I've had lots of boyfriends before, and it never bothered them that our relationships were mostly physical, but they never lasted long. Now there's this guy that I think I could really spend the rest of my life with, but I don't know how to change. We've already gotten "physical" but i don't want to have this relationship end like the rest have. I'm not a sult, but I do enjoy stuff-how do you balance it out? also-we spend alot of time talking but because he is stationed like 10 hours away, we don't see each other very often-advice? please?
2007-10-09 05:16:36 · 7 answers · asked by tammykay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My previous relationships were physical, but i'd only "gone to bed" with one other
2007-10-09 05:28:54 · update #1
It is going to be a challenge for you to change because of your past relationships. We tend to fall into a cycle sometimes with respect to relationships, and that cycle can prove to be difficult to break. But it can be done!
A large barrier in your current relationship is the fact that you are so far apart and don't see each other very often. But this can also be a good thing, because like you say you two talk a lot. That is awesome! I would try to make sure that the time you do spend with him spent wisely, doing things together you both enjoy. It should be quality time. Of the time you are together, a very very small percentage of it should be sex. The reason for this is that then your relationship will build itself on the things have done and experienced together and the emotional bond you are gaining with him, and not based soley on sex. I think the reason why all your past relationships haven't is because they were based largely on sex. Sex is great early on in a relationship, but that wears off. Sex should be something that enhances the relationship, but not something that defines it. If you truley thing he is the one for you, try and put your emphasis on gaining that emotional bond.
If you have any questions, shoot me an email!
2007-10-09 05:27:42 · answer #1 · answered by cagewalker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. Take a chance and tell him what you just told all of us. Let him know that you really like him and think the relationship has potential to be something special and long term. if he doesn't bolt, then you guys have a chance.
Since you can't un-ring a bell, it will be nearly impossible to stop the physical part of your relationship now, but you can put your focus and energy into getting to know each other better and seeing if something is there besides attraction. Go out on dates, do stuff together, meet each other's friends, see if you have common interests and goals. Because those are the things that keep people together long term.
But above all, be honest and true to yourself. If you want a real relationship, then settle for nothing else. If your guy doesn't want the same. Thank him for his honesty and move on.
2007-10-09 05:31:53 · answer #2 · answered by aibnyc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TammyKay best thing is to sit down together an put all your feelings out on the table. Let him know that you are in this relationship for more then just the physical aspects and want much more then strictly sex. In the past it sounds like that is all your partners wanted. You may have started to develop the reputation of being a bit loose and may indeed have a difficult time finding someone who is interested in you as you. But if you are honest with this fella then he will know that you are not just a bedspread and want much more from this relationship. Hopefully you are both on the same page and can create a meaningful and long lasting relationship. The distance should not be a factor providing you both care for one and other and want the same things. Best of luck.
2007-10-09 05:24:18 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Society so concern on such relationship because your husband should be the you turn to when you having whatever problems. Bu this is your life. . Just ignore what society or other people said as long as you know your boundary with the other person. At the end, when push come to shove, how many of them will step forward and give you helping hand?
2016-05-19 23:06:39 · answer #4 · answered by eva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does this mean u had gone to bed with ur other bfs?///i dont knw.Urs seems to be a pretty complicated situation.But u must be attractive if u've had so many bfs..I think u shld try TO ATTRACT Your long-lastingg relationship.I think u know what i mean!
2007-10-09 05:26:02 · answer #5 · answered by kewl me! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think first of all you need to stop giving it up so easyly even it you like it, because guy's see that and they will try to use it as an advantage.
2007-10-09 05:21:17 · answer #6 · answered by Talisha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try using other idea which u treat ur others BF.
as they r the past,
n dun easily give him what he want on bed.
this makes him think that u r the easy hooker.
2007-10-09 05:20:50 · answer #7 · answered by devilkid1068 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋