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My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this
past year........

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about
rat **** in the glue on envelopes because I now have
to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs
sealing. also, I now have to scrub the top of every
can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a
sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the
hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me
to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a
long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214
angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena
has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though
I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get
answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends
and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola
because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along
to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my
back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will
drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask
me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill
with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and
Uzbekistan .

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine
because a big brown African spider is lurking under
the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my
bum.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up
the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it
probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting
underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000
people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with
diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this
afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest
your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to
a friend of my next door neighbour's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's
beautician.

By the way....a South American scientist after a
lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ
who have infrequent sexual activity always read their
e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

2007-10-08 18:25:02 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

8 answers

That was nothing but WONDERFUL!!!! And yes I read it with my hand on the mouse!!!!!!

2007-10-09 11:07:10 · answer #1 · answered by Deb S 6 · 0 0

I'll give you a 10.

As I read this I did think it was funny because I feel I am on the same mailing lists you are.

I am thankful I have not received the spider under the toilet seat and yes, I had my hand on the mouse...

But allas I don't have a low IQ and I got some last night.... Did you?

2007-10-08 18:43:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I am so happy you posted this, I got out of the McDonald's ball pit to read this & prolly saved myself from being stuck by an HIV infected needle, & now I'm gonna' be rich because a dude I didn't remember I knew is about to be overthrown in his country (that I have never heard of) & he wants to get his Millions into the U.S. He is willing to bite the bullet & give me 2/3's of his $$$ as long as I help him.

Again, TYVM, to repay you I will gladly give you 1/2 of my millions I am about to receive, just e-mail me your credit card # & expiration date so I can cover the shipping fee.

2007-10-08 19:31:04 · answer #3 · answered by Will S 6 · 0 0

Hits home it really does. 9/10 plus a star

2016-04-07 22:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

I am sorry that I can only give you one STAR, you deserve all 10. Going to copy and send on. Magic

2007-10-08 19:03:22 · answer #5 · answered by BRIAN M 5 · 0 0

that was funnyyyyyyy. Oh and by the way, you suck

2007-10-08 18:37:53 · answer #6 · answered by dfalllenangel 2 · 0 0

lol...tts so hilarious! lol...star!

2007-10-08 18:35:06 · answer #7 · answered by yuki_natsuo 2 · 0 0

Your welcome!!

2007-10-08 18:39:52 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0 0

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