I attended a funeral for my boyfriends nephew, although I arrived alone and stood at the back, so I didn't see any of the family. It was an Indian funeral, and as I've never been to one before I didn'y know what to expect. After standing in a line to do something, I was told to walk to the other side of the room, I assumed it was to stand in another line. I didn't realise until I passed my boyfriend that it was to acknowledge the family, and I had walked past them all. Is it worth an apology when I see the family, or better not to bring it up?
2007-10-09 05:29:05 · 28 answers · asked by sarahpaul82 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I wouldn't apologise.
2007-10-09 05:32:05 · answer #1 · answered by elizadushku 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Aww poor thing! I really feel for you because I have been in this situation loads of times before. My husband is Indian and we have been together for 17 years and I'm still unsure of what to do sometimes!!! Don't worry about it chick- just mention it to your boyfriend and explain you were unsure of what to do and I'm sure he'll pass this onto his family, who in turn won't blame you. Indian ceremonies such as weddings and funerals are so different to ours and if you've never been to them before there is no way you will know the etiquette so don't worry chick.
2007-10-09 05:43:41 · answer #2 · answered by Sunshine Smile 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! you didn't know what you should have had to do, it was up to your boyfriend to have told you what to expect and put you right about it, how was you to know what a Indian funeral was like.
2007-10-09 05:55:21 · answer #3 · answered by Baz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should apologize in a manner that makes you look guilty of something -- because you didn't know what you were doing -- but when the opportunity presents itself I would tell the head-of-the-family person (mom, dad, etc...) that you were embarressed and that you're "sorry" you didn't know the tradition.
2007-10-09 05:42:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see what the big deal is. It was a mis-understanding. If you feel you know them well enough and you feel comfortable enough to discusss it, then by all means, mention it and explain you were not aware of the etiquette. A grovelling apology is not necessary. A courteous explanation is fine.
2007-10-09 05:35:46 · answer #5 · answered by baby_face_paris 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i believe its up to you and how guilty and bad u feel about the situation. i dont know why the family would hold it against you when you were not familiar with the funeral. but i dont think it would hurt to apologize, maybe you will feel better
2007-10-09 05:42:10 · answer #6 · answered by sweetcheeks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just explain the confusion to your boyfriend it's done now so it's probably best not to bring it up with the family & it aint really your fault we don't know everyones tradtion do we!?.
2007-10-09 05:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by on-point 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need to apologise. The family should have acknowledged your presence and thanked you for coming. It's their fault, not yours.
2007-10-09 07:26:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you mention to your boyfriend that you meant no insult, that you were not aware of Indian customs and had no idea of what to do. The fact that you attended shows respect for the family.
2007-10-09 05:33:57 · answer #9 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I think your boy friend should be the one to apologise. He should of informed you what was about to go on before you went to the funeral.
2007-10-09 05:34:41 · answer #10 · answered by doris 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes you should apologise to your boyfriend and to the family, saying how you came to misunderstand the procedure.
2007-10-09 05:38:37 · answer #11 · answered by focus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋