When my kids start fighting back, I don't know what to do. What should I do?

Answer 1

It is always important to be strict with your rules especially if you are right. Try to weigh your rules if they are fair both for you and for your child. Sometimes, some rule could be overprotective that it hinders the growth and development of the child but if you think that the rules you have impose is reasonable enough, then be strict about it.
You cannot really say that you can avoid having a fight with your children, when they fight, impose your sanction or punishment then send them to their room. Don't try to talk to them at this tiems, since whatever explanation you will offer, they will not understand. Try to talk to them after a day or two when they are not in the height of their emotions.
Try to keep up for the fight by spending quality time for your kids, but be consistent about it. As for my experience, it really helped that we spend Sundays together in the beach, the ill feelings I have with my parents goes away when they treat us to the beach. Of course it doesnt have to be the beach, just spend quality time with your kids CoNSISTENTLY to open up the communictaqion between you.

Answer 2

You´ve obviously gotten a lot of good advice so far. You´ll have to take the stuff that feels right for you - not everything works for everyone. In short, you won´t be able to change your patterns of bringing up kids overnight, even if you want to. I agree with the others, that if the kids are still pre-puberty, you must remain the boss, and there is nothing wrong with them knowing that. If they are already "pubating", I think one has to stay in the boss´ chair but use slightly different tactics. In all cases, but especially in the latter, I find it especially important to "rule the nest" but avoid confrontations when possible. These are usually power struggles, and when anger gets into it, you know it will get NOWHERE. I asked a "pro" a similar question, she said that I have to decide which rules are important (worth pushing through), stick to it, and let there be consequences it they are broken (you have to think of appropriate consequences beforehand, and they have to be realistic). If after that you let them get away with breaking this rule, they will not have much respect for you as an authority.

Often avoiding angry confrontations is all in the delivery - if your teen has come home after the agreed time AGAIN, it is entirely different if you yell,"I can´t believe you did this again! Get upstairs, you´re grounded! And you can forget any allowance this week!"......
or if you look them in the eye and say in a firm but low voice," You´ve come too late again after we agreed this would stop. It´s too bad but you´ll have to cancel your evening plans for the rest of the week - that´s what we discussed would happen if you did this." You are still the boss, but not letting yourself get dragged into any discussions, nor getting into a power struggle.
I subscribe to an interesting parenting magazine, which often has articles on such things, usually containing pretty good hands-on-advice. Most of it is online, so check out the link, if you like (there is also a section on Behaviour and Development, and sections for different ages). Good luck!

Answer 3

I think that you really aren't giving enough information for me to give you an accurate answer. Choice of language is an unconscious process that can sometimes be revealing. You said, "fighting back". Is there an approach being used that encourages a "fight"? At times a parent can feel like they are being unreasonably hard on their children. When that happens we may try to hide our feelings about our self. Most times that will fail. Children are very good at picking up when we don't feel right about our self.That can "provoke" a disagreement. You should let them know that your kingdom (your home) is not a democracy, but, a benevolent dictatorship.

Answer 4

Your house, your rules. You must take charge! You can stop everyone, sit em down and breath for a minute!Then calmly explain what the situation is going to be and the consequences for them not following through.
My best answer when my kids say they disagree is " you don't have to like it, but you do have to do it". If they yell or show aggression I take stuff away. If they have a tantrum they must do so in their bedroom. If they make a mess, they must clean it up. And if they want to talk and explain their reasoning , then I listen and discuss. But sometimes there is no time for this, so everything defers to moms rules!

Answer 5

Start fighting back against you as a parent or against a bully? If it's parent, we use physical training for a punishment system or extra home work. A lot of parents don't agree with us on this but our children are deathly loyal to us. They are 11 and 13 and we haven't seen a stitch of rebellion in them.

Answer 6

If your children are fighting each other you should separate them first and keep them in separate spaces or rooms until they calm down. Afterwards let them know the importance having family. Ask them how they would feel if a stranger was hurting the other. The point is, that is how they are acting when they fight each other.

Answer 7

It doesn't matter if you're kids are fighting back against you or each other a good smack to the backside with something will always set them straight. My mom and aunts now just have to point at their shoe or belt and me and my cousins know to stop. And if you're against then well I don't know what to tell you. It's worked for many generations why stop now?

Answer 8

Don't accept it

You need to let your kids no that you are the boss!

Use time out if they are little

Use groundings
No pocket money
No internet
No phone etc if they are older than 10

Keep it firm but fair and consistant if you are going to use time out then use it every time you need to but use a warning first to give them the chance to correct their behaviour then if they keep acting up put them in time out tell them why they are there tell them "I have put you in time out because you didn't listent to me when I asked you to stop" If they come out put them back without saying a word.

It takes about 2 weeks before you see that this technique works!!!

Answer 9

I am assuming these are teenagers ...

I am 30 and when I was 14 or so I tried to buck up in my mom's face and well, let's just say I got knocked down and couldn't get up. Catch my drift?

Answer 10

How old are your kids? If they are young, you have to lay down the law.

If they are teenagers, ground them, and tell them to get over it. All teens rebel, and it's just a phase.