Please help me with my husband's 30th birthday this weekend!
2007-10-09 08:17:06 · 11 answers · asked by Mlle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, thanks for all the great lines!
2007-10-11 13:18:21 · update #1
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good ****".
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again".
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking, "Oh ****, what the hell happened?"
2007-10-09 08:20:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 1⤋
1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.
2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
4. Your back goes out but you stay home.
5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
8. When happy hour is a nap.
9. When you're on vacation and your ENERGY runs out before your money does.
10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to You, and you always hated it.
11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
21. It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
24. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
27. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
2007-10-09 08:22:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
When you have to explain what a vinyl is to a kid and the word "record" doesn't mean anything to them!!
When you say the word "Dungarees" to the kid working in Gap and they look at you like you have 3 heads and tell you they don't carry them as your staring at a wall of jeans!
You think Marilyn Monroe- everyone else thinks Anna Nichole!
You remember when Mannequins look like real people not shiney things without heads.
You remember the slap bracelet and how someone in another school almost slit there wrist and died from one.
Your teacher told you if you took drugs and babysat; you would mistake the baby for a turkey and cook it- And you believed it!
You remember when Phones didn't have buttons!
Vanilla Ice!! You know who he is!!
You think movies just came out three years ago and then are shocked to see it dated 1995!!!
2007-10-09 10:11:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
none of your younger friends know what a walkman is..
when Van Halen and Def Leppard are considered Classic Rock
you mention reaganomics as a joke and nobody gets it..or knows who Reagan is for that matter much less knowing that he was an actor
you are still wearing Esprit (girls) or Town and Country (men) surf shirts..
you actually held an 8 track in your hand or tried to explain what a record is..
you know what ribbon candy is...
you remember the Savings and Loans scandals
you still have shag carpet in either pea green, blood red or that burnt orange color.
2007-10-09 08:39:45 · answer #4 · answered by juanes addicion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
-They start showing your movies on AMC
-When they have a board game out for your decade.
-When your child knows more about iPods than you
-When you know what an LP is (and hold on to some)
-When you forget that 1997 was 10 years ago
-When your music has become elevator music
I hope that I helped
Good luck
2007-10-09 08:23:31 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It`s actually a realization of how old I really am! Thanx a lot :) I was an adult when pacman started.
2016-05-20 00:04:18 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You find out that even your birthday suit needs pressing.
2007-10-11 01:44:45 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You realize that you are the one doing the yelling at the pesky kids instead of being the pesky kid.
2007-10-09 08:22:24 · answer #8 · answered by Jim C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You think they are playing really good music in the supermarket.
2007-10-09 08:20:54 · answer #9 · answered by drshorty 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
when you need to get Viagra to get it up
2007-10-09 08:24:58 · answer #10 · answered by shorty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋