Is there something terriably wrong with me?

Question

Lately I've been purposly hurting myself. It actually makes me feel better, which is somthing that doesn't make a lot sence to me. My mom and I have been fighting worse and worse as I've grown up; and it's not getting any better. I have this Teddy bear, and having him up to my face just calms me down (since I've done that since I was a baby) It's a fool proof way to calm me down, and let my stress melt away. My mom this I'm sucking on my fingers (like I used to do when I was little) and dispite my millions of time of telling her I'm not, and that it just makes me feel better, she compares me to a baby and took it away (to God knows where) ALSO; during our fights she doesn't listen to what you have to say. She thinks of only what she will say and ignores you and if she thinks that you're a ***** then yea. You're a ***** to her, can't change her mind no matter what (yes she thinks I'm a *****) Lately she's been slapping me, so I also hurt myself. Is it wrong to do this to myself?

Answer 1

Honey, what your mother is doing to you is emotional abuse and that was insanely cruel to take your bear away from you like that and to call you names! All of us bring certain childhood habits and coping techniques with us into adulthood, that's more normal than a lot of people will admit.

I can understand why you're hurting yourself, you need a release and that's the best one you can find. But there are other options out there! And your first step in the right direction was coming on here looking for advise, it shows that you're intelligent enough to realize that things aren't how they're supposed to be, that's a huge concept for someone your age to understand. Next, I really think it would be a good idea for you to talk to a school counselor or someone who you trust about the way your mom is treating you and how you react to this treatment. They can help you find better ways that work for you to deal with this and they can also help your mom realize what she's doing to you and they can offer her the services she needs to straighten up.

Good luck & best wishes!

Answer 2

If you're telling us the truth then YES, it is wrong.... Usually in Parent/Teen Wars both are at fault for the problems...The parent for using the 'I'm an adult , so do as a say" with no explantion and the child for failing to see that what they are doing is wrong (most teenagers are like this, so was I). If you mom is a bad parent (which most likely she is because she's hitting you)

If you're looking for someone to give you a 'every thing is going to be ok' speech as IF you're 5 years old, you're not getting it.. I've been in your situation and it NEVER helps.. you need a black or white solution..

First off, no matter what happens .. STOP HURTING YOURSELF or you'll find in yourself in a situation 100 times worse than the one you're in now... (or dead if you're doing what I assume is the new fad today among depressed teenagers)

After you stop hurting yourself , start looking for a way out FAST, it's what I did, if you're close to finishing high school..then rough it out until then and do everything you can to keep your mom calm, then go live in a dorm... After what I read about the teddy bear your mother seems to enjoy f*cking with you.

If you're a few years away from being 18 or are in middle school tell the police...if this sounds harsh because you love your mother.. then point blank... you will KEEP suffering. I've seen alot of kids suffer horrible teen years because they loved the parents more than they cared about their own well being and couldn't tell the police and or anyone at school what was happening at home....

Answer 3

Hurting yourself is helpful for a short time: it'll give you some release of tension.
Maybe it feels better to be hurt by yourself than to be hurt by another person.
But it does hurt terribly, doesn't it? You feel the pain, don't you? So hurting yourself is not a solution in the end, and it shouldn't develop into a habit.
Better to stick to your beloved Teddy bear.
Look for a teacher or social worker or school nurse you can talk to: you can use some TLC (tenderlovingcare) and understanding. That might be a way towards less stress. I think -in the end- hurting yourself will add to the stress.
What you tell about your mother makes me think: there isn't a lot wrong with you. But definitely something is wrong with the situation you are living in. So get out of that situation for a bit and talk to somebody nice.

Answer 4

You don't mention your age, but being in your teens is tough. School is nuts, the hormones make things even more stressful, and to top it all off, you are expected to behave as an adult without any of the rights or privileges, and are not allowed to be a kid anymore... and the boundaries keep shifting.

About all you really can do is do your best to stay out of trouble and go the path of least resistance... do the few little chores she assigns to you without resistance, get your school work done and try to keep good-enough grades. That may be all you need to keep your mom under control.
A lot of times our first hurdle to overcome is actually our families.

Find some kind of craft hobby you can channel your energies into... maybe even be able to make things that you can sell at school. Please stop hurting yourself... it only leads to infection and keeps your immune system stressed-out. Maybe take up quietly chewing gum to keep you from hurting your teeth.

See if your mom will drop by the health food store and get you an herbal preparation... either "Holy Basil" or "Happy Camper"... you take one with each meal and they lift the cloud off you and help you to focus. Really great stuff.

When you can, get a little job a few days a week after school and over the summers, and save that money. Visualize going to college, earning a living and getting your own apartment.

Answer 5

Sweet person, I am so sorry that you think hurting yourself will ease all the pain and suffering you feel when dealing with your mom or anybody else for that matter.I know at the time it feels like the only thing you can do, but if sitting with your mom and asking her to listen to your point of view does not work you should find someone you can trust to talk to about these things, because honey your body and your life is the only one u get in this lifetime so don't let anyone make you feel you are worthless, because i am a firm believer that no matter what anyone says you were meant to be here, and maybe this will make u someone who can help someone else just like you. god bless you and remember there is always hope in finding someone who cares about u and wants to see you better yourself for you.

Answer 6

yes, hurting yourself is bad, but so is your mom slapping you. and NO there is NOT anything wrong with you. you are just trying to deal with a bad situation. try calling child services. also, start talking to your school counselor about your hurting yourself. I know there are many reasons people hurt themselves, and it all boils down to it feels like it makes things better, but it really doesn't make things better, it just gives you something to focus on instead of the problems. with your counselors help, try to put this focus elsewhere, on art, on schoolwork, on something creative like cooking, or anything, that is helpful to you and not hurting you. and talk to your school counselor about how your mother treats you. you are not the names that your mom calls you, and I know it feels bad to tell someone what she says or what she does, but your counselor can help you, and they won't judge you.

Answer 7

Can you say protective services and therapy?

It's call "cutting". Usually goes along with abuse..mostly sexual but others also. Tell someone other than mom, someone u trust and seek help before it gets any worse.