I know, I know....I shouldn't be messing around with a married man, but truthfully didn't know he was, til late in the game. I want to be with him, full time, and he claims he wants the same...yet sometimes I have this horrible feeling, when we're making love, that he has just done the same with someone else...(someone else, meaning his wife). He swears on his life, etc, that he hasn't had intimate relations with her since BEFORE we met and started having sex allllllll the time. Of course I want to believe him, what a nice form of flaugtery, yet I'm a realist and know that the odds are stacked against me...Soooo, how do you know if what he says is true...? How could I find out from her, or a friend of his???Any suggestions?
2007-10-08
18:17:50
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19 answers
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asked by
2much_luvin'
1
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Singles & Dating
If he's lying to his wife he's lying to you too. That's just how it is.
2007-10-08 18:21:26
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answer #1
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answered by the Boss 7
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I have done the exact same thing you have done and I wonder if its the same guy?
I watched his email, called all the time, and begged him to leave and to no avail he stayed. He did not love me he was in turmoil and it had nothing to do with me.
First lets ask why a person cheats? anyone? A person cheats because they do not think they are worthy of there partners so they choose to have indiscretions trying to receive validation from the individuals they have sex with. They continue to feel bad and continue with the indiscretions like addicts rather than doing the right thing and correcting there own character.
I am sure he is still sleeping with his wife, she is his wife isn't she? He lied to her why wouldn't he lie to you? Its not personal at all its about the addict and how they cannot control the cluster **** they have created. You must realize getting out now would mean you love yourself. You do not want to put your body or mind through the not knowing, the always wondering, or the long nights of being yet still alone even though you are with someone.
Remember he cheated before you, he will cheat after you and he will cheat long after you are gone. (He's cheating with his wife which is 10 times worse).
Read: Miguel Ruiz ~ The Mastery of Love
2007-10-09 01:30:21
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answer #2
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answered by kim 2
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Personally I think it's wrong to be with someone knowing they have a wife or g/f.
I would re-evaluate your relationship with him.
Why would you want to be with him knowing he's married and cheating on his wife? The same can happen to you with him someday.
No i'm not saying "once a cheater always a cheater".
If you feel it's worth pursuing, then pursue it.
But you need to tell your guy that he needs to break it off with his wife if he wants your relationship to go any further. It's not right what he's doing. No one should be cheated oon, and no one should be 2nd best.
2007-10-09 01:29:12
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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honey, you should never have to worry about whether or not a man is having sex with another woman let alone his wife.... i realize you didn't know until you had already developed feelings but think how fair is it to you that he is doing this..... it isn't, regardless of how much you care for him .... obviously he is a liar because he is married and with you... so seriously you can't tell if they are having sex too... only his wife could tell you that and that is just a place you don't want to go.... it sucks but try to cut your losses while you can before you can get hurt anymore than you already are..... good luck
2007-10-09 01:29:23
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answer #4
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answered by Caitlin P 4
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I would call the wife personally...and come right out and ask her.
That would cure both of you! She probably has no idea and you are just a fool who doesn't care if you wreck a family.
Wait...maybe there is hope for a liar and a self centered woman. Might be the perfect couple!
2007-10-09 01:24:17
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answer #5
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answered by redmane_at_stargazer 3
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Well best way to find out is, when you see him just give him a kiss and go down on him and you can smell sex all over him. But if he bathes regularly well it woudl be hard know unless you can have a window sit at his house.
2007-10-09 01:25:50
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answer #6
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answered by Always ready for anything 5
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Is he seperated from her or is he still living with her?if he is and your instincts tell you that he is still sleeping with her then he probably is. I once had a friend and i felt that he was seeing someone else and he surley was but he laid about it all the time (instinct). Why would you think that he is? it must be some reason.
2007-10-09 01:29:07
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answer #7
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answered by girlfriend 4
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oh its the old we sleep in different bedrooms and dont touch each other senario. move on honey get a grip you said you didnt know he was married that means he lied to you from the start the odds are he wont leave her.good luck
2007-10-09 01:26:07
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answer #8
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answered by nicole l 4
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I tell you what, add me as a contact, and email me personally.... I'll give you six years worth of answers, on why you need to get out NOW!!!!! Take it from another other woman..... cut your losses. It's the last thing you want to hear, I KNOW!!!!! Don't waste six years, he left her, and then me too.... its a sign of selfishness and egomania sorta rolled into one big feel sorry for me, love me, be with me even though I'm married, piece of s**t...... Trust me girl.... trust MMMEEEE
2007-10-09 01:35:10
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answer #9
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answered by ladilasvegas 2
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If he is still married, but hasn't slept with his wife in a while, that is still cheating and adultery.
Not a good thing.
Either he gets divorced or you leave.
That's just my opinion, though.
2007-10-09 01:24:55
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answer #10
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answered by mountain_walrus 2
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if you have choose to sleep with a married man,you should know,he has a double personality,otherwise he has been divoced with his wife or never approach you!!now ask yourself,if it exist a man,in this world who would not like to have sex with more than one woman??
2007-10-09 01:41:39
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answer #11
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answered by sansheo 2
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