Three words, I am stressed. But you have no idea. Everyday I get up and go to work at Panda Express. I wake up at 7:13 brush my teeth till 7:16 and put on that one shirt and pants that I have. Which ironically say “Welcome to Panda Express.” I sit in my car that’s brown with rust, and drive across the street to Panda Express. Where I labor myself for the next 24 hours and eat Panda Express food, while passing out fortune cookies that say “Life is a fun.” So much for that. After laboring at Panda Express, I arrive home and sleep, till the next day. This has been going on for lets see, 15 years? Nope, guess again! More like 25 years!! I need help, my life is too boring. I need someone to jump from behind the window and slap me. Show me the true meaning of life. But sadly all I see behind my window is the crumbs of a cookie. Yes, a Panda Express fortune cookie.
The fortune cookies that I pass out at work, are chanting “Go to the doctor, Go to the doctor.” Who knew fortune cookies could talk. The next day I head over to the doctor.
“Hello”, the doctor says. He smells like Panda Express. I explain him my problem and he tells me that I only have one choice, try out stress relieving candles and meditate while staring at them for 12 hours straight.
“That’s a fine idea!” I shouted at the doctor. He smiled and gave me instructions on where to order some. After two weeks, a box of stress relieving candles come to my door. I decide to start my meditating as soon as possible!
So I get to work and set up the ten candles around myself in a circle. I sit in the middle and starting meditating while staring at each candle for exactly 13.54830 seconds. The colors radiate through my eyes and brain, and soon I can’t even tell what was happening around me. After my time was up, I closed my eyes and decided to go and have a snack and come back and do some more meditating. A Panda Express Fortune Cookie would hit spot!
I picked the top one and opened it. The slip of paper read “Expect the Unexpected.” I tossed the paper aside and gobbled up the fortune cookie. I headed back to the candles and sat in the middle of the circle.
As I was about to start staring at the candles, I heard the rustling of my Panda Express fortune cookies bag. I strained my neck to take a look at the kitchen, and I see my boss from Panda Express eating MY fortune cookies!! I run toward the kitchen tripping on the burning candles.
“What are you doing you donkey?!” I scream at the nitwit. As fast as the man came he left jumping out from kitchen window. My mouth is left hanging open, and I jump right after that mule.
“Ayaaaaaaaa!” I screamed. “Youa betta comaback!” But he was nowhere in sight. I walked back to my house with anger and a puffy face. As I came up to my street, I could see smoke. I took a glance assured myself it wasn’t my house and walked on. When I came to my front door, there were firemen and police everywhere. My house was on fire. As I gasped I fell to the prickly grass and yelled out, “To hell with candles!”
2007-10-08 14:29:15 · 5 answers · asked by مدينا Medina ☪ 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
can you edit this i know it has many grammer errors that i already noticed like the past tense and the cookie hit spot one.
can u make it a little better i mean spaz it up add some literary devices and tell me if it was funny pls :) thanks
2007-10-08 14:30:15 · update #1
I CANT BELIEVE YOU DONT GET IT LOL
OK SO THE CANDLES WERE SUPPOSE TO RELIEVE HER STRESS BUT IT JUST MADE IT WORSE CUASE IT BURNED HER HOUSE. *cough irony cough*
wow ok
2007-10-08 14:36:26 · update #2
It's not so funny...
It's sounds like you are mad about fortune cookies, pandas and candles
2007-10-08 14:37:15 · answer #1 · answered by Huang K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too long and not funny! That is almost as unfunny as Ben Stiller's new movie! Sorry!
2007-10-08 15:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's way too long and I read Oy Veys answer and said no way!
2007-10-08 14:49:22 · answer #3 · answered by ANewLife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was good until the ending. it confused me and ended badly
2007-10-08 14:35:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
erm..... i don't get it.
2007-10-08 14:34:08 · answer #5 · answered by cast.no.shadow 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋