How can parents determine whether or not their kids are experimenting with drugs and alcohol?

Question

As a child care specialist I know kids face difficult decisions. Being involved in your child’s life is extremely important in ensuring they don’t end up taking the wrong path. Research from the Partnership for a Drug-Free America shows that kids who learn consistently from their parents about the risks of drugs and alcohol are up to 50% less likely to use than those who don't. What clues can you share to identify whether kids may be experimenting with drugs and alcohol?

Answer 1

Get involved in your kid's life. Nowadays there seems to be a big push for privacy. I know parents that would never dare venture into their kid's room. "It's their space and I respect their privacy".

Bull!

It's your job as a parent to know what your child is up to. Go in his room. Look in his drawers. Look in his bookbag. Let your child know that you do this on a regular basis.

Get to know your child's friends. Talk to his teachers. Give your phone number to his teachers and ask them to call you if they have any concerns. Does your child come straight home after school? If not, do you know where he went?

Kids need supervision. Not because they are bad kids, but to protect them from themselves. If left alone they will find trouble. If you child is over at Cody's house and Cody suggests going down to the skateboard park where all the cool kids hang, what is your child going to do? Hopefully you've told him to give you a call if he decides to leave Cody's and go someplace else. Or did you even know he was at Cody's house? If not, that's a problem.

So, your kid wants to go to skateboard park now. What kind of place is it? Is it a safe neighborhood park full of skateboarders, or is it the place where all the teenagers like to hang to deal drugs and smoke. Are there any pedophiles around there? Your child isn't going to think about any of this. He's just thinking one thing: Cody is cool. Cody likes the skateboard park. Let's Go!! It's your job as a parent to think of the dangers and protect him.

So, is your child doing drugs or drinking? I don't know. How about some simpler questions first. If you can't answer them all then you have some homework to do.
Where is your child right now?
Where will your child be after school tomorrow?
Who is your child's best friend?
What is the name of your child's favorite teacher?

Did you know. According to a recent survey, 30% of parents said that their teenager had been offered drugs or had tried drugs. 80% of teenagers said they have.

Answer 2

WOW... This is an interesting topic. Soooo many answers. Some are great, some interesting. Is there really a right answer? Every child is different. The way to tell on one child may not be the way to tell on another. There are many different things in life that can cause some of the same results of drug and alcohol abuse. Experimenting is something a lot of the children are going to do, just like sex. I am 50 now and do nothing like that but I sure did experiment. If my mother were to ask me if I experimented with it, I would of said no. I never got caught because I was soo good at being bad. My siblings always got caught. So how do you know? Invading their privacy because they have a change in their personality or eating habits or anything else is wrong. yet, you do not want them to be the ones who turn out addicted so you need to do something? What is that something? Out of all the answers I have read, the one I liked the most and also thought was humorous was the one where the young lady said her mother made them kiss her every time they came home. When I think back, I think that may have made me be even more careful or at least think twice about it. What that would do is not only give the parent a chance to look into the eyes (which can reveal a lot) and not only give the parent a chance to take a sniff (which could be too much gum and purfume as well as anything they did that they were not sapose to) but also give the parent the opportunity to look in the face of their child for guilt or other sign of misbehaving. And to top it off, What parent, in their right mind would have a problem with getting a hug or a kiss from their kid every day. Experimenting isn't as easy to detect as abuse is but it needs to be stopped early so it doesn't get to that point. HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR CHILD TODAY?

Answer 3

They stop acting like they normally do. This being not talking to there parents. They also would stay in there room and only come out for the bathroom and food. Have bad hygiene depending on the drug. There eyes also tell it too. But the way they dress is a big one. Not many parents notice that there kids change how they dress and that normally says there on one type of drug if they were long sleeves. They also can go through the child's room when there not at home. The best time would be when there at school. They could find some drugs or the stuff to do the drugs with.
I hope the information above helps. Have a good day.

Answer 4

I don't know much about alcohol abuse, but I do know more than I'd care to know about a child's drug addiction. The signs? It really depends on the level of drug use. I don't suppose if a kid tried pot a couple times, far away from home, that you would ever know. How could you? by the guilty look on their face? This would be one of those situations where you would probably have to ask them to find out. I suggest asking your teen now and then, and keep asking, just to make sure nothing has changed. You can't be sure what it will lead to- experimenting may be just that, or it could very possibly become an addiction so take it seriously and take action. If they "experiment" often enough that you can see somethings wrong, that isnt "experimenting", thats a drug user. When someone is a drug user you will definitely know- the signs are obvious- but depending on the drug they are using, they may not exibit all of the same signs. These are a few early warning signs- change in behavior; change in friends; grades slipping in school or inability to go to school; loss of previous interests; unhealthy appearance; sleeping all the time; money or valuables missing from your home; defensive attitude when you try to talk to them about it. Do not go into denial that this is happening. Never blame yourself, misplaced guilt isn't helpful to the situation. The child is the issue here- get them help and never back down for a second. Even after you get them help, do not believe they are somehow "cured". Drug addiction doesnt work like that, it is tenacious and insideous, it can last a lifetime (if your child lives that long) . Understand from the earliest stages that you could very, very possibly lose your child to this drug and work with professionals who specialize in drug addiction.

Answer 5

I hear a lot about communication when this type of question is asked. Now I agree communication is important but not having that during the "teen times" is not always a sign that there was not plenty in the past. Today parents have an extremely difficult time just being parents. Today even if a problem is suspected there can be little a parent or caregiver can do. It should be with in their power to do what ever is needed to protect their child when they make risky choices. It is all well and good to say they must learn and make their own way... but if they are unable that can be dangerous. What is a parent to do when the moment a child is old enough to attend school be way from mom and dad influences are there. And with the laws as they are they very often become enablers for these kids to continue in self defeating behaviors. How can one identify that is easy and hard at the same time.... a conundrum. Keep that well used word (communication) open surely but as long as there latch key kids we are just asking for trouble. We as a society will find money well spent to give all kids opportunity to just be kids with out the baloney and responsibilities they are not yet prepared for.
I know what I speak of both as a child for a time lost and as a parent of seven wonderful kids. Drugs are a sign that ones world view is faulty disconnected. We need to reduce the reasons why these kids want to escape it goes beyond their home world often in spite of it. Only then we will know what to do with what we discover. Kids learn from all examples. Parents should be blamed less when things go wrong and given less credit when they go well. We are only human and must work with in the constraints weighed down on us. Look into their eyes when you talk to your kids and you will know whether they are experimenting or not. But you really have to be looking.

Answer 6

Sometimes its hard to tell, much less prove. Kids who dont do it as often cover it up better than those who do it all the time. The ones who do it alot most likely have started out cautious, and realized that they get away with it, so it becomes a habit that they feel cannot be stopped or uncovered by parents.

If a parent has a kid that does drugs all the time, for example, they may come home from a "friend's house" smelling like smoke. That one's pretty obvoius. Also, a kid that's been drinking may slur their words, stumble around, act goofy, etc. Also, a major drop in grades and interest in normal things could be an issue. If a parent notices severe mood swings, and withdrawl, they should by any means question their kid's activity.

I agree that parent involvement has alot to do with it. Kids these days know the risks of drugs and alchohol, and what it can do to them. They do it for the thrill, or for stress relief, or because they've began hanging out with the "wrong crowd". Parents shouldn't leave alchohol laying out in the open, and should monitor the bottles if they feel it neccisarry( if they feel it is an issue then it should be hid someplace ). Punishment shouldn't be issued unless there is evidence of wrongdoing.

But in all, it is difficult to prove. Parents should be involved in their children's lives, and do the best they can to keep their kids on the right track. A kid who is on drugs and alchohol isnt always the parent's fault, but parental influence can go a LONG way

Answer 7

It really depends on the kid. Some are badly affected, some won't show it at all. There is a difference between recreation and abuse. Recreational users do it for fun and aren't addicts, while abusers are the addicts and can't stop themselves. Where recreational users are harder to spot, abusers end up having troubles in school and at home. Some end up with bad grades, losing friends, and all their money goes to drugs instead of other things.

In high school the man that is now my fiance was a "pothead" and did other dugs and drank a lot after his father died. However, he also graduated top in class with honors-- he is one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. He is a very successful person, and no one would have ever known he did drugs when we were kids. He was always told by his mother how bad drugs were.

As a teen I never did drugs or anything like that, didn't even drink. I was one of those gothy-punk kids in high school, the one everyone expected to be a druggie and get bad grades, but they were wrong. I am a writer and an accomplished artist now, and I also graduated with top grades and honors. And I was never once told how bad drugs were, I just decided that they weren't for me.

So it depends on the kid-- my fiance and I are successful people and never had a grade below an A in school, while others that you'd least expect get the worst grades and end up druggies in jail-- about half the football players in my old high school are there now.

Profiling doesn't work, just because something is a "sign" of using drugs does not mean that the kid does. It's a very hard line to walk.

Answer 8

Watch for the signs. If a child is experimenting with alcohol and drugs then they will go through substantial behavior changes. Their attitude will change. The may not act like themselves. They may want more solitude as well. If the parent starts to bring up questions related to alcohol or drugs then they can see what kind of reaction they get from their child. If their child is defensive, almost as if they are taking it personally, then that might be a sign. Their body language also plays a role. If you mention alcohol and they immediately don't want to talk about or cross their arms as if to block you out then that's a sign. Depending upon the type of drug, they could exhibit unexpected outbursts and other symptoms. I personally think that schools should do drug and alcohol tests on their students. Maybe they do and I just don't know it. It's like a job interview where they test you except that it's school instead. Since the kids are underage, the parents could get a copy of the results. But the easiest way to tell if something is going wrong with the child is to be observant and pay attention to mood changes, sudden outbursts, unwillingness to talk about those subjects, feelings of being defensive around those topics, etc. Another way is to just ask your child. If you have the type of child who usually opens up to the parent then this might work as well. You don't have to say "Are you doing drugs?" You could say "I know there are a lot of pressures at school. I was just wondering if you have experimented with drugs?" Or something like that. Present the question very carefully. Hope this helps.

Answer 9

There aren't THAT many ways to fully answer this. All of these other people obviously haven't experimented with drugs at all. Throughout High School I smoked marijuana every single solitary day, and had a 4.0 GPA and got accepted into a good college. The drug doesn't change the person, it's how they take it. Alcohol, on the other hand, is a totally different story. You need to be more worried about their alcohol intake than drug intake.

Highschoolers drink MUCH more alcohol than the ones that ingest narcotic substances. This may not be a "proven fact" but it's horribly obvious. They ask their parents for money for the weekend, they go to a friend's house, there are 40 people who are all getting drunk then driving home. Where as if your child goes over to a friend's house and smokes, they sit there all night playing video games and then go to bed. No harm no foul.

The only real way to tell is if they can't handle alcohol/drugs very well and give off obvious signs. Don't let bloodshot or droopy eyes be the key thing. See if they smell, check their grades, etc. If their grades are fine, there's normally nothing to worry about, because they're obviously balancing a school life and social life just well. Telling them NOT to do drugs consistently will just raise the chances of them actually wanting to try it. Leave it alone, see how the child does, then work from there. Look at me, I turned out just fine.

Answer 10

Hello, I am a mother of 3 and my oldest is almost 8. I have thought about this every since she was born. I think that you need to be aware of who your kid's friends are and know there parents. It can't always be the way your child dresses or even acts. There could many reasons besides drugs or alcohol that make kids dress differently or behave differently. You need to just make sure that your child knows that they can come to you or some other adult for help with life. These days drugs are sneaking into the lives of kids younger and younger. I also believe that if the parents are drinking at home in front of their kids or smoking or even doing drugs. Then you can bet that they will be doing the same thing in no time. Scary thought but I think it's true. Yeah, I am not saying that i never have an occassional drink during a wedding or a summer bbq but if the kids see that on a regular basis then they are going to think that it's okay to do all the time too. You also should make note that there are also kids that come from great homes with great parents that end up dropping out of school, doing drugs and who knows what else. But I think that the best way to know if your kids are experiementing is just to know your kids and be involved as much as you can. Parents should know there kids the best and everyone is different. There for the signs will be different. Just be aware of things and watch for any changes whether it's grades at school, sleeping patterns, or just behavioral. This is a tough one but I really think that the symptoms of drugs and alcohol are different in every person or child.

Answer 11

The best way? Talk to your kids. Assuming they are using due to changes in behavior is fine, but taking action before knowing is a horrible idea. And I mean talk to them long before, because as you stated if you do they are 50% less likely to use. Once my parents asked me if I was using drugs because during middle school I tried to move off on my own more (100% normal, you grow up and become more independant). I was A. Offended that my parents didn't know they had taught me better and B. Offended by the fact that some Doctor (which will remain nameless here) stated that if you're children don't want to talk at the teen years age, they are using drugs.

Really though, there are signs such as being withdrawn or major changes in attitude or drops in grades or new friends, but that doesn't always imply drugs. Every parent should have a relationship enough with their child to notice the changes and then to be able to talk and really believe what the child says. If that relationship is there, the child is less likely to lie about the use anyway. Children need to know that parents are there to support them, not only punish them, so comign in from a "You're so busted" stance isn't going to help as much as showing concern for whay drug use is a bad idea.