i'm 16 and i'm having trouble getting through my first break up?

Question

i recently got dumped by my first girlfriend.
i have no idea WHY she left me, she just said she couldnt handle a relationship and that she needed to "figurse some stuff out" which is total bull sh*t
but she was the only thing in my life that made me happy, and i havent been truely happy since i was maybe 7
i had told her that i love her and i meant it
without her..... i just dont know what to do
i know that all of you are just going to say "give it time" or "there will be plenty of other girls" but i wont believe that till it happens
since she left i havent been able to do anything, my grades are slipping, i quit the football team
and at work i've been coming in late, going home early and doing a half-assed job. if i worked for anyone else i would have been fired already.

i just really need some advice

but she was perfect
in the entire time we were together i could only find one thing wrong with her, and thats when i said she was beautiful she couldnt accept it, she had to argue and say she wasnt

its been affecting me pysically too, when we started dating i started eating right and lifting weights so that i could try and look good for her, but now i'm over eating and i dont exercize at all
no matter how much i tell myself i should, i just cant make myself

Answer 1

it sucks, i know when something that is the only light in your life leaves. ive delt with it too.though you said not to say this, i have too, give it time, i cried for such a long time, every night, but as the weeks past, other things came up, and though i thought about it daily still, i only thought about it at night before i went to bed. then i managed not crying when i thought about it. and even though its still not better, im sitting here typing this with out crying....

Answer 2

It sounds as if you are depressed. Everyone goes through a "mourning" period after a breakup, and understandable you are having a tough time of it. It is possible you need some real world support here. People who will come knocking and drag you out of the house when you are down, to do thing with you to distract you and help cheer you up. That said, time does not heal a broken heart. I hate it when people say that too.... You find your own little ways to move on and make peace with what has happened. I know that doesn't comfort you, but it's true. The pain can seem overwhelming, but you have to remind yourself that you survived without her before you met her and that you will continue to survive and live now. Meeting someone else right now wouldn't be a great idea, although some people tend to recommend that. It's really important that you find the things that fulfill you and do those things. You are young so you probably don't know what those things are yet... just try new things. If you don't like them, stop and try something else. Learn how to play the guitar or water ski.... just examples.... it will distract you and give you something to work on an look forward to while you deal with the break up. I promise, you will get through this! It may take some time, or no time at all, but this too shall pass.

Answer 3

I promise you that in a few years, you will look back at this situation as a non-issue. I once got my bike stolen when I was 7. I really thought it was the end of the world at the time. Now I look back at it as a non-issue. Life is full of situations that feel like the end of the world and most important thing imaginable. Get use to it. You're 16 now, time to grow up and get serious about going after real women.

Now, for the advice. Best thing to do is move on and rebound immediately. Get some cool clothes, a sun tan, a tattoo and start dating as many hot girls as you can. Ask out anything that moves, as long as she's hot. Who cares if you get turned down a few times. Everyone does. You will have your share of wins as well. Trust me, you may not think so right now, but there are other girls out there you'll end up digging as much, if not more than your ex.

Once you've been dating a bunch of hot chicks for a while, you're ex-girlfriend won't seem that important anymore. I promise.

Answer 4

Stephen: I know what you're going through, my friend. Being dumped sucks and there isn't a thing anyone can say that will make your pain go away. All I can offer you is hope. The very worst thing is that your ex doesn't feel the pain she is putting you through and she just keeps going while you feel your life falling apart.
By quitting the football team you are giving away something you need right now - the friendships you are building on the team. Those guys aren't a replacement for the closeness of love, but they are people who can help you through the painful times. If you explain your situation to your coach, you should be allowed back on the team.
Your job is a good place to distract your attention. Set goals for yourself and set up projects that you will spend a few hours getting done, then dive into it head first. Be careful to do everything as precisely as you can and take your time to be sure it is completed and that you can be proud of your work. Let your boss know you want to do this and you may get some ideas for projects that way.
Other than that, man, I have nothing I can say to take away the pain. I wish you luck and I hope you remember it is her loss to no longer have you in her life. You will have this break up to make you stronger. As for your grades, I know it's hard to break up, but your whole future is dependent on these grades. Pull yourself up and do whatever it takes to get your grades back up because you owe it to yourself and your future to get a good education. Really, do you want to let this sadness take away the dreams you have for your career? You may take whatever you want from this and I hope it helps you. I have lived through a painful breakup or two and I am telling you the truth. Take care of yourself. You will be fine and your life is not over. Good luck!

Answer 5

Hey well I wont tell you to give it time, however of course all things take time, the best advice I can give is that you have to be happy alone and with yourself before you can truely be happy with anyone else. YOU are the most important, that may sound selfish but things never go well in life if you are not happy and comfortable with who you are, it took me years to figure that out. Know why you are here on this earth, God put us here for a reason.
I hope this helps but basically you need to love you life family and friends so much that nobody can shake that.
katie

Answer 6

Break ups are rough, believe me. I had a bad break up with a boyfriend who had a slightly bi-polar personality. One day he "loved me" the next day he'd wake up hating me. I was depressed on and off for months and at one point stopped eating for 3 weeks. As hard as it may be, you need to take this situation and learn from it. You have to learn how to bounce back from a setback. My advice? What helped me most was just getting out of the house. Sitting around NEVER helps. Do anything.... no matter how random or lame it may seem. Getting your mind off of your ex is the best way to get over the pain. Do something new that you've never done before! You may always be hurt from this, but you will eventually be able to move on and be happy. If you need ideas, email me... I have a lot that actually take your mind off of being sad. Good luck! You'll be just fine, I promise.

Answer 7

You can't let this break up ruin you. IT seems like you had everything going for you..don't let it all disappear. Be a Fighter, don't let one loss be the reason for many. IT will take time to get over as you know already. take all the love you have for her and put it to good use, try to help someone who's in a worse situation than you, it will make you feel better.If you have brothers and sisters spend some time with them, do something nice for your parents..just focus on pouring out your love to those who will appreciate it. DOn't worry,it will pass

Answer 8

its going to hurt for a while, im going through the same thing. i pray, i know things happen for a reason, if she is breaking up with you for a bull **** reason then its good that she does it now and not 7 years from now when your married. of course it sucks but try to work as hard as you can in the other aspects of your life, it will help keep your mind off things. and you will find another girl eventually, and i know you dont want to hear it, but really, give it some time, she may even figure things out and come back to you. i'll keep you in my prayers.

Answer 9

It might take years to get over her if she is your 1st love but as a 1st breakup? You just need about a month. Get into the things you use to do before she came along. I dont see it fair that she is out there having fun while you are moping about her all day. Hey consider your self lucky, when I was your age, I was married in high school with a baby.

Answer 10

You are letting her control your life and you are broken up with her already! That's seriously retarded dude. Why are you going to let your grades slip-use homework as a distraction. Do you want to look back on life and say: "Oh I had to re-take 6 classes because a girl broke up with me." I don't think so. "I got fired from my job because my girlfriend broke up with me." Or even better: "I could have had a football scholarship but I quit the team because my girlfriend broke up with me."

See... dude-GET A GRIP! You need to hear the honest truth-and that is the following:

Give it time-yes, it will happen you will get over it. But that's all there is to it-time.

Why are you going to waste another minute of your life-a minute that you will NEVER get back on someone that you may never end up with again. It's not worth it.

Get your life back together, be her friend, and date other people.