Okay so here's the deal. My oldest brother passed away last year. He and I were very close and of course it hit me pretty hard. He had a business, but my sister-in-law didn't really have a handle on the finances so I volunteered to pay for the headstone and the flower spray. All told about $2000. I did it for my brother because I loved him and for no other reason.
So a couple of days before the funeral my sister-in-law tells me that she already has the pall bearers picked out, two of her brothers and 1 of my uncles. In addition she tells me that she has decided not to put the names of me and my brothers in the paper because my brothers are, frankly, thugs.
At the funeral I felt like a complete outsider, like a funeral crasher, no one even acknowledge that I existed. I realize that she had just lost her husband, but I thought that the whole deal was kind of shitty.
So should I feel bad about being a little hurt and angry about this?
2007-10-08 15:24:51 · 7 answers · asked by kmcpmgoodson 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Although she was married to your brother, you were his blood relative. You had just as much right as she did to be at the funeral, and you deserve (at the very least) to have your name written in the paper. No one should feel like an outsider at their brother's funeral.
2007-10-08 15:37:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to BE angry but you have got to let it go. It's already been a year, right?
If you bring it up and ask for an apology, what good would it do, really?
I'm really sorry about your loss, especially as the holidays come up.
My advice is to let it go and if you can't, first ask God to help you and seek some kind of counseling, whether a priest, pastor, rabbi or "professional."
2007-10-08 15:41:25 · answer #2 · answered by autimom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He was your brother and the widow is a #@&!. How dare she 'pick' pallbearers when you have the right to do this last thing for your loved brother. Where I come from this would never happen because its disrespectful and against the teachings of my people.
2007-10-08 15:47:23 · answer #3 · answered by cats mother 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should not feel bad at all, she was wrong. She should have put you and your brothers names in the paper, and you should have been one of the pall bearers
2007-10-08 15:44:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with everyone above. A brother has much right to be at his brother's funeral as his wife's.
2007-10-08 15:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by longd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well am not sure what you can do about it? i mean she left you out and that is sad. i mean you are a sister and helped pay for it. think she was mean for it but oh well it was done and nothing you can do and nothing to really fight about that is only people and names therefore let it go heck there are so many reasons to argue and life is too short to do this take care.
2007-10-08 15:40:41 · answer #6 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you trying to deal with this a year later? tell her how you felt! SAY: I would like to get close with you. like a real family. let her know she is still welcome into your family and your there to talk if she needs a hand
2007-10-08 15:58:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋