Well, its really my nephew but he lives with us. In a few weeks we will be moving and we broke the news to him last night, he's 6. We always have problems getting him up in the morning but today was worse then normal. Usually when I go to get him up for school he whines a little and drags himself to the bathroom. This morning, he refused to get out the bed and when I finally did get him to go into the bathroom and wash up, as soon as I left the bathroom, to get the baby, he ran back into his room and locked the door, so I couldnt get in. My husband ended up having to take the door knob off the door, so that he wouldnt be late for school. He refused to eat his breakfast and he wouldnt talk to us at all this morning. My husband wanted to spank him for locking himself in the room but I am not a big fan of spanking. I think he is acting out because of the move and my husband thinks he's just spoiled, which is it? How do I disicipline his behavoir? I cant just let him off the hook.
2007-10-09 04:55:12 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Well, if you are spoiling him it becomes a matter of how you treat him and not how he acts, doesn't it?
2007-10-09 05:01:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
I don't think he's necessarily spoiled but he sounds like he's very rebellious. I agree with your husband about spanking him. He is not grown. He doesn't pay bills. So he doesn't lock doors to anything! Then after I had to take the door knob off the door??? Oh, he would have gotten spanked. He knows better. It would be different he didn't. But he does. He has plenty of sense too.
I can't make an accurate assumption as to whether or not he's spoiled because I don't know the history. But if you try to compromise with him for his behavior, instead of disciplining him when he acts out then you are causing a problem. You can't compromise bad behavior.
As for him acting out. I don't know what the circumstances are behind him living with you, but him not being with his mother and/or father probably has something to do with the way he feels, but even then there are boundaries to what a child should and shouldn't be able to do.
If you have to move, you have to move. That's that. You are the adults and he is the child. He goes where you tell him to go. I would try to comfort him in saying he will meet new friends at his new school, etc., but I would talk to him face to face and tell him that his outbursts will not be tolerated.
About him not eating. I wouldn't have begged him. But he would have been hungry until lunch time. You play into his games and he sits back and watches. As far as him not talking to you and your husband, again, he is not grown. He is a six year old kid that should not be allowed to decide whether or not he's going to talk. Somebody has been letting him get away with bloody murder. I don't know if was you, his parents, or whoever he lived with before. But it sounds like he has been "allowed" to act like this for a while.
2007-10-09 07:18:56 · answer #2 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
why does it have to be one or the other, maybe he did not sleep well and was having a fit, he should not have a lock on his door, take it off, he needed to eat, that's a big issue in the morning , i don't think spanking is the answer, but before he comes home from school remove his door, and tell him when he earns it back with proper behavior he will get it back, not talking or ignoring people is a form of abuse it is rude and should be treated as bad behavior , also take away his TV time have a talk with him, and enlist the help of a school counselor it helps, good luck
2007-10-09 05:13:57 · answer #3 · answered by melissa s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on if that's unusual behavior for him or not. If you have these problems or fits more than once a month, he's at least a little spoiled, yes, and needs more discipline.
Even if he is acting unusual b/c of instability in life right now, he needs to know that behavior is never acceptable.
If you don't like spanking, you need to choose other forms of discipline that are effective.
2007-10-09 05:13:15 · answer #4 · answered by Dj 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he's spoiled and/or has a bad attitude. I'm glad you agree that you cant just let him off the hook and i agree with your husband my kids probably wouldve got spanked. Kids will react to certain news certain ways but when its against the rules before/after the move to act that way then you still have to discipline.
2007-10-09 05:57:14 · answer #5 · answered by hlboin_2005 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you are dumb, spanking is the only way to go with a kid like that. Thats how they learn. Let your husband scare the bejesus out of him, thats what always did it for me and my brother growing up. If dad was mad we knew we'd get a spanking which was the scariest thought so we were polite but at the same time we had a good childhood, I dont hold it against him now that Im grown.
2007-10-09 07:06:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
He's probably upset about the move and just doesn't know how to express himself properly.
He's not going to starve to death if he misses a meal and you should enjoy the peace and quiet if he doesn't want to talk.
As far as himself locking the bedroom door and not letting anyone in, don't put the doorknob back on until he decides to behave.
I don't see a need to discipline a 6-year-old child who has just been told his way of life is getting ready to change. Instead, sit down with him and tell him exactly what is going to happen. Will he be going to a new school? Is he moving when you move? If not, will he be seeing you regularly? If he is going with you, will he have his own bedroom at the new place?
You need to clear up the unknown for him. Give him the details. Let him know what it means to move....packing, taking furniture apart, getting a moving van, unpacking....etc.
Hope this helps!
2007-10-09 05:02:36 · answer #7 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 5⤊ 3⤋
You can start by sending him straight to be when he gets home from school. When he whines just ignore him. He's probably just doing it for attention and so he will get his way. Try and make the move sound fun. Tell him about the interesting things to do at the new place just to get him excited about it.
2007-10-09 05:07:33 · answer #8 · answered by al l 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know this sounds mean but he may have adhd, have you had him tested? my nephew is the same way and he has adhd. is he normally good during the day? he may be spoiled but it is hard to tell with the info you gave. you can disicipline him by making him sit down and not let him play with toys or other things. i am not into the spanking either but sometimes it is necessary. just dont over do it.
2007-10-09 05:05:47 · answer #9 · answered by amanda 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
He is probably reacting over the fear of (another) loss. He needs LOTS of reassurance, he also needs to know that some behavior are unacceptable where ever we live. He'll be fine.
2007-10-09 05:08:14 · answer #10 · answered by Teresa C 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
just carry on as normal and ignore his behavior as much as possible,itis because of the move,include him in it as much aspossible letting him choose how he will have his room etc,do not smack him
2007-10-09 05:02:41 · answer #11 · answered by dumplingmuffin 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋