how soon is too soon to console my ex who just lost his Mom to cancer?

Question

Last night, cancer took the life of an incredible woman. My ex's Mom. I want to contact him and his family but as devastating as this to me I know he is going thru alot worse pain. There family were very close.

How much time do I let his family grieve before I call him? Him and I are still good terms.

Answer 1

If it happened last night, I would call him later on today or possibly tomorrow morning. He will want to spend some time with immediate family first, but I'm sure would love to hear from you.

Answer 2

Obviously you have stayed in contact with your ex and/or his family, or you wouldn't have known about it (although, I suppose you could have found out about it from a newspaper obituary).

Regardless, your sympathy will be appreciated by the family, but don't expect to be invited to the wake or funeral, as the family may not want you to attend, which, I'm sure you'll understand. As long as you are genuinely on good terms with your ex, phone him at home, as soon as you can, preferably in the evening, when things are typically less hectic (he may not be home, though; do leave a message; don't call more than once;
do *N-O-T* use a cellphone - - it's crass).

However, if you are "stretching" the truth a bit concerning your amicability with your ex, then you may want to consider just sending a card and/or donation, and leave it at that.

Answer 3

I'd say you know him and so probably would know the answer to this better than anyone here....

If you have a closenes with him, why wait... If it was my ex, I'd have called when I found out...As hes one of my best friends.. and also because I lost a parent myself and so have a slight insight there...

If its that you are on good terms but arent in regular contact, maybe leave it a few days... and then call... Keep it brief tho... Otherwise, a nice card with a couple of lines and invite to contact you may be welcome..

like I said, do what you think he'd appreciate... Needs be, reverse the situation and think how you'd like him to react..

Answer 4

Call him and let him know you're thinking of him. Don't talk about what you went through when someone close to you died. Just tell him that you know hurts, you wish you help in some way but you know nothing is going to make it hurt less.

Put a card in the mail today.

Answer 5

Why would you wait? Call him now. Not calling is worse to me. You were family too once upon a time and just cause you're split doesn't mean you shouldn't be supportive at this time. I would think you could offer a lot since you were once that close.

And if it pains you too to lose her let him know that too.

It should mean a lot to know that she meant that much to you too.

Answer 6

pass lower back to an abusive guy? Hmmmm, enable me think of approximately that one. Hell No! residing with those adult males could desire to actual pose a topic nonetheless. in spite of if each little thing is as secure and look after as you describe. have you ever filed for divorce? If no longer ascertain you do it till now he does. he will have the top hand if he does. record for divorce, request a restraining order. rfile each little thing! If he leaves you taped messages on your cellular, answering device then carry directly to those. in case you are able to no longer have adequate money an criminal expert, then you certainly ought to start up amassing each and all of the understanding you are able to approximately how the courtroom device works, a thank you to record your place of work work.you're able to properly be taught a lot from the information superhighway, regulation colleges, females's shelters etc... The YWCA is a sturdy place to start up. The courtroom facilitators place of work can help you too. Request courtroom mediation. do only no longer look forward to him to make the 1st circulate. Be proactive and picture approximately getting your very own place ASAP! i know this sounds loopy yet having left the domicile replace into no longer the neatest circulate. you will have stayed and gotten the submitting and restaraining order first and had him removed from the domicile. in case you get a activity at this factor you will likely get much less in alimony and baby help. i do no longer know what your activity capacity point or coaching point is. are you able to help your daughter on what you are able to earn without baby help? simply by fact in case you are able to no longer then getting a activity and having moved out of your place could desire to screw you finacially later. He could ok get 50% custody after which you will get no longer something interior the way of help. in spite of if he has been abusive to you and you have been thoroughly dependant on him finacially won't certainly shop him from some share of custody or get you help. he is going to apply each trick interior the e book to make you look undesirable interior the eyes of the courtroom. Be arranged for something and not have faith what he tells you. Get each little thing in writing and legally signed by using the courtroom.

Answer 7

Only you know the answer, and what sort of relationship you have. I just lost my Mum to cancer in sept this year, i would leave a message and wait for him to contact you. Just let him know your there.

Answer 8

Send him a card. Write a message there that you would like to talk. Include your phone number. Let him call you.

Answer 9

You should call now. People have this myth that when a person dies, no one talks about that person. That is a myth. People want to hear stories about their loved one's and they want to hear others will remember them as well.
You should call now.
Good luck!

Answer 10

CALL HIM NOW! Just to let him know you are there for him IF he needs to talk, cry, scream or whatever. It's great you two have this kind of relationship.