Why is it when someone has a problem with their significant other...?

Question

most of the peoples' advice on here is "break up with them."

Do you think maybe that's why the majority of people end up divorced? Because the majority of people think thats the best solution?

I was always brought up to fix problems with my significant other, not break up over it. I can't think of a single relative in my family who has gotten a divorce, and I probably won't be one of those people who get a divorce.

Answer 1

LMFAO!!! that's so true. the best relationship advice i had ever heard came from a man "don't let a bitter female with no man, tell you what to do with your man". and it's so true. if i want a happy marriage, i need to seek advice from another happy married person. my sister is the same way. i can't talk to her about anything without her bringing up divorce. god forbid i just need to vent about something. "get a divorce and move to SF" what kind of advice is that???

Answer 2

Well I think it is because when people ask a question they only say the negative as a rule. I mean if the guy or girl is cheating, abusing, or like one relationship I was in she was always finding a reason to argue about something, and I mean anything! So in those cases yes I say break up. It is best to be in a good relationship where both feel loved, respected, and trusted. If any of those three things are missing then one or both people are or will not be happy in the relationship. I mean if it is something like you wanted the room painted blue and he wanted it green, then no it would be silly to tell someone to break up. Then I just tell them to reach a compromise, which means both sides give a little to keep each other happy. If one side refuses to compromise on little issues then they should not be with that person because they are being selfish. I think most people just take all the time pointing out all the bad but does not give us a good idea of how the overall relationship really is, so, I mean I can only advise regarding information I have. =)

Answer 3

I make my living listening to peoples relationship problems and sadly the honest info on that is people don't want to listen so they say break-up which translates to I don't want to listen to you being unhappy especially around issues of money sex and time so I will give you a quick answer and maybe you will not bother me with your problems.unfortunately people consider divorce a solution instead of a remedy of last resort after all options have been considered 80% of divorces are about infidelities and divorce rates are higher in no fault states if people were more aware they would say things like I dont have any expirence I dont know how to support you or wow thats painful can I do something for you?a humoruos remark would be are you sure you should be telling me this this sounds like you need a specialist ie therapy but the bottom line is why do people air there greivances on friends like a child and expect to be treated like an adult its work to listen to complaining and remain nuetral and forgiving and forget the whole drama when they show up at your house like nothing is wrong

Answer 4

I happened by this question by accident, but while I'm here, I'll give it a shot.

People have problems a lot of the time either over money, the kids, or some personal traits. It is only when things either won't change, or can't change that you would need to take action. If you keep putting up with it, then when does it stop? When you consider the amount of time that you have given the problem to be adequate, then it is time to take action. Life is very short, and the older that you get, the shorter it is. Enjoy life, and enjoy the people that you are with. If you don't then it is time for a change.

Be happy now, you never know when it is your last day on this earth.

good luck.

Answer 5

I have noticed the "break up" advice a lot too. I am guessing that a lot of the people that answer some of the questions are young and lack relationship experience (judging by some of the immature answers). I do believe that in some cases, breaking up is a necessary evil....some people just aren't meant to be together, as well as abusive or cheating situations. I think people today have become products of their environment and look for convenience...from communication, to food, to relationships. And if they run into something that might require too much of their time...it's easier to discard that problem than work on fixing the problem.

Answer 6

It seems that some people think that if they are not happy all the time, then it's better to ditch the person they are with for someone else, instead of doing the hard work of trying to fix problems and truly come to an understanding about each other.

I'm not saying this is true for all people...I just think that some people find it easier to break up and move on instead of trying to work through the problems and take responsibility for their contribution to the relationship issues.

Answer 7

The people who say to break up with them don't know the complete situation or the amount of love between the two people. I think people divorce because they know they can always start over again if they feel that they aren't in love with that person anymore. Sometimes it's hard to continue dealing with someone, so divorce is better than marriage counseling.

Answer 8

Well in my personal view I don't see the point of sticking around with someone when you have worked it out as best that you can and you know that person isn't going to change and you aren't either. Why make each other miserable by staying together for the sake of the kids or for the sake of lowering your bills. To me that is just crazy. And in the end you are only making yourself emotionally and physically sicker sticking around this person.

And as for the reason why the majority of people get divorced, and this is still my opinion, is because people nowadays don't really stop and think and ask themselves is this the right thing for me, or my future? Is this person really helping me to become a better person or are they someone that will hold me back? No see its important questions like that and several others that people do not ask themselves and do not even discuss with their partners. All they know is oooo wow, we're soooo in love and this and that. But when that first year or 2 passes, they realize they have nothing in common. Or the small things the chick ignored when they were dating actually come out more and more from the guy. Like for example if the guy never seems to clean up his house when she is over. She probably just thinks it was a messy day for him that day or something. Or that he just has a great messy but lived in look to his place. But the reality is the guy is a pure slob. See women try to rationalize things away and not always accept the truth for what it is. Trust me I should know as I do this all the time myself. Even with my own room. And as for guys, they just hardly open up about anything fearing they will get their head ripped off or something for stating their view. So they just zip the lip and hold everything in. So as the marriage goes on and they have kids, one person probably in denial of how their partner really is until they get 8 or 9 years deep into the relationship and that person gets tired and starts picking fights about their partner's habits and character. And the silent partner either takes it or blows up even worse. So usually when a situation gets to be this bad, they decide to divorce, but at times they realize that they can't because they have kids now and can't do that to them, so they stay married and be miserable for the rest of their lives.

So as I stated before if people really took time out to ask themselves what is really important to them and their future and life and what is even important to them and their partner as well before they got married there wouldn't be so many divorces, in my view.

P.S. People get divorced for many reasons, if anyone ever gets a divorce simply because everyone is telling them to do it, and they don't truly think out why they have grounds for the divorce in the first place, then they are no better than a herd of sheep led over a cliff one right after the other.

Answer 9

its like that car commercial, where the guy says that if you dont like your job, its okay, you can get a new one, dont like your spouse get anew one, and so on and so forth...its just easier then a TRUE commitment...
I believe that the majority of people who end up getting divorced just suck at trying to work out problems, that require their full attention, and can not be fixed by telling somebody what is wrong, and having that person figure it out...A relationship needs trust, and it also need both "parties" to be in it. Its not like an assembly line where one person does one thing constantly, and another does something else...it has to me like a team, where everybody does all the work...Just its not everybody, its two people who care about each other and need help with figuring it out. A lot of people have challenges in their lives that they figure it is easier to quite, then to work to make it better...

At least that is my opinion, but what do I know, i fail at "relationships" so many times, and so much, that you can't call them relationships....i hope this has made some sense...also i hope that you can figure this out because it is a great question to ask....

Answer 10

People say that because its the easiest answer. " If you dont like then dont do it". I think that most people end up divorced because they have unrealistic views of marriage. When some people get married they think so much more about the actual wedding day than the marriage. And yes of course there is no stick-to-it-iveness. Romantic love seems always to be conditional. and thats another reason why it might not work.

Answer 11

The divorce rate has actually gone down in the united states in the past few years. Giving up is never a solution to anything, giving up means automatic failure and if a happy marriage is a persons only life goal, how can they be told to give it up so easily and survive? The best solution is the opposite of what humans were made to be, unconditional, and unconditional with love. My only solution to your question about most people giving the advice to "break up with them" is that these people are either bitter from an unhealthy relationship or breakup or they are too young to understand the importance of marriage. Good luck with your relationship and if you love them, please, never give up.