Out of the mouths of God's kids
A small boy told a Sunday school teacher: "When you die, God takes care of you like your parents did when you were alive — only God doesn't yell at you all the time."
Anyone have any funny stories of kids in church?
2007-10-08 11:55:00 · 9 answers · asked by sisterzeal 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
My son was at a funeral for a Lady who worked in the Nursery and took care of him frequently! He decided to run screaming and laughing all the way up to the front of the church where we usually sit, and start clibing on and under the pews. Not only was I so horrified and embarrased!! She worked for CPS and ALLLLLL the employees there were at her funeral!! He got lucky lol! My pastor pointed out me as the very red mother in the back LOL!
2007-10-08 12:04:09 · answer #1 · answered by Chrys 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, there was one going around my area of Mississippi about 15 years ago about a well meaning Sunday school teacher who was a bit too fire and brimstone with her grade school age kids. She agreed to change her approach and began the next Sunday with "Hey, before we get started, let's have some fun. Can anyone tell me what's gray, has a big bushy tail and gathers nuts in the fall?"
Silence.
Finally, a young boy timidly said "Ms. Smith, I know the answer is probably Jesus but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me."
Probably a myth, but still funny.
And, a couple of years ago a local youth leader told of taking his niece to service for the first time. As they approached for communion, she backed away in horror saying "I ain't eatin' nobody!"
2007-10-08 12:00:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a few "kid at church" jokes, though they're not anecdotes.
1) A little boy sits at a pew and prays, "Dear God, I want a bicycle." Then he looks outside the parking lot, which is empty. So he goes back to the pew and prays, "God, I really want a new bicycle." Again he gets up to look outside in the parking lot, and it's still empty. So he goes to his parents' car and takes their dashboard Jesus statue. He wraps it in paper, puts it in a shoebox, and hides it in the bottom of his closet. Then he get back to the pew and says, "OK, God. If you ever want to see your son again..."
2) A little boy was pulling his wagon by a church, where the priest stood outside. The front wheels of the boy's wagon come off, and he cusses "Aw, Jesus Christ!" The priest says, "Now young man, you shouldn't say things like that!" The next day the boy is pulling his wagon by the chuch, and this time the back wheels come off. The boy grunts "Jesus Christ!" The priest says, "Now son, you shouldn't take the Lord's name in vain like that. When there are problems, just say, 'Help me Lord'." On the third day, the boy is dragging his wagon by the priest, when all four wheels fall off. The priest glares at the boy, but instead of cursing, the boy says "Help me, Lord". At that moment, a light came down out of the sky, and the wagon levitated as the wheels magically re-attached themselves. The priest jumped and screamed, "Jesus Christ!"
2007-10-08 11:59:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 2⤋
When they passed the collection plate, my daughter asked "what does Jesus need money for?" in a very loud voice.
2007-10-08 11:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by Pangloss (Ancora Imparo) AFA 7 · 8⤊ 2⤋
So naive, but cute in a way.
2007-10-08 11:57:47 · answer #5 · answered by Red 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's cute I like it :)
I don't have any jokes sorry
2007-10-08 12:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Bear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea I care for some humor. Well aren't you going to give us any? :)
2007-10-08 11:58:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 5⤋
I don't find teaching kids superstitious nonsense about gods humorous. Religion preys on kids and does much harm in the world.
2007-10-08 11:58:14 · answer #8 · answered by nondescript 7 · 7⤊ 8⤋
There is nothing funny about brainwashing children.
It's abuse, no more, no less.
2007-10-08 11:58:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 8⤋