How do you regulate how much you allow yourself to care/not care?

Question

I guess we all know if you care to much you'll hurt for it. And hopefully most of you haven't learned that not caring can create problems also.

Where is the middle ground between too much and too little?

Answer 1

It's easier to just detach from everything and look at everything from a logical good, rather than an emotional good perspective. Emotions are your natural enemies. They confound your mental faculties and lead to bad decisions. If you care on a logical platform, rather than on an emotional one, there is no danger of you getting hurt.

Answer 2

There is no regulation or non regulation in caring. You can't regulate emotion or caring. What you can do is to control what you do with those feelings. A disciplined person will not allow behaviors to rule over feelings. The middle ground is in behaviors. Emotions can be very selfish things. They come with satisfaction and dissatisfaction of wants, not needs. The teenage creed is "I want what I want when I want it." Some people never get beyond that selfish attitude so they can be in control. But that doesn't mean you will never feel emotional pain. Emotional pain is an opportunity for growth and creativity and that is not a bad thing.

Answer 3

the simple answer is choosing your battles...between which one you know will carry results and those that you know won't.

for example..my sister, she's a huge mess since she was 14 (she's 22 now) and for those 1st few years I cared too much so much so that I was physically getting ill. but after 8 yrs and nothing's changed, in fact she's WORSE, I've had to detach myself for the sake of my health and especially my daughter. It was very hard, believe me, because of my 2 nieces, and because I HATE the way she treats my mother, but whether I told my sister directly or told my mother something, didn't matter, neither behavior changed.

So this is a battle I chose to retreat from. It's a care/not care situation now. I dealt with so many demons trying to get to this point where I had to adopt the "don't care" attitude. And even still, it's not that I don't care..cause I do, but you know a losing situation when you see one. ..or in this case, been thru one.

Answer 4

There's no too much nor too little when it comes to caring as long as you do so sincerely. You won't get hurt if you do not expect something or being cared back in return. What problem would be created if you do things out of love? Why would you get hurt if caring would make you happier because it's something you do for your self?

Answer 5

I think everyone does that, only because if we had to fully feel for every terrible thing that happens we would be miserable creatures who do nothing but weep, which is a thought worth weeping over on it's own, don't you think?

Answer 6

Forgiveness is the key.