We've been together for 3 years and he still has issues....What can I do to reassure him I'm here for the long run? Help me out people!
2007-10-09 03:50:22 · 29 answers · asked by CILLA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hard one ...Guys are more hurt emotionally than girls and this can scar them big time. I can put my hand up here. I am with the most wonderful woman I have ever met, she loves me I know .But having been cheated on in the past ,it always crosses my mind when she goes out. I know I am damaged, but over the last 3 years with her I have got better.....so it does take time for the scar to heal. He probably trusts you but that little thought just pokes him in the background... give him time. All is normal...believe me.
2007-10-09 03:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you have done anything that has caused him to have trust issues with you but there is really not much you can do. His trust has to come from within and if he cannot build up enough trust for you then he will always have these thoughts and concerns. All you can do is to tell him that you are not doing anything wrong and keep reassuring him that everything is ok. Just remember that a relationship cannot last if both parties do not trust each other. Trust is a big deal in a relationship because you cannot be everywhere together every hour of the day. If he is continues to have these trust issues then it is going to eventually consume all of his thoughts until he gets tired of dealing with it one day. Or you are going to get so tired of him not trusting you that you and will eventually get tired and not want to deal with him anymore. Either way this relationship is not going to work without trust from both of you, I would suggest that you make him aware of that and again tell him how you feel about him and your relationship with him.
2007-10-09 11:01:27 · answer #2 · answered by dencur02 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are factors to consider
life issues when the issue of trust comes up, what is behind the issue? has he had bad relationships before that hurt him, has he been unfaithful in the past, how was his childhood and parent relationships? Is he into anything that is effecting his judgment drinking, looking at other women,
there is alot more i could say but this is a start, and the key in life is amazing grace trusting the one that is worthy of our soul=John 3 &10 in his more abundant life-
prayin the best for you and the longest run too, David the SP
2007-10-09 10:57:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really hard to deal with a man with trust isues, U dont have to reassure him about anything. I think he needs to try to fix that issue himself. He might need some conselling or work on some past issues he had with trusting. U do not need to feel bad, it is not ur responsibility to reassure him, first he needs to find trust in himself. Good luck!!!
2007-10-09 10:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by kurchick6 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in exactly the same situation and no matter how many times I tell him, he still has doubts. I have attempted to just let him communicate his doubts, let him know that I am here through the good times and bad, and I hope that eventually he will learn to trust again. His lack of trust effects more than our relationship, it goes for his friends and business associates as well. Give him time and perhaps (God willing) it will work out.
2007-10-09 11:00:26 · answer #5 · answered by Cynthia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he still has trust issues after 3 years, he may need professional help - or the two of you may want to go to counseling together. It sounds like you may be the victim of some past experience of his that he has not dealt with.
Good Luck!
2007-10-09 10:54:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What sort of trust issues? Can you give me an example? Perhaps he has a screw loose or he had a breast taken away from him when he was a kid. My suggestion is: having my own experiences I found that it is not going to get any better and he may start to get physical. If your living with him don't say anything, just move out and don't tell him your doing it otherwise he may do something stupid...
2007-10-09 10:58:30 · answer #7 · answered by Kennethroy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that after 3 YEARS, he SHOULD know you well enough to KNOW you are trustworthy!!!!
IT IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to "assure" him he can trust you - HE HAS THE PROBLEM - and as long as you keep babying him along, he will NEVER learn to DEAL with HIS problems!!
TELL HIM - enough is enough, 3 years and he still has the same trust issues - it is time he gets some professional help - you are only enabling him to be dysfunctional - trust is ESSENTIAL for any relationship to function properly.
2007-10-09 11:07:32 · answer #8 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having spent a number of years with a jealous husband I can tell you that I could find no way, myself. Any time a man looked my way, I caused it. If a wrong number called and hung up, it must be one of my boyfriends. I was totally, 100% faithful in every way. I tried every way I could think of to convince him. Nothing worked. Finally I couldn't take it any longer.
It seems to be insecurity. Maybe he feels you are so great he can't understand why you'd want him.
Perhaps his own self image isn't so great.
Whatever the reason, if you ever find a way to change him, for heaven's sake, write a book. you'll make a fortune!
2007-10-09 11:03:49 · answer #9 · answered by LaVere B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Issue = "What can I do to reassure him I'm here for the long run?"
Answer = You can't - unless you get out now - your life will be miserable.
Sorry Sweetie ~+~ been there!!
2007-10-09 10:54:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋