my father left when I was 5 i thought about him sometimesbut not often. And now my daughter cries for her father and I start balling what's going on ?
2007-10-09 07:13:08 · 12 answers · asked by * SalLyRokz * 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Unresolved issues with your father.
As a child you probably convinced yourself that his departure was somehow YOUR FAULT.
Perhaps you believed that if you had been a better daughter then he wouldn't have left.
By nature children are selfish beings. There's nothing wrong with that, it's more of a survival instinct than a poor character trait. Children view the world as revolving around them, so they tend to feel that when anything bad happens to them, that it's their fault.
Of course as we advance towards adulthood we gradually outgrow most of these beliefs, UNLESS we somehow get stuck. For example: A child who loses contact with her father at the age of 5 has her emotional development with that man halted at AGE 5.
If before about age 7 your situation had allowed a new father figure to enter into your life, & he had been enough of a nurturer to have helped you resolve any or most of your issues with your father, & had remained in your life as a successful substitute father figure, then maybe you wouldn't be going through what you are experiencing now.
Your daughter crying for her father is what is known as a "trigger" for the emotions that you are experiencing.
I hope that you will take the time to do as much research as you can about the relationships between daughters, & their fathers. You may want to consider entering into some professional councelling.
I am no expert, but I think you may find that you would benefit best from a form of therapy known as "re-parenting".
Take Care! ;-)
2007-10-09 07:50:20 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter crying for her father is probably bringing back repressed memories of the few times you wished your daddy was there and he wasn't. Or maybe that you realize your daughter is living your childhood by also not having a father figure in her life. Start thinking about it everytime you cry and maybe you can pin point why your upset and if it's something you can fix then do it and if it's something that just has to take it's time and go through the cycle then that's what you have to let it do. It's sounds more to be an emotional thing cause you can relate yourself to your daughter and why she is crying for her daddy to be there cause you have been that child once upon a time. Why was you dad not part of your life? Has he passed on? Is he still alive and well somewhere? If he is alive maybe this is a sign for you that it's time to try to make amends with him and have a father figure in your life and a grandfather in your daughters.
2007-10-09 07:20:32 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my father when i was 6, so i can relate. We all need our fathers in this life, and if we don't get his attention growing up we will often go look for it somewhere else. There will always be an empty spot inside our souls, this is why you are crying in my opinion.
2007-10-09 07:27:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be because of the reason you mentioned about not having Your Own Father after the age of 5 and if it hurt you then as well as now, now that you have your own daughter and she herself is experiencing the same or simular type of feelings, I bet you feel that it it hurts you more "FOR YOUR DAUGHTER" and what's she's going thru more so than for yourself. You missed your father as your daughter is missing hers.
2007-10-09 08:54:23 · answer #4 · answered by Dub-G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never grieved for the loss of your father. I had the same problem when mine were little and got to be around the age I was when my father died. Spend some time, maybe some counseling to come to terms with your anger, grief and feelings of abandonment, it'll only help.
2007-10-09 07:21:00 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said your father, then you said your daughter ? Im confused.
But its probably her age thats wanting a complete parent atmosphere.
2007-10-09 07:16:20 · answer #6 · answered by Princess3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you were young you didn't have a father figuare. You never got to experience having a dad.
2007-10-09 07:17:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have some unresolved feelings of your own dealing with your father....children will bring those feeling out.
2007-10-09 07:19:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you never got over him leaving and when your daughter cries it brings back the pain-full memory
2007-10-09 07:17:17 · answer #9 · answered by kev l 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a disease in teens where they yearn for more attention. It's caused because the parents haven't payed enough attention to them or appreciated their actions.
2007-10-09 07:28:21 · answer #10 · answered by Help and Helper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋