In a custody battle?

Question

I never talk negative about my childrens father to my children, because I give my bf respect that he is their father. But he tells my children terrible lies about me. He also encourages them to lie in court. I want them to know the truth. HELP ME, should I stoop to his level and tell the children the horrible things he has done to me

Answer 1

I do not believe that you should stoop to his level, however you can have a mature conversation with you children. You can first let them know that you would like to have a family discussion with them and that there are somethings that you would like to share with them.
You don't have to be detailed with somethings, but just to get your side of the story told.

**With that I feel like you would be better than him b/c he spits out negative statements with no explanation & lies.**

You can tell your story with a little respect and maturity...not too much, because they still are children.

Later, when they get older you could tell them more if you choose.

Answer 2

No it will only make it worse, if they here it from both ends, and it is never good to stoop to that level, it will only make them lose respect for you later on. My father used to do the same thing, but my mom would never say anything bad about him, except to defend the lies that we were told, and in the end it only gave me more respect for my mother and less for my father. I would sit down with your children and explain to them that their father is angry and sometimes the things he says about you are not true, and if they ever need to know what is true and not true to ask you. Also, I would make sure you bring up this issue to your lawyer, and give all instances of when lies where told so that your lawyer can be prepared for it.

Answer 3

Since you are in a custody battle and he's telling them lies and teaching them to lie, I would talk to your lawyer about them seeing a counselor. Should be someone impartial who can report his behavior to the judge. This could result in him having supervised visits with them unless he is willing to stop doing this. Never stoop to his level, always do what is best for the children, that will tell the judge what he needs to know to do what is best for the kids.

Answer 4

No. They will figure it out on their own. Liars are always liars, and children are not stupid. Take the high road and set a good example. How else will they ever learn to tell the difference between a liar and a truthful person? I made that a practice with my kids, and all my ex husband had to be was himself, I never had to say a thing.

Answer 5

don't lower yourself to his level. we don't give kids enough credit. they are smart little beings. in the long run the kids will see him for who he really is. they will know the truth as they see it, not by what they hear. stay strong and be a positive influence on your childrens lives. that is what they need.