My last bf bought me expensive clothes and shoes, most of which he picked out. He spent thousands on gifts, airline tickets (although never first class), dates, etc., in the eight months he dated. But I always felt like just a piece of arm-candy, and I never had any say in the trips or other stuff. I mean, once he walked into a formal gown boutique (very exclusive, appt only) and dropped $4000 on two gowns (we only needed one for the charity gala we were attending, but he liked two of them, so he said, why not?). Keep in mind, I'm a poor mother of two who would have loved a sofa, a new flute (I'm a music teacher and my flute was stolen a couple of years ago; believe me, I hinted!), or even a used car for that money. I have no use for the gowns in my closet now. He was controlling in all ways: bedroom, relationship, etc. Nightmare bf. Should I watch out for men with money?
2007-10-08 19:11:42 · 7 answers · asked by nondescript 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh, and he made sure early on to let me know he would never marry again, though I know I would like to remarry someday. He would keep me on tenterhooks by breaking up with me on whims or threatening to at the least (usually imagined) slight to his ego.
2007-10-08 19:13:03 · update #1
I dunno, invincible. He said he loved me. That's supposed to distinguish it from a conventional employer/employee relationship!
2007-10-08 19:18:19 · update #2
Besides, if I were getting "paid for sex," shouldn't I have some say in how the money is spent? Don't mean to be cynical, but even a McD's employee gets to choose how to spend her $100 at the end of the month!
2007-10-08 19:20:42 · update #3
And you are complaining...
Send him this way, I know how to train them to paper.
If he doesn't beat you or the kids and he likes to throw $$$ your way, let him.
So sell the gowns at your local consignment shop. Some men don't take hints, you have to come out & tell them what you need.
2007-10-08 19:19:03 · answer #1 · answered by ♫ Bubastes, Cat Goddess♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I'm paying for it; darned straight I want it my way. If you want control, perhaps you should be the one shelling out the bucks!
If you just spent $4000 on a boy toy; wouldn't you want to be the one in charge? Surely, you'd want some sort of return on your investment...
2007-10-09 02:57:58 · answer #2 · answered by John Silver 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why shouldn't he be? He should get what he pays for and you should be willing to act accordingly! You want autonomy, you pay your own way...if you were on a job and being paid for work, you couldn't expect to get a check for doing nothing; this is exactly the same thing. You do what you're expected and you get what you want; otherwise, find another employer!!
2007-10-09 02:15:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
not men just men with money. alot of men are this way. i wouldnt call it a control freak versus he just didnt care about your needs and wants. i would say it was more like being selfish. maybe you should try dating someone with whom you have more in common and will see a differnce in behavior.
2007-10-09 02:18:38 · answer #4 · answered by Unsure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. They are paying to have sex with you. They are only interested in protecting their investment.
2007-10-09 02:14:40 · answer #5 · answered by Win Noble 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
poor you
2007-10-09 02:15:16 · answer #6 · answered by Claude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah i guess so.
2007-10-09 02:15:13 · answer #7 · answered by ♥♡♪♫☆♥♡♪♫☆ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋