Ladies put urself in her shoes and fellas in mine...what would u do different and what would u be thinking?

Question

ok my ex ( i know another ex question but hold on) dumped me 4 months ago and we were still hanging out about 10 days after the break up then i cut all contact with her b/c it just hurt me to be around her...we dated for 3 years 9 months and im only 19 so that was all my high school...anyways i told her that i didn’t want to talk to her anymore, when she asked me y i was ignoring her and i told her i didn't want her in my life for now. she got a new b/f not even 2 weeks after the break up, and they are still together. But the other day she came on msn (witch i deleted her from and she’s been trying to get me to talk to her this whole time we broke up) she asked if we could talk and i told her 2 move on with her new b/f and there was no reason for us to talk and she said this and i quote ...' i NEED you' and she told me she was crying talking about it and that she really missis me and wants to c me, I told her that she didn’t NEED me she wants it and there’s a big difference...and the reason now that she gave me for the break up was that she thought i gave up on the relationship, and i didn’t. The break up really effected me for the first 6 weeks...so wut im asking wut do u think she means by this behavior....does she only want me there as a friend? does she want get back together? is she just playing head games with me? and i do love her and i KNOW she still loves me and i might be able to look past all this drama and give it another shot but wut do u guys think? THANKS FOR UR TIME

and one last thing do u think she's only interested in friendship or in a relationship? cuz when her n her new b/f first started dating they were always together now she's with him but not nearly as often..thanks again

Answer 1

SHES A GAME PLAYER!!!!

flee the scene... its not worth the drama

Answer 2

Heres my advise, I have been with the same woman for 10 yrs, we have been married now for 4 yrs. I am only 26 and she is 23. At one point, we had the same problem. All you need to do is make sure the wounds from the break up are not still looming in your heart. Then find a way to be her friend. I am pretty sure even if she does not want you at all, she knows that you are the only person in this world that knows her. Be her friend, and see where that takes you. Who knows you may get lucky like me and end up Happily Married.

My experience with this is that me and my now wife broke, up for a few months, I had moved on and so did she, I had a old friend from highschool that I kept around, and she had one as well after a few months, we had no contact. One night while I was getting ready for my new girl friend to come over so we could spend some time together, my now wife shows up at the door. We talk, and sort of get back together. The killing part the girlfriend sex was the best I ever had in life, but I choose my now wife because, the first time we saw each other then looked into each others eyes, something shot threw me and it was if time stood still, and god smiled on me, and said that is your wife, the one you prayed for. So all I am saying is that give it time, have patience and see where it goes. Life is full of heartbreaks but every now and then, the universe smiles on you and makes it all worth it. Peace out, my gamer tag for xbox live on 360 is x SNOW MAN 318 x. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Sometimes people become so attached to their girlfriend or boyfriend that they will break up and get back together a lot. This is because they form their whole identity around the person. That kind of sounds like what your girlfriend did. She NEEDS you because she can't be the person that she's become without you. Maybe she based her whole identity around you. I don't know why she dumped you, but I think you would probably be hurt again. However, because she got a boyfriend so quickly after breaking up with you, that could be because she NEEDS to be with SOMEONE, or she was just mad that she had broken up with you and was trying to make you jealous or something like that so you would ask to get back with her. I don't know too much about your situation. Hope this helps you out.

Answer 4

You made a great choice by deciding to cut all contact with her. It isn't right for her to break up with you but still want you around for emotional support basically. Once you were actually gone, that's when she was able to realize what it's really like without you.

I'd say you need to flat out ask her to find if she's wanting you back as a friend, aka. emotional crutch, or does she really want what you all used to have. If it's the latter then I'd say give it a try. She of course would have to cut off contact with the other guy, sucks for him but that's the risk he took being a rebound guy.

But I definitely wouldn't go back if she wants you back as friend. Like you said that's just too painful and if she really cared she wouldn't ask you to endure that, just so she can feel better.

Answer 5

My parents were not religious at all either. They didn't believe in anything. They never went to church. I never gave God a thought one way or another. But once I became an adult and saw my first child, I knew their had to be something. My Grandmother was a Baptist and I tried going to church with her but as I read the Bible on my own, I could see they did not teach the truth. They mainly wanted money from the people. I tried a few more religions with the same result. So, what I am trying to say, even if you were brought up with no religion at all, you can still learn about God. But you have to have an interest in knowing whether there is or is not a God. But being brought up in an atheist home has nothing to do with your decision not to believe in God. That is your choice. You know people who believe in God and if you were even the least bit curious, you would try to find out if he is real or not.

Answer 6

I think you are in the right for moving on. I just think that at one point she may have been regretting the break up but I wouldn't try to push her. Distance in your case is probably the best policy considering she hurt you. If you are ready for the time to talk to her I would but I think right now she is missing you and the relationship you used to have and just wants to be friends. She "needs" you because you filled an emotional void and maybe her "new" boyfriend dosen't give that to her. I would go with your heart on this one. Good Luck.

Answer 7

well 4 year with another person is a long time and I am pretty sure its not so easy to just not have any feelings for the other person. As far as her intentions, you both really need to sit down and talk it out and get everything on the table. We can speculate all day where she is coming from but you will not know for sure until you two talk it out, like adults, and come to a conclusion.

Answer 8

well i've been here before and it sounds like she loves you but is young and wants to try seeing other people, but is scared to or b/c shes afraid she might lose you. if i were you i'd stay single for a while longer b/c sometimes if you met young but never get the chance to explore you end making each other a security blanket. then its like your not in love but you stay b/c your use to it. so let her go for a while so you both can see what you truly want. if she got a BF that quick after break up...... it shows that she wants to explore and try something new even though she may still miss you and love you.

Answer 9

I'm guessing that she broke up with her new boyfriend and she wants to get back with you because she doesn't want to be alone. It sounds like a rebound gesture to me. I think you did the right thing by breaking it off and encouraging her to move on with her life. I think it's wise of you to recognize the difference between needing someone and wanting someone. Make sure that you ask yourself the same question about her.

Answer 10

Sounds like she regrets breaking up with you. But she can't have two boyfriends. She has to pick one. Tell her if she wants you back she has to break off completely with her bf. That is, if you even want her back. Maybe you should just try to meet other girls. There are a lot out there.

Answer 11

okay i broke up with this kid after 3 months, and we he still liked me, still does to this day, 8 months later.
we were tlaking and supposed to go back out again like 2 weeks ago.
hes trying to forget about me because i told him we couldnt go out.
i still value his friendship but i realized that whole time i was playing headgames. now he doesnt want to be my friend from the pain i caused.
so what i think is that she is playing games with you and you should tell her to stop because it wont help anyone in the long run...you value her friendship i can tell so keep it strictly that, and if things work out so you are still talking and you do still love her, thenit was meant to be.