Would you judge a parent based on their looks?

Question

I saw a mother the other day at the mall. She had the cutest little girl in a pink dress with her and they were sharing some ice cream. The mother was covered in tattoos, had both arms sleeved and a few tats on her ankles.

Watching them for a moment I noticed that I couldn't distinguish her from any other mother in the mall besides her tattoos, and that her tattoos didn't make a difference in how she interacted with her child. She was just another mother to me. Of course, some of the people around me were scowling at her, as if she had no right raising a kid. One woman made a rude remark that I caught about half of.

Personally, I think that physical appearance does not matter, it matters if a parent is a good parent and not if they *look* like they are. I mean, my father was horribly abusive but he looked like a perfect gentleman.

So what do you guys think? Should it matter what a parent looks like, or should it matter how they treat their child?

FYI-- I am not going to be a parent as I definately don't have what it takes, at least not right now. There is no way that at this young an age I would be settled enough to have a kid anyway.

By the way I'm not giving any thumbs-down because this is an opinion question :)

Answer 1

Yes....and no.

Some things about looks DO matter. For instance, a mother should not dress like a streetwalker because it will send a bad message to her children.

Her daughters might want to dress in a trashy way, too, and attract the wrong kind of attention from men, and possibly get into a lot of trouble.

Also, parents should want to be clean in their appearance because that also teaches a lesson to children about how to care for the body. It's good to be clean and well-groomed.

But you're right - other things DON'T matter - like tatoos.

Answer 2

No not at all..I have one tat, but I went through a piercing stages and at one time had my tounge, lip, eyebrow, nose and complete ears done... I wasn't a bad parent, I loved my daughter made sure she was feed ect. Got some strange looks at school...

My husband constantly teases me b/c I look like a hippy (not a dirty stinky don't bathe kind) but the flared jeans and tye dyes shirts, and he is more conserviative in dress at the parent teacher meeting he gets the most attention from the teachers :P, he is a wonderful dad but I'm the one that does the home work and all with them.

As long as the person is taking caer of their child and loves it then thats all that should matter.

Answer 3

I think naturally we judge people all the time be it right or wrong. She would've been judged if she were walking a dog down the street. If people like body art let them be it is a minority I believe that have created the reputation. I have known punks with funny coloured hair tattoos and they are perfectly decent people.
I hate it more when you hear Mothers screaming at their children at the top of their voices and what is worse is the child is not flinching because it happens every day. At least a child being shown care and consideration despite the appearance is probably a loved one.

Answer 4

No one can ever look at a person and tell who they are. The outside is never what the inside is. No one can look at a man and tell he beats his wife and child. No one can look at a woman and tell that she has the intent on drowning her children. Nor can you look at the priest and see that he abuses the children in his church. This is an issue that really gets under my skin. Their are people who turn their noses up at people who don't look right in their eyes. You never know when you come in contact with an angel. You also never know when the shoe maybe on the other foot. Good people are good people and they look like people. Same blood and the same way of breathing. I feel that before people can say what looks good is good they need to examine their own way of thinking, how they look, and definetly how they live their lives. There is no look that says I am a good person, wife, mother, father, brother etc. There's only actions.

Answer 5

Tattoos and piercings are an expression of our OWN person. They do not necessarily reflect how we parent, nor do they reflect our thoughts. If they are some that WOUDL say somethign specific about a person like that there is still always the chance that they speak of how a person USED to be. We all change, become completely different people throughout our lives. I have just a single tattoo, but it doesn;t mean anythign as far as how I parent nor abotu how much I adore and live for my children. My cousin has piercings and they say nothign about HER ability to parent.
I guess, simply, my answer is no I wouldn't.

Answer 6

It absolutely does NOT matter what the parent looks like but how they treat the kiddos.

Its sad that people will sit there and judge a perfectly good parent. Who knows what kind of life she has lead maybe she came from a rough background and got her life on track after getting pregnant...thats kinda my story atleast. But youre also right about parents that look picture perfect are not so perfect behind closed doors.

Answer 7

No i wouldn't.That's their business not mine.
If that is how they want to look then fine that's their perogitive.What's the use in judging people?When you do that god's judging you...who know's someone that just looks gothic might be the nicest person you will ever meet.etc. Don't waste your life in judging.I was judged my WHOLE school time from preschool all the way till i graduated that is half the reason i didn't go to college because i was so judged.oh well

Answer 8

I would think the tattoos are symbols of very poor judgement on her part at (hopefully) a very young age.

I may be put off initially, but I'd take another look to see how she treats her daughter most of all.

She'd better cover up her tattoos though, or she and her daughter both will suffer. They are still considered extremely "low class" by the majority of people. I don't want that child to suffer because her Mom had poor judgement long ago.

Answer 9

I think you're absolutely right. Joan Crawford was considered very glamorous in her heyday, and then it was discovered years after her death that she was an abusive monster towards her children. It doesn't matter if a parent has a physical deformity or is covered with tattoos and piercings from head to toe as long as he/she is able to provide for his/her children materially, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.

Answer 10

People will always judge you. Being a mother just gives them more ammunition. Unfortunately, you are judged on appearance...which normally has no indication on how good of a parent you are. i just wish all of us moms would stop being so hard and competitive on each other. We are all going through the same things, and a little support would be nice!