How do you deal with snide comments?

Question

I'm 17 years old and started an excerise and fitness college course just over a month ago. I'm getting horrible remarks because i'm not able to keep up with the practical work (excercise). I'm a recovering anorexic, my BMI is still classed as 'underweight'. Although i've put on a lot of weight since i've got better, and getting nearer to the 'average' mark, it's left me with a lot of health problems and has damaged my insides. So I find cardio work very hard. I often have to step to one side, and the girls make snide comments that i'm lazy, and moan to my tutor that she's letting me get away without doing any work. I'm pretty sure my tutor thinks i'm lazy too. My tutor and classmates dont know about my 'condition', and I don't want to tell them because i'm trying to move on. I go out running everyday at my own pace so I can gradually get fitter, so i'm trying my best. But no one sees it that way. What should I do about the critism i'm getting?

Answer 1

I think you need to have a chat with your tutor about your physical condition. Naturally the cardio work is very hard, you are a recovering anorexic, although I suspect from what you say that your tutor may be aware that there is some else up with you and is waiting for you to say so.

I know you don't want to tell people in general, but I think that your tutor needs to know about this. While you were sick with anorexia, you put your inner organs, including your heart, under severe strain, and you need time to recover from this. I feel very strongly that your tutor should know about your condition. I know you feel that by keeping it to yourself you are 'moving on', but you'd be surprised at who has suffered from eating disorders in the past, and people like your tutor would be aware of the long-term effects of such disorders. I think that your tutor is likely to be very supportive and will be able to advise you.

As for the others, you needn't worry about them. You needn't tell them anything if you don't want to. Naturally your tutor shouldn't say anything to them either without your permission.

Don't forget too that taking a rest is also an important part of getting fit. Why don't you just take one day a week off from the running? It will give your body a chance to rest and recover better.

Best of luck with it. It seems like you're determined to tackle your issues in a very dynamic way.

Answer 2

It's obvious you're doing exceptionally well - recovering from anorexia takes a massive amount of physical & psychological strength, so while others are putting you down - give yourself a star! You say you go running every day though, could this be tiring you out more than necessary? It's important not to push yourself too hard; beating anorexia is about maintaining balance.

While you don't want to discuss things with your tutor or class-mates, it really would be helpful all round if you could talk to your tutor and maybe just one or two of your class-mates - when people understand, they're usually more sensitive. Your disclosure might even help others in your class/school speak-out about their own eating disorders.

We can't run away from our past; we must confront the past with the reality of what we are today and what we hope for the future - we can't successfully achieve this whilever our past is shrouded in fear & mystery. Yes, some may use your past against you, just as some make snide remarks, but when the truth is out, you'll find many will admire your courage and strength of character. Then, you will have completed the last stage of moving on; it's often when we feel at our weakest point that we're closest to acheiving our goals.

Answer 3

If you are underweight, your tutor should know her job, and realise there is a problem, and not have you working out so much. She also needs to know about any illnesses from anyone on the course, so any problems can be sorted. When you tell her, mention you feel undermined by the other girls. She will not mention you are anorexic, but may mention you have been unwell, so are not able to keep up at the moment.

It seems you are doing too much too soon, getting fitter after an illness can take time, so your tutor will probably advise you to cut out the running for the time being, as you tire easily.

Answer 4

I'm more concerned about your health in this question than the comments. You are obviously working out pretty intensely. You run everyday and you do this class, too. Do you eat enough calories to support all this work? If you are recovering, you need to take it easy. Like you said, you have damaged your organs with this disease. I think it is extremely important that you tell your tutor. Your tutor needs to be aware of your limitations. He/she needs to watch you carefully. Maybe even create a completely different exercise program for you. Screw the wenches who talk about you behind your back. Be concerned with you. And only you. :)

Answer 5

You should definitely tell your tutor. Doing so won't prevent you from moving on, it will help you to move on, because you'll be acknowledging that there really is a problem and discussing it in an adult way with your tutor. If the tutor doesn't know the situation then she can't help you to succeed.

Answer 6

human beings commonly are aggravated at what sounds like thoughtless behaviour. human beings have distinctive stamina stages, and for various reasons. For a commence, they could appreciate you for that besides, whether or not they understand you was once anorexic or not. additionally, it may be slightly jealous as (to not sound offensive) you're in all likelihood slightly thinner than they're, that could probably be making them experience great in assessment. i don't think of you may tell them approximately your 'situation' except you experience the could, it is comprehensible which you do not prefer to tell them - and that's rather wonderful. the final thank you to pass approximately coping with them is to objective and forget approximately approximately them, a million/2 of the reason they're doing it extremely is to get interest from you and to make certain a reaction. they're only being insensitive and bitchy - do not enable that get you down. I do performing Arts and it is particularly some actual paintings too, and that i've got low blood tension, making me feint if I do too plenty paintings, yet on the beginning up i could not do very plenty in any respect, and something of the class constantly pronounced it to the instructor. i assume I solved this via letting human beings understand that I had a difficulty - besides the indisputable fact that it's not the only thank you to sparkling up it.

Answer 7

Well if i were you i'd tell them the truth and then maybe i could move on a little better it would certainly make them understand the situation more if they knew why. If you don't wish to tell them thats upto you just keep on with the good work your doing for yourself, you sound like you have come a long way so keep it up you'll get there and well done x x x

Answer 8

You don't have to tell your tutor why you were ill, just tell him you were ill for a very long time and are trying to recover and don't want to go into detail. The tutor should be understanding of the situation.

Answer 9

Ignore with a smile & walk away. If there are some there who don't criticise, go & talk to them. The criticisers should soon realise their comments are unnecessary, ignored, & leave off.
Just think of them as not understanding the situation - they are in ignorance, so it's not worth taking their comments seriously. In the end they will admire you for perseverance and give you respect. Good luck, & keep on keeping on!

Answer 10

Tell you tutor about you conditions. This is so sad, you shouldn't let these girls get away with it. Talk to these girls, they may understand, if they don't you could choose to be in another fitness course.