What is point of being attracted and wanting to experience love IF you don't have required personality?

Question

I'm 27 male. think about women all the time but there has never been any women in my life at all. I also almost never or never come in contact with beautiful women.

People say "Be yourself" So i'm myself. i like being quiet but to get girls to be interested in you , ou have to be outgoing and social. So be yourself is such a lie.

So i like being quiet, so i'm not going to change i dont' want to change. but yet i'm still in need of love and i'm still attracted to girls and dream of them. Is there a point to me having feelings of wantng love if i'm not what is needed to get love?

Answer 1

Ask yourself who are the women that I want to meet. For example, do you think that women have to be beautiful on the outside in order to date them? As most people should know, you should not judge a person by the way they are on the outside. Would you want girls to not date you because of how you look?

Another thing to remember is yes, be yourself. But at the same time, in order to meet someone, you do need to be outgoing. Not all the time, but at least talk to girls so they can get to know the wonderful guy that I am sure you are. Girls like nice, quiet guys. My boyfriend is very easy going, on the quiet side. But when he is around friends with whom he is comfortable, he is the life of our party. lol

Answer 2

You need to make a little bit of separation between what you need to do for courtship and what you need to do in a relationship. It really is important to be yourself. But if being yourself means that you never make enough effort to meet a potential partner you will always have to be alone. Don't let this happen to you. You obviously don't want to be alone. You will need to make some effort to meet women. How can you do that? Well, there are organizations that can help you with that, such as "computer dating" or things of that nature. Another way is to join organizations for activities, causes, etc that interest you. Like an environmental, political, gardening, or outdoor group. What do you like to do besides being quiet?

Being quiet is not a barrier to meeting women. Staying home is. Remember: You already know everyone there.
So you will need to go out of your way to work at being where people are, particularly women.

And remember, you don't need to consider only "beautiful" women. You need to consider any women who could be a good fit for you. As far as attractiveness goes, people pretty much pair up with partners who rank at approximately the same level. So if you are a "five" in looks, you will most likely pair up with someone who is a three to a seven, rather than a ten. It's not a rule. That's just how it usually works.

So, go out and meet some people. And keep on doing it until you find a partner to be content with. It can be a lot of work, but when you are successful you will think it was worth it. Doesn't it beat staying home and just thinking about women?

Answer 3

Aw you sound like such a sweetheart Well, for one thing, it's definitely not because of what you look like. And secondly, I think you just answered your own question. You haven't kissed a girl yet because you're not looking for meaningless hook-ups. You want something meaningful and special, but she just hasn't come along yet. I find that really admirable actually. I'm 16 myself and I've never kissed a guy. And sometimes I feel like I should just hook up with some random guy because, well, I'm already 16 and haven't yet! But knowing that there's really sweet guys out there like you makes me want to wait until someone special comes along. So, just don't worry about it too much. You're definitely handsome, and you sound really sweet, so it's only a matter of time until you get that first kiss of yours.

Answer 4

Well, there's a difference between "being yourself" and "being your best self." Are you just "yourself" on a job interview? (Do you have the job you want?) You have to be a little more friendly if you want to make friends, girls or guys. That's just how it is. If you're too quiet, you make people uncomfortable; they feel like they have to do all the talking. Aim to talk at least 40% of the time in a conversation.

Quiet can be ok. But you have to be nice, and you have to act interested in others. I'm sorry, but that's just how it is. No girl is going to go out of her way to get to know some guy who's sitting by himself and acting uninterested in everyone because he's "just being himself." K?

Answer 5

Dude you know I'm not gonna lie, yes you do have to be outgoing from time to time. However really if are still quiet as you start to get to know people I'm sure you get a little more talkative. Maybe try being friends with the woman first, best relationships always start with friendship.
Try focusing on friendships and worry about love later, not like you're that old, still only 27 dude.

Answer 6

You don't have to be outgoing or loud at all to find women. I'm sure while you are sitting with people around you, you hear conversations or are in a group of people talking about things. And as you hear things, there are witty and good comments that race through your head. The key is to just interject one or two of these into the conversation. 5 seconds of the right interjection can easily outweigh 5 minutes of someone spouting off.

I worked as a bartender for many years and I never had time to really carry on an extended conversation with any women, so I lived off from the quick witty comments that I could through into their conversations to get their attention.

Answer 7

Dude, I hear you. I am the quiet type too. I consider myself average looking. Not ugly and not all that, but some how I have had realy good looking girl friends in the past. I had a wife that was just, well, above my class in looks but she turned out to be someone that liked to get around (if you know what I mean). The world is how you precieve it to be. So enjoy things that make you feel good to do until you find the one that you can share those things with.

"momma always said, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get" LOL

sad thing is, it is true. even if you plan for one thing, it can turn out to go another. but dosen't mean that it is a bad thing either.

Answer 8

Just because you are not outgoing, does not mean that you don't have what is needed for love. You're looking too hard. "Be yourself" is not a lie. If you're not yourself, and you do meet someone, how do you think she'll feel when she finds out you weren't being yourself? Not all women like social, outgoing men. Some prefer quiet, reserved men. And if you truly want love, remember that beauty fades, but if you love someone for who they are, that will remain.

Answer 9

Ok, i think i get you. How can you be yourself when you don't even know who you are?

To be likable, you got to like yourself first. If you were someone else, would you find yourself interesting? Would you be a good friend?

I think you should start with friends before a romantic relationship.

What are the characteristics that you want in a friend or partner? You got to be that too. You want a thoughtful friend? Are you thoughtful? Practice. practice with your officemates. You never know, when they discover you as a real great guy, they might be the person who will introduce you to the right girl.

Answer 10

Yea, be yourself. And some girls like the quiet, innocent type of guys. There is someone out there for everyone. Start with dating websites honestly man, get to know people, tell people how you are, etc etc. From then on, you should be good to go with the girls and who knows, you may find your true love on a dating website man.