***I need someone’s opinion with a moral dilemma***?

Question

I am new to the neighborhood and am becoming more and more concerned for the 4 small children that live next door to me. Their mother just lets them roam around the neighborhood all day long and the oldest is only 4. I have also been told that her and her husband find it amusing to feed them alcohol. Even though I’m getting the impression that this seems to be a very gossipy area, I certainly wouldn’t put it past her. As I was leaving the other day I witnessed the mom leaving as well, only with out her kids. They were hysterically crying as they ran after her car. Her only response was “Just go in the back, I will be home soon, I just have to run to the store quick”

To most this probably seems like a no brainer, but I have been told that I can be extremely paranoid at times. Should I confront her or talk to someone else and if so…how?

Answer 1

She lets her kids roam around outside, without watching them? And she has left them home alone, chasing her, crying?

You aren't being paranoid.

Although, what kind of neighborhood is it? A more rural, I watch your kids, you watch mine kind, or no? If it is, that might make a little more sense.. if not.. then yeah, bad.

You could try confronting her, but be prepared for that to turn out ugly. Usually parents don't react well, when you call into question their parenting skills. Maybe you'll get lucky, but I doubt it. Being new, is there anyone you know well enough to bring up the issue? If not.. you could call child services.. scarey step, but might be best for the children. I would at least try speaking with someone in the neighbor first though.

How? I don't know. Maybe if you can fit it into a conversation, ask if she lets her kids roam like that, and for the neighbor's opinion. Not sure personally, but if you can do it in a way that you aren't accusing her of bad parenting, maybe the neighbor would be more willing to be open to the new person.

Good luck with what you decide.

Answer 2

Nope, don't confront her. And as far as being paranoid, when it comes to child safety there is no such thing as TOO paranoid!!!

Call your local child welfare agency and speak to one of their representatives.

Explain your situation just as you have done here, including that you are new to the area and what you have and have not witnessed yourself.

It may be that the parents need some help and advice that a professional service could provide, and at least you'll be getting this concern off your chest.

Most times you can call anonymously, so do that to avoid potential trouble with your neighbour.

If you had said the kids were 10 or 11, I would advise differently, but toddlers are too young to leave alone, even for half an hour while Mum goes to the shop.

Sounds like Mum might need some respite, and that's something an agency can help arrange.

Take care and best wishes :-)

Answer 3

i think of you have issues. One is which you will not write in paragraphs, 2 is you droll on and on. Get directly to the damn component already. the actuality each and every thing is bunched mutually makes it unapealing to my eye. it may well be like if I did this on my finished next paragraph. gjirehwgrwghrtohrthrtwh rtwhrtwhtrhtrhrwthrt rghqj rhjew hewh fhe hfuew eeiwu euwq fegufew uiew fweui uewfweg fds hdjksf dfdsfg d fae hew qug eiw t trew?e fewEW etiew tewhue ewh rweqre chjkqw EJejjkRIHRBEFJR EWIQEHWGJKE A ahjuhwuhiruerm EWUhigbrehdfnjreutweudfjbs rgjeir grjgsdhiugre08hgrejsnf grijgorehgr8e gweher gherug regieruguer eir ui re giogy ewriyg ergier gherh grehghergherigerhr trygdfiugf fhgfd gsdf gigreu f rti ervuds giore df isgof gd or terow o rweht ewof hsdi fherhd s d gher dfs kgr ue s hdf re rg d f d gd gr gr w rt re dfghgjk hsjghd fjshjk gsdfjbdan feuhudg dsgfuyadiusyhjajklfjfn jajkea jidha kdeafijieaklfnds fdkosakfeotids sdjiaf dasjhuehfdsa lskoaehugja sihfsjhehudsjfh skfsdhuedb fdifahs hsjdifahses d dfdshusdoihe nd dieuwh didhfa ds hshieh ahdudhmreudn tytewqi dsaifeheutysa toypew rheuq eiq ie tirotur totu wietioyt qieht j af fkahfl fa fdhskfue That final paragraph replaced into extra eye-catching to my eye than that mess of a paragraph. Retry the question in a sparkling format and that i will help according to threat.

Answer 4

I have to agree with those that say let child services know about it. They will keep your name out of it and the children will still be protected. Leaving such young ones home alone, even to go to the store for a moment is an invitation to disaster. Paranoid, loosely, is when you think things are always against YOU. You are simply concerned about some very young children and a neglectful mother and father.
Think about how badly you would feel if something happened to one of the kids and you had never said anything.

Answer 5

I doesn't seem like you are paranoid, there is a real problem that needs to be addressed for the safety of those four young children. This mother is definitely irresponsible. You need to notify child welfare. Something needs to be done before one of the children get seriously hurt. It is totally unacceptable to leave 4 children 4 and under at home for any reason. I don't know her situation, but there are some problems that need to be addressed.

Answer 6

It sounds like you should make a call to the police or child protective services. They can investigate and see what's going on. In the future if something needs to be done it will be helpful to have a history of reports.

Answer 7

You should NOT confront her. If you SAW her leave the kids unattended, then you should report this and your other suspicions to the Child Welfare office, or whatever agency it is that you have in your country. If you are not able to decide which agency that is, then call the police and inform them. Do NOT get personally involved beyond that.

Answer 8

Over the past 50 years, the average area a child can explore and play in has decreased from several square miles to slightly less than one back yard.
Children are capable of considerably more independence than you might imagine, and adventure is an important part of a child's upbringing, one that is too often neglected these days.

And if one of her children is eaten by a bear, well, if she's such a horrible mother it won't make anyone too upset.

Answer 9

Perhaps it is a neighbourhood that is more rural from the one you are coming from. I would not engage in the gossip and perhaps the neighbourly thing to do if you can is suggest you mind the kids whilst she runs to the store.

If you are not certain about some of the things you are alleging then you maybe part of the gossip.

Answer 10

I would suggest you only take any action at all based on personal factual knowledge of serious and persistent neglect. Generally, we all benefit from letting each other have plenty of leeway in how we run our lives, and in particular how we bring up our children. Do you like to think that your neighbours are standing by to be sanctimonious or legalistic about every aspect of your life?