My parents are going to pay for our reception, they don't have cash, how do they do it?

Question

All the places we have been to want personal check or cashiers check for the reception and final payment due two weeks before our wedding day. Even if they made payments, they still can't pay that much cash for the wedding. What are some things that parents do to pay for the wedding?

My fiance's parents will pay for the rehearsal dinner and really that is what they can afford.

We will pay for the dress, accessories, and photography, etc.

Mom wants to take out cash advance but, I think the interest is high, someone else said her parents borrowed against their 401k...I just want a reasonable answer for them. Please help.

Okay, they really do want to pay but they were going to use their credit card to put the chunk of the balance. They just don't have a few thousand laying around. So this question is really from them. Thank you!!!

Answer 1

We recently went through the same thing while planning our daughter's wedding. My husband and I have no savings what so ever, and live pay check to pay check. However, she is our only child and I wanted her to have the wedding of her dreams. We did almost all of the decorations, favors, etc. ourselves. We shopped around for the lowest prices on a photographer, videographer, flower arranger, DJ, caterer, etc. Our daughter and her fiancee paid for what they could, but I wanted it to be a day she would remember forever. The only resource I had was a small pension savings I had received from a previous employer. I withdrew money from that and I know we're going to get hit at income tax time, but that money was the best investment I have ever made. Just to see the smile on my daughter's face and the sparkle and love in her eyes was worth every cent. Believe me, we really did a bargain wedding. In all, approximately $5,000.00. It was approximately 125 guests and all of them thought the day was magical. If I had to do it over again, I would in a heartbeat. If your parents have access to anything like that, tell them it might be worth checking into. If they're in a position like ours, they may not be able to afford another monthly payment on a loan. I wish you and your parents the best of luck. God bless!

Answer 2

Please don't let them take money from their retirement fund or borrow against it to pay for the wedding. They need this to live on. This is their future, and it could be the difference between them being comfortable and impoverished when they are retirement age. Or it could be the difference between them retiring in their 60s or having to work well into their 70s.

Please don't let them run up their credit cards to pay for the wedding. The interest rate is staggering. If they don't have the cash, they will certainly not be able to pay back a credit card balance on a maxed out card.

Please don't let them tap into the equity on their house to pay for your wedding. They will need this for repairs. What will they do when the roof leaks, or the plumbing bursts?

The only way I know to get more money is to work. If they want to take a second job, I suppose they can do that.

Part of being a grown-up is to stop the people you love from hurting themselves for you. Your parents are heading down this road. You love them -- do right by them. Scale back your plans. Cancel the rehearsal dinner, and ask your in-laws if they will can give you the money they would have spent on the rehearsal dinner on the wedding instead.

I'm sorry this is probably not what you want to hear. Congratulations on your engagement, and good luck.

Answer 3

Hi. I don't know what to tell you....except

Tell your mom NOT to take a loan from one of those "cash advance" places....YES....the interest rate is sky high if you keep rolling it over....like 300%!!!

I know you have gotten lots of opinions on this and you are probably now regretting posting this question.....but really....

I feel sorry for both you and your parents if this wedding will put them into some kind of debt they don't need.

I beg you to search Google and look up "budget wedding ideas." I am the "queen" of giving people ideas on how to do a wedding on a budget on YA! Look up all my best answers. The point being....you are engaged to (I presume) a great guy....you want to get married....great....your parents want you to be happy! In the end, no matter WHAT kind of wedding you have....you will be married to that great guy!

~ Why not have something really small?
~ Do you belong to a church? Have your ceremony AND reception at the church?
~ Have something in someone's backyard, or a park?

There are soooooo many alternatives! The bridal industry is telling you that you HAVE TO have this, and you HAVE TO have that.....nonsense!

Research what other brides have done on a budget! Please don't let your parents borrow from their IRA, go to payday cash advance, or take out ANY kind of loan to throw you this wedding!!

Do some research! I will tell you what I tell all the others.....a "budget" wedding is not a "cheap" wedding....there is a difference! You can have things very elegant ON a budget....you just need to be open to alternatives!

Good luck!

Answer 4

I don't know what to tell you. I know some people borrow against their homes (home equity loan) Honestly, if they REALLY want to pay. This might be the best way to do it. My parents did that a while back to pay bills off.

However, it was more favorable in their situation. They bought their house 10 years ago and today it is worth more then double what they paid for it. So, taking equity out would not be a huge loss to them. So, if they sold today, they would make a huge profit, enough that they could easily pay back the equity and still walk with a good chunk of change.

If your parents house isn't worth that much, or if they sold it and didn't make a profit.....then it's a poor investment. If they have the ability to make a nice profit, then this might be favorable.

Answer 5

While having them borrow against credit cards is an option, it's also probably the most expensive option. If they own their home, and have some equity in it, I'd probably take out a home equity loan before I put stuff on VISA. My husband would stroke out before borrowing against our 401K.

Actually, I'd never go into debt for a wedding, period. If I couldn't pay cash, I wouldn't do it. You and your parents need to sit down and figure this out between you guys. I wouldn't want my parents to do into debt for my wedding at all. That's just not a good way to do it. Get a 2nd job, do whatever you can to raise the money, and cut corners and save costs wherever you can, but please don't go into debt for this.

Answer 6

Ok well we all know wedding can cost the earth but then their are ways around this here are some ideas for both you and your perents as well as your partners perents.

- First of think do you want your reception their
- if yes think can you wait to get married so you all can save including yourselfs, Can you and your partner put any money to it and do you need a rehersal dinner (if no the money can go to it)
- If no then choose another place look at halls, clubs out side and familys homes or your own home as a reception place.

My perents want pay for a thing as well as my partners perents they all dont have money and we want them to be happy so we are doing it all ourself sure sometimes we wish they would help out but we dont see why they should if they dont have the moeny.

good luck

Answer 7

I really think you should have a serious discussion about this with your family w/out your fiance. This may be their retirement money, and would you seriously want your parents to spend their life savings on your wedding.

Maybe you should not have a rehersal dinner and put the money towards the wedding. If you have a small wedding party, rehersal dinner is not neccessary.

At my sister's wedding the cost was divided 3 ways. Parents on bride side, Parents on groom side, and the couple. Something to think about....

Answer 8

If your reception is going to put them in debt, I suggest you scale it back. How many people are coming? You really don't need to invite the 200 people a lot of people invite. Think of it this way, each person at a reception costs about $50. Cutting back just 25 people would save your parents $1250. I know this is "your big day", but is it really worth making your parents shell out money they don't have?

Answer 9

be creative. do you and your fiance have cash? if so then let them pay for the items that can be charged and you use your cash to pay for the other things.
most venues do want cash from my experience. i think you should look at your budget and divide it into items that can be charged vs. items that require cash, include the rehearsal dinner. if his parents are paying cash then just ask them to give you the cash and charge the rehearsal dinner.
worst case scenario they cld borow from their 401k or against their home. but don't let them go overboard.

Answer 10

Don't let your parents go into debt over your wedding. I know they probably don't mind but it is more responsible of you to not let them. Just have the type of wedding you can afford to pay for. It is it small then so be it but it is doing the right thing.