My daughter and her troubles?

Question

My 19 year old daughter started at a community college last spring; at the term end in June, we saw she failed all of her classes, as she was using cocaine at the time(i was unaware of her drug use). She went to rehab in August and stayed for a month; she is drug free and is trying to reform her life. She has moved back home and she wants to start again at a different community college in december, at the start of the next quater. Should i let her do that? I'm unsure, as she failed last time. She wants me to pay for half of it(i paid for all of it last time). What should I do?

Answer 1

Getting her off drugs was the first step. What's wrong with going back to school? It's probably a good thing that she wants to Get a career. As for paying for it, well it's up to you. If she fails again then you can make her get student loans so that she will learn responsibility.

Answer 2

Ok you need to completely eliminate the opportunity for drug taking. It's good that she wants to start fresh at a new college. Make sure she doesn't have contact with the people/friends that she was taking drugs with. Keep her living at home, & try to build up a communication relationship again. Tell her she's hurt you by doing this, but you're proud of her for beating her addiction. Ensure that she doesn't get too much cash.

The only way she can do this is with your help, guidance & support. Don't let her give up on her education, but you need to be there for her, until she can learn to stand on her own 2 feet in the world & handle freedom & adulthood responsibly.


EDIT: Marie C - I see I can't contact you, please send me an email from my profile page, I can help more if you'd like. I've recently gone through pretty much the same thing with my best friend, & I can give you a lot more info on how to handle this.

Answer 3

I think it is worth a try. It is a good thing that she wants to go back to school and she is showing signs of wanting a normal life again. If you don't help her pay for it, then she will most likely not go back to school. I think that you should help her out if she is showing you that she is getting back on the right track. If she messes up again then she is on her own, but i would definately give it a second try.

Answer 4

I've learned from my own experience that you sometimes have to hit bottom before you can get back up.

There are other forms of paying for college. She could apply for a Pell Grant, or the Hope Scholarship, or even apply for a student loan in which she has to pay back, not you. You've already paid once. That was her chance & she blew it. I'd say it's on her now.

Answer 5

She is drug free and trying to reform her life.

Unless you think she should pay for her mistake for the rest of her life, and never have a chance at a decent life, I'd say, "yes."

I think that, given that everyone does something dumb at some point in their lives, people should be given a chance after that, when they've wised up, to move on and build a decent life.

Answer 6

Of course you should! Support her! She went to rehab, is living under your roof. You need to know the signs of drug abuse, so that you can tell if she starts to use again, but she is offering to pay for half. She sounds like she is heading in the right direction.

Answer 7

Yes please help her. She needs you in her life. Don't give up on a child. Just because she failed last time don't mean she will now. If she did fail again please be there for her. Patches.

Answer 8

u ahould because ur daughter really wants to get her life back on track

Answer 9

Isnt it better that shes actually attending school then not doing anything. idle handdds.....