when we first got together he knew we were close in a friendly way. 3 mths later,& now suddenly he has a huge prob with it. we only talk like once a week where as it used to be alot more. its causing us to fight but i feel like i shouldnt have to give up a best friend just cause hes jealous. advice?
2007-10-08 18:52:18 · 15 answers · asked by knowitall 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are really that close to your ex and you were friends before you met your boyfriend, then no, you shouldn't give him up. If this is a recent thing, I think you should reconsider it. Is the new friendship worth losing your boyfriend? On the other hand, while I definitely think you should consider his feelings (put yourself in his shoes), you should not let him bully you, especially with friends. If you let him make this decision, pretty soon he'll be making other decisions for you. Perhaps soon all male friends will be off-limits. Talk to him without arguing, and ask why it suddenly bothers him. Consider whether his reasons are valid, and what you are willing to put up with for love.
P.S.- Jealousy is not an indication of love. It's an indication of insecurity.
2007-10-08 18:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend's just jealous, and maybe a little insecure, knowing that you and your ex had something before. It's kinda inevitable. But at the same time, however, he can't get mad at you coz of the people you chose as friends. It's not his right to be like that.
You can still stay friends with your ex, but back up a little. Spend a tad less time with him, and more with your bf. Prove to your bf that you have feelings for him and not for your ex.
2007-10-08 19:19:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as there's nothing still between you and your ex and you really are just friends, then yeah, your boyfriend just needs to get over it. And he probably will eventually. Especially since he knew you were friends to begin with... It's probably just a pivotal point in your relationship and he's freaking out about something and grasping at straws.
Otherwise... that's really a "figure it out for yourself" thing. No one can give you a solid answer, because it really depends on so many personal and emotional factors.
If it were me, and it came down to someone I had long been close with and friends with vs. someone I've only been dating for 3 months? The old friend would stay, the new flame would go.
And yeah... definitely talk to your boyfriend and figure out why it bugs him now but not 3 months ago.
2007-10-08 19:02:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most of the answers you have gotten seem to be similar to mine so I can' t be that far off on my advise.
That is certainly understandable! Put yourself in his shoes, if it is possible, think how he must feel and suppose you loved someone and they just kept on hanging around there X, and wouldn't stop even though you couldn't get over it. There would be a knot in your gut every time you saw them talking or hanging out!!! If you care anything about your current boyfriend and clearly you are aware of his feelings, then you should do everything you can to make him feel more secure! You can't have your cake and eat it to! If you continue to "BE BEST FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX" then you will certainly never have a lasting relationship with another guy. It is just not appropriate. Sorry if you don't like my answer but you have to put more into your relationship and stop being so uncaring of his feelings. YOU WILL LOOSE HIM ! If you can't live without your EX then you should go back with him. GROW UP...
2007-10-08 18:54:44 · answer #4 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell your boyfriend nothing can come between you, you love him, and he doesn't need to be jealous of an ex, just because your friends. Tell him to picture it like this, your ex is about as equal as one of your girl friends, he might understand its simply a friendship and nothing more. If he cares about you, he will see reason and calm down.
2007-10-08 18:56:06 · answer #5 · answered by Nic Jane B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is jealous is because he loves you. Sometimes jealousy becomes wrong because it is going over certain limits. You are the only one to decide if he is jealous for nothing or not.
First of all you have to decide if your boyfriend is the best you can get and maybe take it from there.
2007-10-08 18:57:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know...
I'd feel uncomfortable about it too
Unless if you can maybe communicate to your ex in front of him to prove him wrong. Alot of guys can't take this easy... As being friends with girls usually is not really the case...
Try to talk to him about it... if you were to go out with you ex, try to include your B/F... it should ease abit of tension
2007-10-08 18:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by Huang K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok. you and your ex are still friends, right? this, to him, means that even though you've broken up, there is something about him that you can't fully let go of. so, his insecurity is solely based on this: because you are friends (and what i just explained), he thinks that there is a chance that you may go back to him, even if you know deep down that that is not the case. sit down and confront him on his insecurities, and you should have a better relationship.
2007-10-08 19:38:37 · answer #8 · answered by Yeah... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boys are always jealous when they find there gf starts talking to their ex-bf's.Its a fear they will lose them.
2007-10-08 18:59:44 · answer #9 · answered by agape 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say that i get mad when my bf talks to any of his ex gfs its just i never feel good enough like hes comparing me to them or something or he might leave me for the idk but think about it if the tables were turned ad how u would feel
2007-10-08 18:56:42 · answer #10 · answered by wyldefire83 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋