My friend recently told me she is having a relationship with another girl. I knew what was happening or knew it was going to happen (acting differently lately), but it shock that hell out of me (didn't want to believe it). She told me that they kissed (tongue), have exchanged rings (married) and touched each other. I don't know what to do, I tried to talk to her, and tell her it's wrong and sinful. She says a sin is a sin, why is it any different, that we all do is sin. She said that's it just kissing (not lesbian) and it's better then being with a guy that could get you pregnant and their not going to be doing anything (well, she has mixed messages). I told her it could lead to other things (her "friend" has done EVERYTHING, (heavy) drugs, steals, she's sucidal, cuts herself, sex, bi, "toys", rehab many times...etc.). I don't know what to do, I care a lot because she been having a hard time in her life and I don't want it to go down the drain and she's depressed. Please help, any?!
2007-10-09 08:04:33 · 31 answers · asked by scorpiontiger00 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It's not like I don't accept her, or think I'm better. Believe me. I'm not going to accept from other people's agruements why I should or why I shouldn't. Arguing won't solve the answer. Typically this was a Christian question, so if your not a Christian you're not going to understand, don't critize or answer because you're offended, I didn't ask U personally, mind ur own. I didn't ask for that. For christians, I just like to know how to expain to her why it's wrong, without hurting her, but with the truth. I know I can't make her but as Christian I stand by what God teaches us in the bible to overcome these trial and tributions. God is the the truth, the light and the word. I know that she feels bad about this, but I think she doesn't know how or what to do to get out of it. It's like once you're caught up doing something, like being a bully, it lead to other things, theft, murder, sexual assault, etc... and doesn't get better but worst. They do this because they're miserable/ungodly.
2007-10-09 08:47:40 · update #1
Wow! I can really identify with your struggle. I was shocked when a good highschool friend of mine several years later confided in me that he had chosen to enter into a homosexual lifestyle. I was depressed & cried about it off & on for several weeks.
You care so much for them that you don't want them to have to go through all that you know they inevitably will. Sadly, many people have to learn the hard way. I am still friends with him, but he has drifted away in many ways. When I do see him, I have to listen to how people he knows are dying of AIDS, how he's been viloated in one way or another, or how he wants to raise a child. It's very hard for me to listen to & not to say, "don't you want to get out of it?"
You're friend is right that sin is sin. However, the fact that we're all sinners is *not* what justifies us! We do not justify our sin by saying, "everyone is doing it." True that we all have our pet sins, that we tend to fall into, but that doesn't justify them. We struggle against them. If she's not struggling against hers, that is a sign of an unrepentant heart.
Remember that God created her (not gay, but as a human) & that Jesus died for her to take away her sin no matter what it is. In this way you remember to treat her with respect. But at the same time, she does need to hear God's Law that condemns sinners. Until she is struck to her heart with the reality of that, it doesn't do a lot of good to give her the Gospel of Christ.
Don't ever count her out. Allow her to be open with you & maybe someday she'll confide to you that she does struggle with that sin & you will be able to give her the Gospel of Christ. But be careful not to mistake grumbles about the consequences of that sin, with actual repentance. Only the Holy Spirit can work repentance in her & He does this through His Law (Ten Commandments, Ex. 20). In addition, He can use the undeniable consequences of sin to bring a person to repentance, but He does this only secondarily to His written Law. She needs to hear it, otherwise there is not much chance she will come to repentance or faith in Christ.
Think about if your friend had decided to live with a guy. Try to treat her the same as you would in this situation. You wouldn't condone it, but you wouldn't abandon her as a friend either. It's a hard balance, but ask God for strength, guidance & wisdom.
The best thing for you (you are also a sinner) is to cling to Christ as your source of forgiveness, love & patience so you can pass that on to her. Receive God's means of grace: Word (The Bible with Law & Gospel properly distinguished) & Sacrament (Holy Baptism & Holy Communion). If you're not receiving God's pure Law & Gospel yourself, you won't be able to pour it out on her. Remember that you are a sinner for whom Christ died & He gives you forgiveness, that's why you want to share it with her.
Couple of the best books I read when I was confronted with the issue were *Straight & Narrow: Compassion & Clarity in the Homosexuality Debate* by Thomas E. Schmidt, & *Counseling the Homosexual: A Compassionate and Biblical Guide for Pastors and Counselors as well as Non-Professionals and Families* by Michael R. Saia.
Don't be pulled into the falsities that "God created her that way" or that "there is nothing wrong with her". The former is tantamount to blaming God for sin & the latter is not at all compassionate, but tells her that when she has had enough of the lifestyle, there is no way out. It is a denial that condemns her to continued suffering both in an earthly sense & an eternal sense.
The "What About...Homosexuality?" pamphlet below has the Scripture you're looking for & point you to Keys Ministry which is also linked to below.
May God lead you & give you wisdom in the days ahead, through Jesus Christ our Lord & Savior. Amen.
2007-10-09 09:16:40 · answer #1 · answered by Sakurachan 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
The first thing you need to do is pray so that God touches her life and changes her and so that may God give you words when you talk to her.
You must understand one thing everyone is born in sin. God did not made your friend gay rather the sin that they where born in did.
Remember what the bible speaks in Exodus 20:5
"You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me"
This is why some kids are born with mental and physical illness or even gay.
Sin in fact is sin, but there are also consequences that come out from it. some consequences are stronger than others for some sin is stronger than others.
Love here and show Jesus Love, but don't love the sin.
in other words: help her out with all you can and talk to here as much as you can, but don't except the fact that she is gay.
don't pay attention to what people say about this makes you judgmental for it doesn't. a lot of people don't even know what judging is, for you are not judging a burglar when you tell him stealing from other people is bad. or your not judging a killer when you tell him killing people is bad. so the same gose for you: you are not judging your friend when you tell her being gay is a sin (bad).
I see that other people have also posted some bible verses so I won't post them, but do remember one thing:
The reason being gay is a sin is because it goes against the creation of God which is marriage.God gave his commandment on how marriage should be and anything that disobeys his commandments is a sin.
Pray, let God take control, believe and smile for God is always with you.
Good luck.
2007-10-09 08:58:40 · answer #2 · answered by El Compadre 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The best thing you can do is be supportive. It does sound like this particular girl could be a very bad influence, so focus on that if you are concerned. However, there is nothing wrong with being gay, having sex, or using "toys." Don't be a typical Christian and drive your friend into suicide by refusing to accept her as she is.
And lay off the "homosexuality is a sin" bs.
I'm serious, though, be supportive. She doesn't need one more person telling her she is worthless, going to hell, doing everything wrong, and/or not good enough. Whoever she is, it's up to her to figure it out, NOT YOU. If you are a real friend, her sexual preference should mean nothing.
2007-10-09 08:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 4⤋
I have read Homer, Hesiod, Herodotus and Plato in translation (each of which contains referances/teachings about the Gods). I also have a copy of the Aeneid as well as a copy of the Popal Vuh. I also have the 2-volume set of Robert Graves' "The Greek Myths", Kerenyi's "Gods of the Greeks", and Frank Waters "Book of the Hopi" on my shelves. In the past I have studied Norse and Egyptian mythology.
2016-04-07 23:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your friend, really love her and are a good friend you will accept her just the way she is and not attempt to change her.
If she is a homosexual its a gene and nothing that is changeable so all the preaching in the world is not going to change her. And that is not wrong or bad. She is a beautiful human being who has found a love and you should respect that and be happy for her.
Okay so her love is not a perfect person. Who is? Perhaps she will help this person to become a better person. Love has been known to do this.
Be a friend to your friend, be there to lend an ear of a shoulder if she needs it. But thats all. Love her, support her, be her friend.
Blessings, light and love
Aviana
2007-10-09 08:16:48 · answer #5 · answered by aviana_snowwolfe 3 · 3⤊ 4⤋
I think if her partner is doing those kinds of things, then yes, she does need to have a good talk. But I think you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. You assert that she's being "wrong and sinful" like she's supposed to change or something.
Lesbians are lesbians, and I highly doubt you're going to talk them out of it just by threatening sin and hell. I think you need to tell her that she should be aware to stay away from those things (drugs, stealing, unprotected sex, etc) and not be influenced by her partner to make a bad choice. If she's really your friend, she'll understand. But please, don't go around preaching about how god hates homosexuals. That's the kind of hate and bigotry that causes people to lose friends.
2007-10-09 08:12:35 · answer #6 · answered by Uliju 4 · 6⤊ 4⤋
You are the one with the problems, because anyone that would let the Bible completely control their life has something wrong in their head. Your friend is Christian too but obviously, she hasnt let the Bible control her life so completely, and now look how happy she is. You on the other hand, your life is dictated by a book and you are miserable.
So give your friend a break *****
2007-10-09 08:18:24 · answer #7 · answered by TEN 1 · 3⤊ 3⤋
Pray for your friend. There are some good bible quotes people have given. You are right to worry about her. If you pray (and even fast a few meals) God will help you and her.
2007-10-09 13:49:54 · answer #8 · answered by rico459 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The girl is a mess. You can help if you stop judging her for her sexual preference.
The hymn for this occasion is "Just As I Am, Without One Plea." Sing it. Then remember that you don't need to judge, that's God's privilege.
It seems that her depression and hard time in life are the problems. Can you focus on helping with that and encouraging her to stay away from drugs?
If you can't get past your hangup about her sexual choice, then you won't do anything positive.
2007-10-09 08:14:15 · answer #9 · answered by noname 7 · 4⤊ 4⤋
How about that you love her no matter what she chooses to do even though u don't agree. And that you think the girl might be a bad call for her no matter what her sexuality is. Then just be there for her for the fallout in her relationship when it come.
Your her friend, not her god, don't judge her.
2007-10-09 08:11:41 · answer #10 · answered by blkqueen075 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋
A sin would be not following the teachings of Jesus, and acting in a loving way towards your friend. After all, God created her to be LGBT, and chose her life - who would question God's judgement?
I think the actions that need to be taken mainly involve searching yourself for this anti-LGBT bigotry you seem to be evidencing. Where did this come from?
If you "care a lot," you will get to the root of the problem, and look in the mirror.
We will pray for you to return to the light and Jesus' teachings.
2007-10-09 08:08:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 3⤋