ugh....Family Problems!! ADVICE????

Question

ok, me and my mom haven't been getting along latley, we are very close though, she knows EVERYTHING about me, i mean EVERYTHING, but still we are alwasy arguing now, i thnk it's because we are around each other to much, everywhere i am she is there, and for the parents who think that going to school is a breeze, YOUR WRONG, it's hard work and kids HAVE to work their asses of just to pass, and my mom works outside on a construction site, so yeah i do work around the house alot, but does that mean i have to do all the work all the time?? am i being selfish or do i make sense? i need advice!! i am about to go CRAZY WITH HER!! im grounded because of something really stupid, last week i got out of school early because i had my period and i got it on my pants and it was the third time that week, well i clled my mom and she told me to cll someone else she couldnt come and get me so i called my g-pa and he came and got me and when mom came home she was pissed!! so now i am grounded!! HELP!!!!!

she is the hardest person to talk to!! she is loud, she interupts, she hears what she wants to when she wants to and if she don't feel like listening to it, i can't talk to her about it!!!

Answer 1

You aren't getting along with your mom because she's not paying attention to the fact that you are not 10 any more. Every woman has different periods, some are not painful and are light. Others are just hellish. I got both of my daughters on birth control pills for just that reason. This isn't a license to have sex before you are ready, neither of mine were allowed to date before they were 16 and both were raised with enough self awareness that they understood teenage boys. They stopped missing so much school, the leakage incidents ended and life was much better all the way around.

You shouldn't be punished for having to go home from school in this situation but I can understand your mom's frustration. If your mom loses her job because for the 3rd time that week she's had to leave her job and come and get you, then you both are in trouble. I would suggest she give you cab money or set up an alternative person to call for this sort of thing. You could also take a change of underwear and pants and put them in your locker or bookbag since you know this happens. You can also use a tampon and a pad during school days, just be sure to change often. So there are things you can do to solve the problem and no just be a victim.

I raised two daughters and I do understand that going to school is a hard thing. You need to understand that your mom doesn't just go to work, she is also responsible for everything else in your life and in hers. Doesn't sound like there is a father around, so she's on her own. There is no way that you can know how frightening that is, so take it easy on her. While I don't think you have to do all the work, I do think you need to do part of the work all the time. Keeping a house is part of life, the more you learn now, the easier it will be later on.

You don't have all that many years until you will be on your own and you and your mom will live very seperate lives. Take some responsibility for your life now, while you cannot control your mother, you can control yourself. It might be worth your while to tell your mom that you are not a guy and not her coworker. If you do this quietly and respectfully enough times maybe she will understand the difference. Listen more than you talk and talk quietly. This will get her attention more than anything.

Another piece of advice. I am very close to my daughters but I am not their friend. While I encouraged them to tell me what they wanted and was open to talking about everything, I did also tell them that mothers and daughters naturally shouldn't share some things. I don't encourage keeping secrets but no one's life should be an open book to anyone else, there are things that you may want to keep private, just as your mom probably does. Worked for us, again, its just some free advice.

Answer 2

No..nothing is easy about school and having to study..AND do work at home. But, your mom makes the rules, and as long as you are there--you have to go by them! I'm sorry that you aren't getting along well with her...she does seem to be getting carried away...but that could be because of her job, possibly? Not many women work construction, and its VERY tiring!! Tell her how you feel, and try to reason with her to come to some kind of agreement. Plus, moms and daughters are going to argue. 2 females..yep. Genetics!! My mom and I do..but its usually resolved pretty quickly. I understand you are having a hard time with school and house duties...but hey, I work 40 hours a week, go to school 12 hours a week, and do housework...cook, clean, wash, etc. So, things could be alot worse!! Hope this helps..and good luck to you!!

Answer 3

A long time ago, when I was in school and I messed up my clothes like that. I went into the bathroom in the Library, which can be locked. Washed the spot out and used the hand dryer. Get some extra pads and underwear put into a sack and leave them in your locker. Find out in advance where you could go to take care of a problem like that in private. Then next time take care of it yourself, my mom didn't work outside the home, but I hated to ask her help because she would not be happy about it. It did teach me how to look out for myself and be resourceful. As for the house work, doing a little everyday would be a big plus for mom. My teens would not do anything without fussing.

Answer 4

Dear Jess, I wish there was an easy answer to these issues. Money and how it is handled tends to be a major issue in both Christian and non-Christian marriages. St. Paul reminds us in Ephesians 5:21 that we are to submit ourselves to one another in the fear of God. This is of course easier said than done. In my marriage, it has taken 5 years to devise a system that works for us and keeps money disagreements to a minimum. I had to give a little (I'm the saver) and she had to give a little (she's the spender). Though our system is not perfect, when two people are willing to work together there is hope. It is important that BOTH of you come up with a plan for saving, spending, giving, etc. that you both agree with. Marriages succeed when the two of you are able to apologize and forgive one another. Then you can work on the problem and not each other! If you have difficulty working a plan that you both agree on, seek your pastor's advice, a financial counselor's advice, or send me an email with some more specifics and I'll be glad to try to help. In Christ Jesus, gloria-dei

Answer 5

I don't understand the reason for your being grounded, and i think that as your parent she should encouraging school work not housework, you should by all means be helping out but it should not be all your responsibility. I think it may be more productive to talk to your mom, in a calm manner and try to resolve somethings tell her how you feel and hopefully she will tell you how she feels and you guys can reach a happy medium, this is the mature way to go about things.

Answer 6

Okay, let me start off by saying...I am a momma's girl..and now that I love 500 miles from my mother it sucks!!! When I was a teen and living at home with my mom, we fought all the time too. You should help her out...you can only imagine how hard she works to support you! When your really aggravated with her...think about how bad it would suck without her!!!

Answer 7

been there.i feel ur pain.yea we do hav to work our butts to pass.tell ur mom that u want a break once i na while n b teen.n i know whenu wanna talk to her u wanna go crazy.n ask her y was she pissed,so just try talkin to her.ok.hope that helps=]!

Answer 8

very bad.you should appologise to her