Have You Ever Been Arrested For Disciplining Your Child?

Question

I was. My son dropped a glass of milk and then made my younger son clean it up with my wife's blouse. I took a belt and lightly slapped his bottom. Not even hard. Then I made him wear his mother's blouse for the rest of the day.
Was I too severe?
Apparently my wife thought so and we got into an argument. Which resulted in her slapping me in the face and me slamming her against the wall. Then our neighbors called the cops and they took me in for abuse.
Who is in the wrong here?
I am steaming mad!

Answer 1

Hello,

One fatal mistake a couple can make is to quarrel in front of their children about how to instill discipline. Kids can be crafty at playing one parent off against the other so both must be consistent in their discipline policies.

Were you arrested for spanking the child or slamming your wife into the wall? Anyway in Canada where I live, several people were taken to court over physically punishing their kids but every time the court right up to the supreme court has ruled that this is OK so long as you don't use whips, sticks etc.

I would say that your wife was at fault here for initiating a hostile argument and slapping your face but at the same time I would guess that slamming her into the wall may have killed your credibility in the eyes of the law if that was reported. There must have been some yelling or screaming to get the neighbor's attention don't you think?

Cheers,

Michael Kelly

Answer 2

If I knew then what I know now about domestic violence and child abuse, my father would have been spending time in the cell next to you. My father used his leather belt to discipline my sister and me--and it was not a light slap on the bottom. In was out of control lashing. I do not know what my sister and/or I ever did to deserve that treatment--don't think the punishment fit the crime. He was also abusive to my mother by kicking her and pushing her around. It affected my sister and I for life. We never married, we never had children. Whenever I see someone physically punishing their child in public, I try to stop them. I know how it feels.

As a parent, you are to teach your children right from wrong in a loving way. The activity in your residence must have been out of control to cause the neighbors to think this could escalate into something more serious. That's why they called. It is good that they are watching out for the weaker person. They certainly don't want to see you on the 6 o'clock news.

Put away your madness. Instead, lovingly apologize to your wife and son. Forgive them and they will forgive you too. Talk to your neighbors and explain you were having a very bad day and this event will never happen again and you have learned a very valuable lesson. Develop anger management skills.

In the future, when you feel the steaming mad sensation coming on, give yourself a time out. Life is so precious and valuable--family is really all you have. My father died in 1984, my sister died three years ago. My mother is now 86 and when she is gone I will have no one.

You take care and God Bless you and your family. I will keep you in prayer.

Answer 3

Yes. You never punish your son for dropping a glass of milk.

Any child and adult can make mistake but it this type of mistake is not a sin therefore you try to justified the fact that dropping a glass is wrong.

What wrong with you?

Maybe you need to be re-educated on child rearing.

Answer 4

You went overboard making him wear the shirt all day, you should have made him hand wash it. The souring milk could have caused health problems.

You deserved that slap, you should have just taken it like a man and not shoved her. I know your type all too well, you downplay what you do to look like your actions weren't that bad.

I think you need a reality check or a swift beating, whichever happens first.

Answer 5

personally, i think you went overboard making him wear her shirt.
kids are kids. they spill milk. they accidentally miss the toilet. they sneeze on your best shirt. they put fingerprints on the wall. they make bad choices. that's why we're here - to teach them to make right choices and explain why there's a right and wrong way to do things.

there's a big difference between childish immaturity and willful disobedience. if you told your son to be careful and not spill the milk and he just looked at you, picked up the glass, and dumped it, that's willful disobedience.

your son that cleaned up the milk with his mother's shirt was probably just trying to help out and clean up the milk. even if it was a bad decision to do it with mom's shirt, he didn't deserve that harsh of treatment.

Answer 6

I would say you were. Anytime you discipline a child, you should be calm and rational first - you are the adult. This is true if the punishment is physical or a time out or grounding. Never discipline in anger.

You should never resort to physical violence against your family.

Answer 7

your error was in making him wear the blouse all day, and slamming your wife up against the wall.

Answer 8

Yep! Enjoy jailtime buddy!

Answer 9

did i miss the roaming game this morning?

Answer 10

No