pleassse answer..?

Question

Hey all....
me and my guy have been dating for 2years now...and our relationship has gradually taken the turn towards de physical thing...i told my mother almost three times that v both r in love n that we want to get married after i graduate...n she plainly said no coz he has a social and financial status lower than mine...i tried breaking off with him so many times before...but we land up coming bak together again...i dont want to hurt my mother by being selfish...but wat do i do with my own heart??!!
anyways..now that we've got bak...we've been kissing each other, hugging each other etc..which i know is fine...but yesterday he took me to bed..nuthing happened other than him taking his top off n mine...n kissing me on my face n boobs.i'm really freaked out on this...i have this gulit in me that i did someting wrong, even though it was not sex...my parents are more important for me..what do i do...???
my guy wants to get married n he has made that clear...hopin u'll understand me..

Answer 1

Ok, so here's the thing, your mother needs to get over herself because you are not her and she can not have you do what se wants you to do in life, your whole life. Life is too short and you should enjoy it, not be controled like a robot. Getting married is a very serious thing in life and I don't think you are ready for it yet because you broke up with him because your mom didn't like him, then you got back together and not you want to ask a question but for whatever reason you feel like giving us details. A person ready for marriage would not give details, they would just say that they got intimate and now feel guilty for doing it because of their mother. Honey, if your mother is controling you so much that you feel bad for being intimate with your boyfriend, that is not a good thing, your mother may push you so much that you may do something stupid.
Also a person's financial life should not influence on weather you should be together or not, what should count is how hard workking he is, does he save more money than he spends, does he live alone or with mommy and daddy? There are many things for you to analyze besides that. You should not get married to a dead beat, who has no job, no money or nothing, but if this guy is a hard working man, who saves his money, who wants to marry you and give you a good life, if he is someone of morals, and someone who has been honest and lovely, respectful of you for the entire relationship, than why should you break off the relationship? Here is a way for you to know if a man is going to be a good husband. If he wants to marry you, you must know or have met his family, see how he gets along with his mom, if he treats his mom with love and respect that is a good man, a good husband is a good son.
I think getting married is too soon for you two. You should wait a little, get to know each other a little more, grow together as boyfriend and girlfriend, and if you feel like taking things to an intimate point, that should be your decision, just make sure you ALWAYS use a condom and take birth controls, only condoms or only birth control is not enough. Know your partner, know that he is healthy and only yours, because every person he slept with will sleep with you if you take it to that step. You can talk to your OBGYN (gynecologist) and ask him or her questions and ask for your questions to be between you and your doctor only, that you don't want your mom to know.
Your mother should be your best friend, and she should know about everything in your life, but if she is controling you so much that you feel guilty when being with your boyfriend and if she is trying to take you away from the man you want to be with, then maybe right now is not the moment for you to share certain things with her.
Maybe you should talk to her and make her understand, the only way you can learn is by making mistakes, and she surely does not want to be responsible for you being unhappy and away from a person you care about so much. If you do decide to take it to the next step with him, ask yourself; Is he a hard working man? What are his intentions with you? Is he a man who saves money or spends more than he has? Does he have a lot of bills to pay? How about his family, do you know them? Does he love and respect his mother and your mother, because even though she is against you two being together she is stil your mother and he should repect her, because in the end of the day she only wants what is best for you?!? How long have you been together and do you fight more than you enjoy your times together? Do you think you two are mature enough for marriage? Is he a selfish person or is he a giving person? But be honest, I know it is a lot of questions to ask yourself, but it is better to suffer for the ending of a relationship with a boyfriend, than the end of a marriage. It is not as easy to end a marriage as people think it may be, it is the end of a dream, time and emotions put into someone, into a relationship, so think a lot!
If you know in your heart that you love one another, is the answer to the questions above is yes, then why not give it a shot, but I think marriage is too soon. You want to graduate what? college? If you are old enough than yes, et engaged, if you are a teen be careful. And know, your virginity is something way too special for you to loose with someone who does not deserve it fully. Value yourself and others will value you!!!
And talk to your mom, tell her you are yourlsef, not her and that you are mature enough to make your own decisions because she taught you well, and that you love this guy and want to be with him. She has to understand, but be gentle. Also before marrying this guy, analyse if you realy love him, are you ready to be a wife? A housewife? do laundry, cook, clean. Having a husband is not just about being his Mrs. it is like having a child sometimes, they require too much atention.
Ps; Even if you are not a virgin, which I think you are, from what I understand it is your first time with him, so you are a virgin with him. (lol)

Answer 2

The fact is that if you do not take control of the situation the law of diminishing returns will take control. Which means that each time you spend time alone with each other, you will want more stimulation and go further until you become another statistic. If your parents really care about you, then you really should pay attention to them. They are looking out for your best interest.

Answer 3

at first crossing to breeds of dogs isn't a hybrid a hybrid is a pass between 2 species no longer 2 distinct varieties of the comparable species. A wolf/dogs or a coyote/dogs could be a hybrid. kin breed a/kin breed b is a mixed breed aka a mutt. My well known mixed breed is a sturdy previous trend shield mutt proper a working or herding combination or a bully breed

Answer 4

It's inappropriate to engage in this kind of activity until you are married. I think you know that. I think it's a good idea for the two of you to not spend too much time alone from now on. If you want to marry this man and you think it's a good decision after considering all the relevant factors, marry him. If not, maybe it's time to break up and move on.

Answer 5

weird.. that was a so-simple problem, dear. yes, heart matters, and you know it. u've said that ur parents are more important than him, then why don't stand on what you believe and what your heart tells u to do? by the way, haven't u understand the way your boy treat u that night? pre-marital "sex" or whatever it didn't happen anyway is a sure sign of lust and irresponsibility.. as i've said, heart matters.. and i'm not so suire about his sincerity.. know what? wait (wait and not look for) a guy who is faithful in little things so he can eventually handle greater things.. a man who loves God.. i can guarantee you that..

Answer 6

OK girl. back off a little. If he really loves you he won't get you so far that you feel guilty. Be wise and keep the distance. Keep out of troble. Be honest with him. If you can't then this ain't love. Don't make yourself so cheap.

As far as your mother is concerned, does she love you?? Is his financial situation and status really the reason or does she really want you not to sell yourself so cheap.

Answer 7

You have done nothing wrong and no need to feel guilty. your mothers reason for you not wanting you to date him is very judgmental. it dosnt matter what he has or hasnt got if he is the one for you then thats your choice and your mother has to stand back for a while, if he is not right for you then you have to decide and realise that for yourself.
I would have a lot of respect for him because thats only what he did with you in bed and he didnt try and push sex on you

Answer 8

It is not just wanting to get married, it is doing it and making it work. Tell him that and see it yourself. I think you two are young, so to make a couple and get married many things are required. My best tough is give it time and wait a while.

Answer 9

true love is not only about kissing etc but about feelings deep down in your heart an soul an how you feel when your together an so if you truely love him with all your heart then follow your heart an feelings an marry him

Answer 10

It sounds like you already answer your question, if your parents are more important and you don't feel comfortable doing the things you are doing, just dump him, and be happy, life is simple, don't try to complicate it.