slept in his own bed. So think about him, how he's doing and make your plans according to how he's doing. Remember your love/attention is what he needs.
2016-05-20 00:21:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're lucky that you don't have to fight with your ex about spending time with your son (my husband is constantly in court cause his ex is such a hassle!) anyway...
have you talked to your son about what he would prefer? he's old enough to understand what your concerns are and could help you figure out what's best for him. maybe you could change Tuesday's visit to an overnight as well so you don't have to rush through homework and dinner before he goes back to mom's?
I would also suggest making your during the week visits consecutive (ie - Tuesday and Wednesday or Wednesday and Thursday) instead of having him Tuesday and Thursday so you could have him a couple days in a row. It might even be better to have him Thursday and Friday or Monday and Tuesday so that when you have him every other weekend you've really got 4 days in a row together.
having him every weekend instead of alternating weekends and a couple weekdays every week could work too but if mom works during the week and has weekends off she may decide later that she misses her free time with him and would want to go back to alternating weekends.
hope this helps
2007-10-09 09:32:07 · answer #3 · answered by smarty pants 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the more he sees you, the better. Ultimately, he won't care if he sleeps on the couch when all is said and done, he will care that he was able to be with his dad. Also, having him during the week will mean you have to help with homework and do the mundane things so he won't see you as the parent who he gets to do fun stuff with and mom is the boring one. You have a routine right now that seems to be working.
Plus, you never know, as he gets older and has stuff at school he needs a male perspective on it will be good that you see him during the week. Sadly divorce means he will be shuffled from one place to another no matter what visitation schedule you have
2007-10-09 09:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, let me commend you on being such a caring father that you want to do what's right for your son. There are many aspects to this question. How is your son doing in school? Does his life seem disrupted? Is he missing out on activities? Two hours may not seem like a lot, but its important time that he has with you. If he is off by himself in the corner eating dinner alone and doing his homework alone, then it isn't worth it. However, if he is with you working on homework WITH you, eating dinner WITH you, then this is valuable time. It isn't so much how much time you have, as that you have time with him. I think a father's time with his child is so undervalued these days. Believe me, your son will appreciate that you spent that time with him in year's to come. It wouldn't hurt to sit down with him and see how he feels about the situation. You may be able to come up with an even better situation for him, but I would definitely keep as much time with your son as possible. Children need their fathers.
2007-10-09 11:29:21 · answer #5 · answered by Eowyn64 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in a consitant home is a good idea for your son.
I know how you must feel and the part that is hard is the distance youll feel towards each other specialy if he gets older. but its a better choice for him to have a bedroom and a consitant thing during school less to worry about and less to get used to.
I also think that having him in the weekend benefits him to go to like a get way place to relax and have fun with his dad so you get both good and bad sides out of this deal.
Me and my dad did this I am a daddy girl. And I know it was a tough decision of course he spoke to me and my mom before and it was a good idea. try it.
and feel good about your decisions your giving him a chance to be less stressed. and giving your self a chance in case life changes for you to adjust comfortably without to much worrying on how he would feel.
2007-10-09 13:00:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through this when I was a kid. When you pull him away from his house, then he misses out on things he can do with his friends. During the week, instead of him doing his homework and then playing with his friends, he is going with you. I know I liked seeing my Dad, but I did miss out on a lot of stuff, because I was being pulled away from my friends and the things that they were doing. If you have him every weekend, then when will he play with his friends at his Mom's house and do stuff with them.
I know it is a rough situation, since I have lived through it. You want to see your Dad, but you also want to go places with your friends too.
The every other week end was not that bad, it allowed me to see my friends and play with them and still have time to do things with my Dad. You may also get to see your son on Sunday afternoons and evenings too on weekends that you don't have him. Say from 2-6pm. That was how we worked it out.
Good luck with you situation, hope it works out for you and him.
2007-10-09 09:38:20 · answer #7 · answered by Fordman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know what? i like the idea of her having him all week while he goes to school and u getting him on weekends. look at it this way: shell have him everyday for 4-5 days and he wont see u all those days...hell miss u enough to truly enjoy spending time with u on the weekends...and u him! see?! same thing for mom! she gets 2 days to herself and shell miss him and enjoy him when she does have him all week! i think its a win-win situation for everybody!
if shes ok with that? then do it for 2 weeks and see if u all like the routine! i think its better than a kid going around in circles so to speak...LOL!!!
goodluck to u all!
2007-10-13 08:49:45 · answer #8 · answered by femz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you ever do this. Your son has a home with you too and when he is with you he lives with you, complete with a normal life of taking to school in the morning, waking up and sharing breakfast. Of course, you can throw your rights away if you wish, get your head on straight and understand they are your family and the family doesn't shut down when they go to their mothers. It would be the stupidest thing you ever did in your life.
2007-10-09 09:30:03 · answer #9 · answered by Ben B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have him every weekend and let him be stable for school during the week. Kudos for you for being a great dad!!
2007-10-09 09:25:44 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Sexy Mama of 2 cuties♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋