How do i get the spark back.....?

Question

Sex with my bf has always been great, but when i put on a bit of weight over the years he made it clear that i wasnt 'physically attractive' to him anymore. Although this is a problem for me because i love him and ofcourse want to make him happy, i know i am not physically repulsive and part of me prefers my look now. Because of this though i feel incredible insecure in the bedroom, and i dont feel i can satisfy him as well as i used to, because at the end of the day it all comes down to confidence, and i just dont have it around him because i know how he feels...(yes he has voiced it.)
What can i do?

Answer 1

You can't do anything really but talk seriously to him about his issues with not truly loving you. Its the truth, your running into the reality of the situation, that it was never really about who you are, but what you have to offer, and your failing. He feels that, you feel that, its brecking apart. It shouldn't by the very merit of love he should of talk to you about it in such away that it has nothing to do with your sexual attractiveness but your physical well-being. If he can't see it that way, its because he doesn't care to, your job is to look good, do your job, and know your role. No room for true love, no room for change, so now your feeling the reality, that the fact is you can't be good on your own merit, you have to earn it, good luck on this one.... YOU could confront him seriously about whats really going on because its only shallow social stadards that say that you need to look one way to be in love. In truth it doesn't matter, remember love is that strong right? So a woman with the man who lovers her doesn't have to worry about this. A woman trying to be with a man that tolerates her, would..... just painting the picture... Just so you know the best sex I ever had wasn't with some beautiful lady, She had 2 kids, was over wieght, had no teeth, but was the sweetest woman I ever known, and she top all the cute little highschool girls I got frecky with in my younth, because of one big factor, I loved her so..... of course she was cute, now I can't stand ugly, lol, but she was cutie.... 5year friendship, no commentment, deep story their, but love hunnie is the spice he is missing..... and so are you....