How do I talk to my Mom about her old age?

Question

I'm 30, My Mom is 75 now, she had me when she was older, everyone always thought she was 10 years younger but this year I have noticed her old age show. Shes slower, less full of life, etc. She always walked faster than me but now she slows down and at times its hard for her.. Makes me feel sad...
We went to an exhibit, i was parking my car and the attendent asked her if she wanted to wait at the front because the parking space was far, She felt so bad, she was almost in tears and told me " i guess im a little old lady"
I said no, he just wants older people to be safe.

So im not sure how to cheer her up? What do i do? what do I say?

Answer 1

Compliment her. Not so much that it looks obvious. But that's what I do with my Mom. She's the same age as your Mom. People do think she's only in her 50's. She does look young. And I keep her that way. When we go shopping, I pull her away from the matronly looking outfits and pull something out that won't make her look ridiculously young, but something a little more sharp and fashionable, and then I tell her it makes her look young. And as a result, she feels young!! I took her to my stylist one day, a couple of years ago. He gave her a punky, spikey new do and she looked GREAT!! The entire staff mentioned how hip she looked. And I think by looking young and presenting yourself a little younger, you actually end up feeling that way. Nothing is going to make your Mom walk any faster unfortunately, but it might make her feel differently about herself. If any situation like the one you described with the attendent ever happens again, don't let her stand there humiliated, just make a joke of it. "Don't feel bad. He just called me Mam!! What a twit!!" And laugh about it. I've done that before, too. If it's any consulation, your Mom knows she's getting old. And by Gods good graces, we will all experience that ourselves, someday.

Answer 2

I would just reassure her that no matter what her age, 50, 75, 100, that I love her just that same and that she will always be my one and only special mother. Let her know that age is truly just a number, and that 75 is the new 65! Tell her that what matters is that you enjoy each other's company, and so what if it takes an extra minute or two to walk. That's more time you get to spend together :)

Just keep reassuring her that you love her for who she is, and that her age will never change that.

Answer 3

I would approach her with a few concerns. She really needs a couple of wills drawn up... a living will and the other kind of will for after she dies... and she needs to sign an executorship order for you in case she needs immediate help and can't do anything herself.

She needs to gather all pertinent papers together into one place so you can access them. Ask if she has considered this stuff and offer to help her with it all. Get a fireproof lock-box for the important papers.
The next phase will be to put it all together and take her to an attorney to handle the before-mentioned pre-need documents.
One other thing... she needs to get a pre-need funeral plan put together and payments started on it... that will avoid a huge burden on you at a time when you are least able to deal with it intellectually. Start taking notes on what she wants.

My dad died at age 76 this year... it was a sudden heart attack... he was active and mentally sharp to the end. Most of the funeral arrangements had been made pre-need years ago. He had notes as to what music and flowers he liked in the envelope with all the funeral policy papers.
Even though he had everything in order, it was still out-dated and Mom still has to deal with probate in some stuff.
Please don't put this stuff off.

Answer 4

Just always look at her as you always have and appreciate her for her strengths and she will appreicate your unconditional love even if every one around doesnt notice her beauty within her age. Dont be sad everyone ages but treat her as special as you always do. and now its your time to nurture. Be her support. Just tell her when this happens, Mom, this guy just doesnt know who you are like I do. He doesnt know what a spit fire you are .

Answer 5

I don't think that it's really necessary to talk about her age because that is too depressing.....But you can do different activities with her which will make a positive impact on her life........Life is not about the age but it's about the positive memories and accomplishments that one has in it.

Answer 6

Talk about you getting older and not as fast as before. Always talk about older age as if it is yours you are talking about. she will digest it with less pains. I know it is very delicate . I am 64 and my gran daughters, try to tell me that I am not as fast as I use to be. I took the pill with a smile.

Answer 7

just get strate to the point