Is this normal?

Question

my 6 year old son is actually a very soft hearted, sweet, caring little guy but he's usually so hyper. If he doesnt get his way (like going outside to play or what have you) he throws a fit. Sometimes his fits are to the point that he will slam doors-his mouth gets out of hand also. He doesnt cuss but he will definately talk back. He is constantly climbing on the furniture and doesnt really give me all of his attention very often. HIs mind seems like its running a million miles a minute. I am a young mother. I had him at age 17. I dont know if its my easy going parenting or if my son may have adha as my little brother had it and I didnt know what I should do. I dont want to see my son on medication and drugged up like my brother, but I want to do the best for him. Do I just need to be more disciplining and strict? He listens to his dad well. But not me-its like he doesnt take me too seriously

I am now 23 years old with a 19month old boy also

Answer 1

Children save their "behaviors" for the person they trust most in the world. I would bet that is you. My son was very similar at that age; any frustration through the course of the day seemed to come out as soon as he was with me. There may be some issues with ADHD, but don't panic. Talk to your doctor and his teacher; find out what the teacher observes, and what the doctor recommends. You don't necessarily need to be more strict, but remember consistency is very important to kids this age. Set very clear limits and expectations, and lay out rewards and consequences so he understands. Stick to a consistent routine whenever possible. Make sure he knows in no uncertain terms what you expect of him, what his responsibilities are, what behaviors will be tolerated... be patient - changes don't happen over night! If you do suspect ADHD, talk to your doctor about options. Medications have changed dramatically, and don't have to cause major personality changes. Best of luck!

Answer 2

I agree with the person who mentioned that if your son IS listening to his dad well, it demonstrates he has the capacity. ADHD is not controllable like that. If it was ADHD the behaviours would likely be universal to both you AND his dad.

Your comment that you wonder if you need to be more disciplining and strict leads me to think that you have already considered that discipline might be the issue here. You did not provide a lot of detail on that front, but I will offer a (some) suggestion(s) on the issue of discipline.

Sometimes it's not about how strict or lenient the discipline is - it's about everybody being on the same page. If your son listens better to dad than you it sounds like the two of you are not necessarily unified in your discipline techniques. You may need to sit down with dad and come up with a plan together about how to handle the behaviours.....set limits, set consequences for his inappropriate behaviours (I know you've probably heard that TONS of times) but the most important thing is that BOTH you and dad impose the SAME consequences.....and that you both FOLLOW through with the conseqencing every....single....time!!!! AND.....that you back each other up even if you mess up. If your son senses that mom and dad are not on the same page he will quickly figure out which parent will let him get away with more.

Easier said than done. Many parents don't like to compromise on their parenting styles - both feel they know the *best* way and don't want to try anything else. Hopefully the both of you can work together on a strategy for your son. Even if it turns out not to be the issue, you will be stronger team-parents for it.

Answer 3

No. Not sick. Or ADHD. Impulsiveness(or should I say poor impulse), scarce attention span, and lack of better judgement is normal for a kid. All kids are like that. I used to lash out, slam doors, have fits, and even punch holes in walls when I was younger-it was mostly because of intolerable parents, but still. And I didn't have any "ADHD".

And try removing excess processed foods, sugar or dairy or wheat to see if there's any improving. Sometimes an allergy to those can cause these things too. That, and environmental toxins.

Better discipline and strict, and teach him basic principles, rules, allowing others to have their fair turn or choice of activity. And get dad to enforce discipline as well, if he relates better to him. He probably respects his authority more. That, with you, make it consistent for both. And seek constructive ways to manage anger for him. I don't know if anger management works at that age...

Reinforce discipline, but be reasonable in punishment in that no one is subject to physical violence and the kid knows what he did wrong and should be prepared to accept the consequences without further conflict.

ADHD drugs does nothing to cure anything but to suppress the symptoms of hyperactivity which can be attributed to other environmental or health causes. Many ADHD drugs is a derivative of amphetamine, and essentially robs a child of mind and soul, leaving nothing but a hollow shell as a zombie drone. If you were wondering...

Answer 4

You say that he listens to dad, so I take it from that statement that dad has no problem applying discipline.
Please do not fall for the ADHD scam and medicate this child into a zombie. He is only testing his limits and it would seem from your question that 'dad' sets limits and 'mom' does not.

Set limits on everything, the furniture, the backtalk, slamming doors, temper tantrums..everything. Tell him that there will be specific punishment for each offense and then carry through.
At 6, he is old enough for swats for serious offenses like backtalk or deliberate disobedience. Time outs or take away toys/tv/computer time/etc for more minor things.

He WILL cry and howl and maybe even "cuss" a little, but you must stand firm and make him mind you.

This is normal normal normal and the boy needs only some guidance, not doctors and meds.

Answer 5

You just need to discipline him more and let him know that he will not always get what he wants when he wants. Ways to do this is to place him in time out where there is nothing he can mess with, send him to his room but remove all toys and if he slams the door also remove that temporarily if necessary. Also check and school to see if teacher hands a candy a reward or treat. You just need to be strict because based on what you wrote he listens to dad and not mom he is taking the advantage of walking over you. try this if it continues talk with a school guidance consuler and you may need to get him tested for adha.

Answer 6

I work at a school and all the boys this age are very active on the playground, chasing, hitting, throwing balls etcetera. However, no little boy should disrespect his mother; and if you say he's very sweet and considerate sometimes then goes sort of crazy sometimes too maybe it's something you should discuss with his pediatrician. Maybe he's not getting a vitamin or mineral that is necessary for a growing child?? Is he in school? Does he have behavior problems at school or is it only at home with you? He is probably testing you...wants to see how much foolishness you will put up with. But if you don't give in he'll eventually see he's wasting his time. Tho' you have to tell your little guy in a little heart-to-heart conversation that you dislike his behaviour when he yells and slams doors. if he's caring and such if you tell him it makes your heart sad to see him yelling and carrying on etcetera perhaps he will calm down a bit everytime you remind him or show him your sad face when he starts stomping around. Have you asked him if he just feels upset or is he mad at you or Is he bored when he starts these fits? Does he miss daddy when these fits begin? Can you call his father and let them have a few moments on the phone? I know it sounds like reaching out for assistance, but if that what he says he wants then maybe it would solve your problem? If he has all that extra energy to run round the house stomping his feet and slamming doors then maybe you can put him to work sweeping the floors or something easy, collecting all the dirty laundry, or tidying up his room perhaps. I used to do that too when I thought my mother's rules were unfair and she'd have me stay in my room for a while but she would take away one thing like a tv or a stereo so it was less fun. If he knows there are consequences for acting this way then he's going to learn the punishment follows the fit he pulls or else he's going to be happy and fun loving more often.
Depending on your family maybe all of you need to sit down and talk about proper behaviour in your home and what "dad and mom" expect of a young man of 6 years old. Then lay it out for him what the consequence will be for any more tantrums or fits or yelling for no good reason. But give him the opportunity to ask questions or state his own opinions too. And let him know how you feel about playing loud games with a little bit of loud voices but stomping and yelling and everything is what you dislike.
Good luck and be well.

Answer 7

I have the exact problem with my 6 year old daughter exactly and i had her when i was 16 and now i am 23 i cant take it anymore.i will never put her on meds ever i was on them and it sucked i would hate to have to give up on her because that is what you would be doing taking the easy way out,i feel we did something wrong somewher down the 6 year path and i bet it has alot to do with spoiling them.My husband thinks she needs a sibling and she would be better but im not too sure.She does bad in scholl bad letters at least once a wek saying she is not focused and talks alot and she comes home hyper as can be like they pumped her full of sugar.That is it too disipline is so important and we have been doing that more like you have to earn your things back and she has been trying.She listens to her dad too but runs right over me.Good luck because we are gonna need it.

Answer 8

My daughter is the same way. When she is acting out, we have calm down time. Sometimes kids just get overwhelmed by everything going on around them. We stop and have a snack at the kitchen table together or read a book together. When he acts up, try giving him your attention. Alot of times, that is what kids are after. As far as discipline, I have a wooden spoon. You do what I have asked you to do, if you don't, you have until the count of three, then you are getting the spoon. This works, I have never actually had to use the spoon. Good luck, I hope this helps.

Answer 9

He listens to his dad very well, so i dont think- i pretty sure he doesnt have adha. you can get him checked out in case. be more strict with him. for example if he is throwing a fit just ignore him by walking away. that the problem he isnt taking you seriously. inforce more rules and greater punishment. that showed be the answer to straightening him out. and dont be afraid to take your hand to his back side every once in a while. its not abuse its parenting. if you dont spank then there are alternative methods like taking away what he loves like his favorite toys and so on. happy parenting.

Answer 10

well it might be that his dad is more demanding and means business.. or he might have adhd.. my best friends little boy is the same way.. he is so soft hearted but has his temper fits and can get pretty wild.. but she had him tested just bc she didnt want anyone thinking he was a bad kid and didnt want him getting into alot of trouble at school. so she had him tested and he is adhd.. they can give you meds for it.. it wont dope him up or anything.. i hate it when parents dont do whats right for there kids.. just bc they think its embarrassing to say that he had adhd.. i would rather admit it to myself and get him help than let him get made fun of and noone want him around.. cause he really is a sweet little boy.. GOOD LUCK and i would at least get him tested.. at least you would know..