my fiance was absent from his sons life for 2 years. we have been seeing and getting his son every weekend for the past year. he was even with us the whole summer break. now his son is ten years old. we both have been thinking of filing for custody of his son for many reasons. one is he claims that he hardly sees his mother. some more reasons are he claimed that one of her ex's gave him a swirly (head in toilet) and his mom thought that it was funny. he is failing in school and his mom even told us that she didnt have time to help him because she works two jobs. which we recently found that to be a lie. he has had to share a bedroom with his two sisters and at times had to sleep on the couch or floor because his moms friends would come with there kids to stay the night. lately she is complaing that she is having a real hard time with him. and we never have problems that bad with him. she refuses to help with the transpotation when it comes to getting him.
2007-10-08 13:32:51 · 10 answers · asked by wigginsleanna 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
now my fiance has been off work for workers comp. he just got released to go back to work. he just has to find a job. so he wasnt able to pay child support because he had a case where he wasnt recieving any money. workers comp. didnt want to pay. so that left the mother calling and screaming everytime she called. now many times that we picked him up or dropped him off there were alot of guys at the mothers house. one time there were beers bottles everywhere. we have found out that he has had to cook dinner for his sisters because the mother didnt feel like doing it. and there is the suspesion that she may be using a drug. now is any of this a good reason to file for custody? if so can it be done without an attorney and how do we go about getting it and the proof to take to court?
2007-10-08 13:42:42 · update #1
The only problem is that you have prove she's a crack whore or worse before you'll win custody. That's just the way things are. I think you should try to work something out with the mother so that the boy can spend more time with you. Of course I don't know how reasonable she is, but give it some thought.
2007-10-08 13:37:56 · answer #1 · answered by Jonathan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance should go talk to the ex. without his son there. He should say he wants to help in any way possible, and wants to help his son get what he needs. Have him ask her if she would like to have the son live with the father, and visit her. Let her know all the good things you have for him, like his own bedroom, and one of you will always be there to help with homework and keep an eye on him. Just say He wants to have his son around more. We have some trouble like you are having, so I feel your aggravation and hurt. If she is not willing, then get a lawyer involved.
FYI in the state we are in a child can decide which parent they want to live with when they are 13. So if you dont have the money to fight this, you can wait till then. Let the son know that you wish he could stay with you all the time. Let him know he is a part of this new family you two are starting. Good luck
2007-10-08 20:45:52 · answer #2 · answered by T I 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay well you may have a case. I mean custody battles are hard and sometimes they can hurt the child more than help. Yet, if his mother is not taking car of him then you need to get a lawyer and see what he thinks your options are. Yet, have your fiance talk to his son's mom and she how she feels about letting him come stay with you cause things will be much easier if you have her on your side. I know it might be hard to be nice to her or even get along with her, but let her think that your on her side and that you understand that its hard for her and she might bend. But I think you need to go for it and I wish you all the best of luck
2007-10-08 20:41:09 · answer #3 · answered by singer_dolphin 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As a mother of 2 kid's that has full custody, I would assure you that you could possibly get temporary full custody until the mother grows up, maybe thrown in jail for being so stupid.
2007-10-09 12:38:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without an attorney? How would you make a motion before the court? You must have an attorney. Your case could not be brought before the court without the filing of proper documents, and your case must be represented by a member of the bar association in your city/county/state.
You'll need an attorney.
2007-10-08 20:49:18 · answer #5 · answered by artistagent116 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You can't file for custody without the aid of a lawyer and going to court. And in order to prove the mother is unfit you HAVE to have tangible proof. It can't be what the boy says. Beer bottles aren't proof, people have parties, bottles pile up. You have to have proof of drug use etc.
2007-10-08 22:36:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Those may all be good reason to try and take custody but its very hard to do. Also imo you are not married to this guy yet, so I would stay out of it if I were you.
2007-10-09 11:52:59 · answer #7 · answered by his wife 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're fiance needs to do what he thinks is in the BEST interest of the child. These cases often turn into he said she said, he will need to document what happens. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-10-08 21:30:34 · answer #8 · answered by Kat412 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep a record of all the things the boy tells you. If possible, get pictures of his living conditions at his mother's house. I've known a few fathers who have won custody of their children by what a photograph conveys (even if the house is "clean").
2007-10-08 20:44:10 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda M 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
My first problem is that your fiancee is a prick who shouldn't have being absent from his son's life for 2 years in the first place. And now here you are winging about things. Typical.
2007-10-08 20:45:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋