Pros & cons of having your wedding band & engagment ring sodered together?

Question

Everyone is telling me that it is better to have your engagment ring & wedding band sodered together. I am not sure I want this, does it matter? Any advice?

For those of you who did not have them sodered what did you do with your engagement ring on you wedding day? The books say to wear it on your right hand or not at all.

Answer 1

i did mine. they are a wrap around band and engagement ring. i did mine because they kept separating, and they didn't look right separate. the diamond would slip under my hand and the band would not. when my husband held my hand he would always fix it for me, but if it was left alone it continued. now that it is soldered together they stay put and when they slip under my hand they don't look so bad. you can hardly see the spot weld. i thinnk i could pop it apart if i played with it long enough, so its not obtrusive at all.
i am happy with mine.
hope this helps.

Answer 2

Both rings are optional. After the wedding, the woman ususally wears the wedding band and engagement rings on the same finger together, stacked. Wedding ring goes on first to be closest to her heart. Yes, usually the man only has a wedding ring. However, people alter these traditions all the time to suit their tastes (some women buy their guy an engagement ring, some couples go entirely without rings, some women put engagement ring away and only wear wedding band, etc). What I've described above (in my second paragraph) is just what the most recent trend is. Engagement rings among non-wealthy people are a fairly recent custom, and some say they are on the way "back out" again, as many couples decide to go for a ringless engagement and put that money towards something they prefer more (house, wedding celebration, etc). Plus there is so much info available now about conflict and blood diamonds, and the environmental damage from gold and gem mining, that people don't want to contribute to those industries. Some get alternative material rings like wood, glass, stainless steel, ivory, acrylic, etc.

Answer 3

I read the comments and answers below...good points on both. It's a personal choice...it's what you would like.
I got my sodered together. I love it. The engagement ring doesn't turn under anymore and I'm not banging it on my desk all day while I'm work. And if at any time I want to get them un-sodered...they can do that too. The area they soder is very small and can be heated up and pulled apart and then they heat that up again and mold it together. Will not harm the rings at all. When I have babies...I'm sure I will get mine undone for the reason someone posted below... you don't want to scratch your baby with the ring and you still want to wear your wedding band.
Congratulations on your marriage and best of luck!
Again, do what feels better for you...and if your ring twists like mine did and I feared that I would lose it, then I would get it sodered.

Answer 4

I wouldn't do it. It will ruin both pieces.

Often I take off my engagement ring so it wont snag or scratch things/people, but my wedding band doesn't pose the same problem, so that usually stays on.

For example, my engagement ring could scratch my son while changing his diapers or clothes, or while taking a bath. i'd be taking my rings off all day if I had them soldered together. Instead, I just don't wear the engagement ring all the time. Typically, I might just wear it while going out. But if I forget to put it back on, it's not as big of a deal as it would be if I had forgotten my wedding band.

If for ANY reason you should ever want to sell your ring(s) or pass them along to your chil(ren) it will be ruined.

I wouldn't change something so valuable in such a permanent way. There's no going back and you may regret it.

It's like getting a tatoo on your belly when you are 18. You fail to think it through and regret it after you have had kids and your belly is never the same. Now you have a weird tatoo on your belly.....

Answer 5

I'm considering getting mine done...either that or buying a different wedding band.

My wedding band has diamonds on about 1/3 of it. It keeps rolling around so you can't see the diamonds which I hate. I'm either going to look at getting a ring with diamonds all the way around or getting them sodered together.

I would prefer not to get another ring as it won't have the special meaning that this one does. So, I would say if you're doing it to keep them aligned, go for it. If you're just doing it for the sake of it, consider leaving them for those reasons outlined by other people.

Answer 6

I see only cons. There are SO many times when I just wear my wedding band alone.
One of my sisters had her soldered together. She ended up having to buy a plain gold wedding band later, so she could wear it at times she just wanted the band.
If you were to get it done, you do it AFTER you are married. For the ceremony, you can put your engagement ring on the other hand - leave the hand bare which will be receiving the wedding band.
Women talk about having the rings soldered because of the rubbing, etc. I've been married 18 years, and with good quality 14k gold rings, there's no apparent wear on the bands...

Answer 7

I have some friends who have done this, but I never have. If you have narrow bands, it would probably work, but if you have wider bands (like I do) it's probably easier to take the rings off one at a time rather than as a unit. Some people will tell you that over time the rings rubbing together will wear down the metal, and that's true--but I've worn mine for almost 20 years now, and don't have a problem with that. I honestly think it's a personal preference thing.

Answer 8

Bad Idea. Dont do it, you will surely regret it.

2 main reasons.

If they are joined, they are joined. You cant take the engagement ring off without taking the wedding abnd off and you will HATE not wearing your wedding ring (especially after you have kids, if you dont wear a wedding ring you feel its glaringingly obvious that you arent wearing it and you feel as if thats all people are looking at is your finger to see if you are an unwed mother)

2nd, the very first time you are wearing your ring and you scratch your baby with the diamond you will feel so sick because YOU were the one that hurt your baby. Believe me, I've been there. Once that happens you will decide its best to put that ring away for special occasions only. Not to mention, in the future you "wifely" duties will take over and you will soon scrub toilets, do dishes, clean house and its way to risky to your stone to do this, not only the chemicals, but you wouldnt believe how easily a ring can come off a soapy finger and be flushed down the toilet (my BF's ring) or go down the sink drain (My sisters) and its gone forever.

You are thinking in the now, think more towards the future, you will truly regret this decision I think.

ETA:To answer your additional question, in my social circle it is believed to be bad luck to wear your engagement ring on your right hand (not sure why) so we give it to our MOH's to wear on their pinky during the ceremony, then immediately afterwards (as the recieving line is set up) they gve it back to the bride and its put back on top of the wedding band so people can see the complete set.

Answer 9

I'm not getting mine soldered together.

While I will probably end up wearing both the majority of the time there will be occasions where I want to take my engagement ring off. For instance if I am washing dishes, doing a project, or at night I don't want the engagement ring on to snag/catch on anything.

When it comes to resizing and repairs it's also more of a pain when they are fused together. Personally I just don't see the point unless you are really, really anal about seeing a small space between the two sometimes when you are wearing them.

Answer 10

People kept asking me the same thing. But I didn't see any reason in doing this. I wanted to keep them separate. For one thing, as some one said, what if you need to take off the engagement ring due to not wanting it get messed up. But you can keep your wedding ring on.
Plus, what if, God forbid, I lose one of them, if they are sodered together I would lose them both.

Answer 11

It doesn't matter, it just helps keep the two rings together. And, they are barely attached. You can have them separated later if you want. The only con in my eyes is if you decide to take your engagement ring off (if you're doing something where it could get knocked out or damaged) you will have to take your band off as well. That is the only reason why I didn't do it. Sometimes, I just like to wear the band alone :)