This is my first baby and ever sense i brought him home my hubby's mom is crazy about the baby she started out the first month coming over every day and not leaven for a long time now he is 8 weeks but every time we go and see her or she comes here she will not give him back she spends the hole time holding hi9m it got so bad we will go in a store he will be sleeping she ask can i hold him i said no and she dose it any ways its so bad we will goo out and eat and she will show up has any one had this problem and how to dill with it with out being a total ***** and making her hate me?
2007-10-09 04:26:59 · 10 answers · asked by c_wilke22 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your mother-in-law is showering your child with all her love and you should feel proud that your child is so attractive that he has mesmerized his grandma.Let your mother in law have some happiness. With passage of time,the intensity of her love will fade away.
2007-10-09 04:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by yogeshwargarg 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure from what I read that the fact that your mother-in -law wants to hold your child all the time is really the problem. She is not hurting your child and a child cannot be loved too much. I sense that what is really bothering you, and would really bother me, is that she is around all the time. Being a first time mom, you might feel that she is second guessing your skill at being a mother. I loved my in-laws but I did always feel judged around them as a wife and a mother. You need to set some boundaries and you need to enlist the help of your husband. Your husband should explain to your mother that you love seeing her but you need some space. If you don't set some boundaries now, it will only get worse. I know from experience. Most likely, your mother-in-law has no idea that you are bothered by her constant presence in your life. You or your husband need to politely explain to her that you love her and think it is great that she cares for your child so much, but you need some space. Good luck.
2007-10-09 12:01:02 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my first grandson was born, my daughter had the same problem, not only with me, her mom, but also her mother in law. It was no different when my second grandson was born.
It doesn't sound like you have an awful problem with your mother in law -- but it does sound like you are having a control issue with her. I imagine you are feeling the same way my daughter felt -- this is my child, please respect MY wishes with MY child. My oldest grandson is 3, the youngest is 10 months, and my daughter is still having the same problems with her mother in law. For some reason, I can do the same things, and she views my actions as non-threatening.
Please understand this: Your mother in law adores and is in love with that little guy. Believe me, I know first hand, and as I type this, I remember all too well the overwhelming sense of joy and love I had when my grandsons were born. Oh my goodness! It is just as joyous as the day my own children were born, it a feeling of complete happiness, nothing can compare. Nothing can compare. Your mother in law is simply eager to build a relationship with him, that's all. She is not trying to control your baby, or go against your wishes, or do anything to harm the baby. She just wants to hold him, cherish him, love him, and bond with him. That's all.
If you read this and disagree, then I suggest you talk with your husband. He really needs to be the one to talk with his mother about issues, and vice versa if he has issues with your mother.
Congratulations on the birth of your son!
2007-10-09 12:56:29 · answer #3 · answered by tracy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its called etiquette. Unfortunately, she has learned that she may see you any time. Now it will be difficult but not impossible to re train her. Start by letting your phone take messages from her and reply much later to them. Then if she comes by without being invited, do not answer door. If she has keys, change locks. Then when you DO speak with her, say oh we have been very busy but we will INVITE you over another time. Use the word Invite as much as you can to get her to see that visits are by invitation only. That applies to you too so do not just go drop in on her either. In other words, gradually detach and decrease the frequency with which you visit. Do not confront her on the issue you wrote her. ONly your husband can do that. You must be gracious, warm kind etc but unavailable.
2007-10-09 15:07:31 · answer #4 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a tuffy...I know the feeling. But I would have to say the best thing to do is be honest with her about how you feel b/c your true feelings are going to show one way or another. The way I handled it was not going thru my ex-husband(like most wives do) b/c he was going to sugar coat everything and not get my pt across fully. I asked her over as if it was a girl to girl visit. And we started off talking about just things in general and then I slowly worked in why i wanted to talk to her. After putting the feeling out there she understood. But you also have to know that we had a very good relashinship at that time so she was very open to things that I had to say.
2007-10-09 12:15:08 · answer #5 · answered by RAEGAN G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are really lucky to have a mother in law that the one you have i see that she really loves your baby i understand how you feel why dont you sit your mother in law down and talk to her so that she can understand what you feel or if that is to hard have your husband go talk to her because you dont wanna be bad with your mother in law good luck
2007-10-09 11:39:33 · answer #6 · answered by christina b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, take advantage of that. It's way better then having a mother in law that does absolutely nothing with her grandkids like mine.
2007-10-09 11:47:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell her that you would like it if she would respect you and to not touch your child with out your permition,it's your child you have to stand up for it,and after you say it say " I hope you understand." (in a loving way) hope it helps!!! :3
2007-10-09 11:37:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let your husband handle this one. Talk to him about it.
2007-10-09 12:07:08 · answer #9 · answered by tysdad62271 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just talkk to her about it
ask her why she obsseses
so much over the baby!!
2007-10-09 11:30:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋