what must i do if i have these gay impulses and interests in me now that i'm an adult which most likely sprung from my childhood history of being sexually exploited? i enjoy gay porn to release my urge, male encounters also but i just don't like the feeling after though i look straight and deep in my mind I wanna be straight, i just give in to temptations so quickly. what must i do? i wanna have a family. i really really really don't want to be gay (no offense to the gay community) all my life but i don't know how to escape or just live with it?
2007-10-08 21:06:42 · 4 answers · asked by Terrence 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You have asked a lot in the question, and although I wish I could answer it all, I am not a mental health professional, nor am I gay, so I cannot give you any first hand or professional advice. I would not have posted, except that I felt that some of the advice from other posters was not good. Being gay is not a mental illness or a lifestyle, and if you are indeed gay and live a life in denial, I think you will regret it. Of the gay people that I have known, the ones who were happiest were those who were open and accepting of their sexual orientation, and who lived in loving committed relationships.
I would recommend that you go to a counselor, and not one that is from an antigay religion, or one that specializes in turning people "ungay". There are a number of things that only you can decide for yourself, but a good counselor without an agenda can help you. You need to figure out if you are indeed gay, or if you are bisexual, or if you are heterosexual. You also need to figure out if, in your current mental state, you will be able to have a loving, committed relationship to another adult (the reason I say this, is victems of sexual abuse can need sometimes need therapy to help them get to this point). Then if you are gay, you need to find out why you want to be straight. What are the things about being straight that you want and what are the things about being gay that you do not want. If you want to get married and raise children, you can do that if you live in a state that allows same-sex marriage and adoption (I have known people who have and are quite happy).
In the meantime I would recommend you do more research. Posting, or at least reading posts, in the gay section of Yahoo! Answers would be a good start.
I wish you the very best of luck.
2007-10-09 15:28:05 · answer #1 · answered by Phineas Bogg 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
most people today think that being gay is nature, not nurture. young males that have been abused sexually by other males do not necessarily turn out gay, and most do have have heterosexual relationships later on in life. these gay impulses you have may not necessarily be the result of you being exploited at a young age. you may be simply just gay. you are not the only person who does not want to be gay. some religious organizations do offer help to "change your ways", but i personally feel that your life may be a lie, and it is a very difficult urge to fight as you are going against your own "nature" which is to be gay. i know of a lot of men who are in their later years, who chose not to accept their gay lifestyle, either because of society, or religious beliefs, get married, have children but eventually give in to their gay urges, and end up seeking out boys and hurting their wives, and children. whatever you decide to do , i wish you luck. you have every right to be happy in your life wether you are gay or heterosexual, and perhaps you must face the fact that you may not be able to have children in your life, and perhaps that is the way it is, and you have to make the best of your life as possible. hope this helps.
2007-10-09 07:52:29 · answer #2 · answered by zeek 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a social worker said that when a man touches a boy that his body reacts because that is how our bodies were made. so, they get mixed feelings and gender confusion. which is why they prosecute more strictly when it is a man touching a boy case. i know how you feel, except it's the other way for me since i'm a girl. but i am straight, it's just hormones whenever i feel like that about looking at breasts. personally i think if men were meant to be gay, then two men would be able to have a child together, because that is the main purpose for attraction. anyway, you could talk to a counselor about it if you don't want to be gay, they could help you on that.
2007-10-09 15:53:48 · answer #3 · answered by Cirque Du Freak 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a mistake to try to tie up your whole identity in what people you are attracted to. I am so sorry for the abuse that happened to you in your childhood.
Here is a website of resources that can help you to understand this issue:
http://www.lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem.3933737ad2ff28132eb22a86942826a0/?vgnextoid=bbd508f54922d010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&index=19&sourceId=096d19a4e80b2110VgnVCM100000176f620a____
I wish you a happy future.
2007-10-09 04:12:17 · answer #4 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋