Do you ever really get over verbal/emotional abuse suffered in childhood?

Question

From my family, kids at school i was verbally and emotionally abused from age 8-14.

I have been to therapy but do you ever get over it for good, always find i get some type of flashback.

Answer 1

Every now and again something will happen that reminds you of a situation. For the most part, many people have something that went wrong for them in childhood. So you move on cuz what else are you gonna do right?

Answer 2

Well, I know what you are going through, I myself have endured much of the same not so grand of childhood. Not only verbal abuse, but physical abuse. I have been through therapy for several years. It's not something that goes away, it just doesn't. But, I have learned to turn the bad things in my life as good lessons. Going trough what I have, it has made me a better person. I know what happend to me wasn't my fault. I had two people in my life that didn't know how to be parents. It was a cycle that they both were repeating. Well, not me, I have taken those oddities of my life & have become not only a great friend, but a wonderful mother, wife, an all around great person. I have chosen to break the cycle! You will come to a time in your life where you are tired of being the victim. You will need to start making some changes in your life, some big ones. If you haven't told the people that hurt you in your life how they have effected you yet, you need to do so. Write it down in a letter, send it. If you can't watch it burn. Then let it go!! You are allowing it to consume your life, I know I did it for 14 years!! Holding on to this will only make your life caotic. You must do this not only for you, but your future children, friends, and loved ones. I know it can be done, you must be willing to work hard for it. Want it that bad. Do not allow this any longer. Only you can put a stop to this. I know you can. :)

Answer 3

I am 16 now and I was molested for about a year from age 13 to 14 and got out of the situation and went for help as well. You don't ever get over abuse completely. The best thing is to work through it by reminding your self that it was the past and it won't happen now that you are safe and away from there. That's what I learned. I still get dreams but they don't bother me now as much the way they did before because I know they are dreams and I am safe and away from that place. Seek help from friends and family and confort in their being there for you. Just try to understand that it wasn't your fault. Don't believe what ever they told you because they are just making you feel bad for something that you didn't do. Tell yourself over and over again whenever it pops up that it wasn't your fault. It's the abuser who is responsible.

Answer 4

I have horrible flashbacks from my childhood too. It isn't fun. but life is a healing process. Try writing it down. I forgive so and so for saying this to me when I was eight. The person doing the abusing is the loser and they only do it to make themselves look better. I n all cases of abuse ,, consider the source. Its probably not even worth being upset over because of the loser it came from. Verbal abuse is the hidden one because you can't see the bruises but it sometimes stays with us longer. So write it all down on a paper. get mad, for give, and then rip it all up and throw it away. Start fresh without all that pain. You can do it. and don't let anyone do that to you again!!!

Answer 5

This is a rough thing to deal with and may take some time. First of all think about that it was a time of growing and learning about life. Some of those people may also had some emotional problems and dumped them on any one who would react to it. You don't have to be young to get into this kind of problem,adults do also. Just remember you are older and have your whole life ahead of you, that what was never has to be again and you may be stronger for the experience. Memories will fade when you let go of yesterday and move into today.

Answer 6

It reaches out and pokes at you from time to time, but as you keep working on getting to know yourself,appreciating who you are and knowing you have worth as a human being outside of their opinions then yes you get past it.
Those flashbacks can shake you up! Learn to expect them and have a "mantra" ready for when they appear! Repeat it to yourself over and over until the old garbage fades. Something like "Jettcity, alive and well!" You can do it!

Answer 7

Flashbacks are usually part of healing...once you get them all - you're nearing the end of new stuff coming up. I advise you stick w/ therapy. You don't really "get over" it, you just learn to deal with the anger/hurt so you can make better decisions in your adult life, and begin to live w/o abuse.

When we're abused we tend to go back to it ( through our actions or our mates) - therapy teaches us how it's ok to take our power back & live life proudly.

Answer 8

I get lot's of flashbacks and when i remember the faces and things being said i get angry and think about revenge. I use to tell myself "success is the best revenge" but i'm average and had problems just accepting myself. Things are getting better for me though, i'm starting to accept myself, my past, my family(that they won't completely change and they do care for me), and don't feel i need to be super human to make up for past. I try to go with the flow now and accept my station in life.

Answer 9

No you don't ever really get over it. You do learn to deal with it. It is a part of you and what makes you who you are. That doesn't mean that it makes you a bad person or brands you. Most often it makes you a more compassionate person.

Answer 10

The best answer I have for you is this......Let's see what Jesus told people to do when others are unkind to them....He said pray for those who abuse you...bless those who curse you....
The best way mentally to rise above this is to do what Jesus said to do.....'
I want to tell you a story...
I had a neighbor who was abusive for no reason, just jealousy.....I would cry about her actions...
Then one day I decided to do what Jesus said....I prayed for she and her husband that God would bless them in every way and give them peace and joy and prosperity.....within 3 months they both were dead and I have wonderful neighbors now........
I'm not saying this will always happen but the best thing to do it pray God's blessings on that person....You will begin to love even those who have hurt you...
God said vengeance is mine and he will take care of unkind people....
Consider have taken that hurt for our Lord and you will get well mentally and even love your enemies.....