My live in boyfriend ...has a drug addiction. And is blowing all our money on it. he's only partially honest with me about what he dose. but he dose tell me he's not doing it on perpous or to hurt us (i have children) but at the same time refuses to get help on his own..I love him very much and i need to know how i can help him or if theres any thing i can do to force him into treatment (i'm his health care proxy) I don't want to leave him if i don't have to...
2007-10-09 08:38:47 · 4 answers · asked by ME 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your first Priority should be your children and they are not in a healthy environment. As much as you love your boyfriend you need to love your kids and yourself more. If he is not willing to get help for himself and you and your children then why are you with him? He is only thinking of himself, and the fact that he is blowing your money on drugs rather than things you may need around the house, you need to wake up and do what is best for you and your kids as hard as it may be. Call around to local drug and treatment centers see if he will go to AA or a form of AA for people with Drug abuse problems. Their has to be clinics where you live. Start searching and calling around. When you feel you have done all you can and he doesn't want to try then you need to kick him out. Think of this what if your kids accidentally get ahold of his drugs and take something? You can say they know better but if it is there lying around. What advice would you give your sister or a good friend if they came to you with this? One last thing about the money situation. Go open an account at another bank and have some of your check sent their so you have a cushion to lean on in case things get really bad. He doesn't have to know about it. You are protecting yourself.. Tell the bank you don't want any papers about your account sent home, just emails.
Good Luck
2007-10-09 08:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by Shy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is using you to support his habit.
The best thing you can do is get yourself and your kids away from him. The kids don't need to be exposed to that, and it leaves you open to violent abuse when he starts going through withdrawal.
You cannot ever trust an addict... ever!... not for one minute! All an addict cares about is his next fix. He will lie, cheat, steal to get that next fix.
He will not seek help unless he comes to the realization that he needs help, and men are notoriously stubborn about keeping their heads up their fannies. It really has to hit critical mass for him to begin to understand this. A lot of addicts will not look up until they are laying in a gutter.
By leaving him you are finally sending him the message that he is in trouble and he needs to get himself clean. All the verbal warnings in the world will not get that across to him as well as you can by packing your bags and moving out.
Next time, don't move in with a boyfriend... that is selling yourself short to a real user. At least get an engagement ring and a wedding date set first.
2007-10-09 09:16:47 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I can give you honey is that he MUSt want the help himself. You can't make him go into treatment because he'll only do it to satisfy you and most likely, he'll relapse right back into drugs. Your in a very tough situation and my heart goes out to you. You honestly have two choices:
1. As harsh as it may sound, leave him. If you can't deal with it and you and your children are suffering you don't need that in your life.
2. Help him as much as you can, encourage him to try to better himself for him.
GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-10-09 08:49:35 · answer #3 · answered by Spanish Mami 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he does not want to get any Help , then there is no hope for him and you need to forget him .
2007-10-09 09:37:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋