How do I get over being so dependent on my mother?

Question

Serious answers only please.
I'm going to be 25 soon and I'm still completley dependent on my mother. When I was growing up my father was never around for me, and my siblings were way older than I am. i was also homeschooled most of my life, so it's like my mother was the only "secure" thing in my life. I knew she'd always be there for me, but I havent been able to get over that. I still rely on her for alot of things and I know that I'd be completely lost if anything ever happened to her. (when she's gone for a long time and Im not sure where she is, I start to worry that something happened, I know I wouldnt be able to cope without her) It's getting pathetic. I mean I know theres nothing wrong with loving your mom but I need to figure out how to become an independent woman. What can I do to stop feeling so dependent on her? Even growing up I couldnt spend the night at friends houses because I worried that something would happen to her while I was gone. Why am I like this?

Answer 1

You don't say if you have a job, but that would really be your first step. Get out of the house every day and go to work. That way you can earn the money to be on your own.

My son was just like you, and so he joined the Navy. You could try that, or maybe just do volunteer work with Red Cross or similar.

If you are worried about your Mom, get cell phones for the two of you so she can contact you, just in case. We have given cell phones to both Mom and Dad, and they call us several times a day, with every little thing. We have taught them how to text message so it doesn't interfere with work.

You don't have to get over it. You just need learn to manage it so that you don't feel burdened by it. It is a good thing to care about your Mom, but make sure you arrange to spend time doing "yourself" things as well.

Answer 2

i used to be like this until my mom had a stroke 2 years ago. i know EXACTLY what you mean and where you are coming from. it suuuucks... when my mom had her stroke, i was completely forced to become independent from her. it was the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me.i hope to god something like that doesn't happen to you. i think that the best thing is to actually talk to your mom about it. because chances are, you dont really get a chance to break away because she is equally as dependent on you. i would start planning things on your own that usually you call her for; and obviously, you are going to want to check things with her to make sure that you are on the right track and such, but the best thing to do is to actually talk to her and tell her what is going on. say if you check with her 10 times a day, cut it down to once in morning, and once at night. and if your mom usually checklists things to do with you, (like my mom did) make your own checklist and instead of her making it, you make it and if you need to, check it with her. and i know that i worry about my mom too... especially now that she's had the stroke, but if you cut down how much you are on the phone with her, it helps (out of sight out of mind... i know that sounds HORRIBLE but its very true). if you need to talk you can email me : )

Answer 3

Cut or untie moms apron strings, you're draggin on mom and you need to go into the world and seek your fortune.

Answer 4

start by doing things like washing you own clothes.
start paying you mother some rent.
help by paying some bills.
start by doing things for your mother.