I want to know if I'm overreacting. When I was in college, I had a "friend with benefits." We'd been hooking up since High School, and it went off and on for several years. I had never said no to sex to him before, but when I got a serious boyfriend in the later aspect of undergrad I stopped things...or so I thought. Well one night when I was home at my parents for a weekend this guy decided to sneak in my room for a little... you know...late one night (this guy is a family friend and has a key to my house). He woke me by kissing me and trying to have sex with me. I told him "no, we talked about this I have a bf and I'm not going to do this anymore." In the end, he didn't listen and pinned me down. My parents were in the next room and I didn't want to wake them up (this is because he is a family friend and he works for my father, it would cause so much drama). So I just gave up. We'd had sex before, is it really rape? Years later, it still bothers me & I have MAJOR trust issues w/ guys
2007-10-08 16:25:16 · 18 answers · asked by katherine w 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sounds like rape to me
2007-10-08 16:30:39 · answer #1 · answered by Terry S 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it is rape because you told him NO and he didn't want to listen and seens you couldn't stop him you gave in. I am not really sure though but I guess if you said no and you were serious. Still why would your parents give him a key not a smart thing to do and what a creep sneaking in your room kissing and wanting to have sex wit u.
2007-10-08 23:34:41 · answer #2 · answered by Angie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is rape for sure. And you should have yelled and screamed and made noise. I know you didn't want the drama from your folks but seriously, if that dude forced you to have sex with him then it was rape. I mean if you told him that you wanted to end things because you were currently seeing someone and he didn't listen to you then for sure it was rape. Because it doesn't matter what relationship you had prior to the incident. If you said you didn't want him touching you in a sexual way as you are currently with someone he took advantage of you. But that being said, I say you shouldn't torment yourself now about the matter, because you can't turn back time and get that moment back. If you didn't want it to have happened you would have called for help. There is no sense crying about it now. Just have to move on and be lucky that you never got pregnant or got any other nasty surprises from him.
2007-10-08 23:52:51 · answer #3 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It does not matter if you had a past sexual relationship or not, you said no, and he proceeded to pin you down.
It is rape, he took advantage of the fact that you did not want to cause trouble.
Since it is still bothering you and causing you to have trust issues, you should be getting some counseling in order to help you move on.
Does this scum still work for your father, and is he still a family friend? I hope that you do not have to deal with him at all, that would be horrible.
I hope that you get the help that you need and can live a good life in the future.
2007-10-08 23:34:20 · answer #4 · answered by Sue F 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes that is rape. Rape is a person forcing you to have sex against your will. This is what he did, I am so sorry! Yes you were raped he should have respected you enough to not force you to have sex. You gave up that still does not make it right he should have stopped when you asked him to. Once again I am so, so very sorry that happened to you.
2007-10-08 23:57:11 · answer #5 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you refused & he still advanced. Plus you told him in advance it was over he should of stopped there. It was premeditated because that was his main goal when he got in the house so he did commit a major crime.
I'd tell someone close to you before you get a boyfriend, who may cross your "boundaries" and you freak out on him. Even though you may still like him.
2007-10-08 23:35:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No means No so technically it is rape. It's a shame and i don't really understand guys that do this. If you tried to tell it, he probably would have lied on you to your parents. I'm sorry you had to go along with that. It's so crazy. No you are not overreacting!!!!
2007-10-08 23:35:25 · answer #7 · answered by classy sophomore 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From the look of it yes. But my answer is according to my feeling. The best anwer is that u consult a lawyer. They can help and guide u too. After u get their advice then u think what u should do the next step. But for u info...if i am ur bf and i know this thing happen.... sure i will kill that guy.
2007-10-08 23:35:01 · answer #8 · answered by workingbear 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like yes. Have you thought about talking to a rape counselor?
National Sexual Assault Hotline • 1.800.656.HOPE
It's free and confidential they could probably give you advice on how to cope.
2007-10-08 23:36:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sweetie, that was rape. He intruded on you (you didn't invite him in your room), pinned you down, and you said NO. Whether or not you choose to report it, you need to see someone about it - some kind of therapist who will help you to heal from this. God bless! â¥
2007-10-08 23:33:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry you had to go through this! that is horrible! I'm almost positive it would be considered rape, tell someone that you do trust. maybe get a physcologist to help you with your trust issues.
2007-10-08 23:31:23 · answer #11 · answered by Sara 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋